[Log] Niou & Akutsu

[akutsu]

Who: Niou & Akutsu (again)
When: Sometime before the idiot dislocated his shoulder
Where: Rec room, Niou & Hiyoshi's room
What: these chatterboxes do NOT shut up.



Akutsu was sitting at the bar in the rec room, nursing a drink. He'd ordered a beer like an hour ago, had a few drinks of it, and then had just been…well. Sitting there. It was actually pretty quiet - there were a few people, but they were minding their own business, having quiet conversations amongst themselves, nothing loud and disruptive. It was like he was alone, without technically being alone. The background conversation was like white noise, and it was almost meditative.

So now his beer was warm, barely touched, and he was waiting for Niou to meet him. He wasn't sure he actually wanted to have this conversation…but they probably needed to. And either whatever friendship they had was going to crumble, or…well, who knew. Maybe it would end up stronger. Only one way to find out.

Niou put a few more jobs on print and checked everything was OK to run without him for a little while so he could leave his shift for break, and then headed up to the rec room. It was… weird, to be going outside of his usual haunts and he usually avoided the public areas of the base, but maybe it was good to have the talk in a different environment?

He spotted Akutsu straight away and felt the usual weird, nervous energy start to build up again as he approached and slid into the seat next to him. “If you’ve been drinking again, I don’t want to have this conversation,” he said, eyeing the glass of beer.

Akutsu glanced over when Niou sat beside him. He debated raising the glass of beer and taking a drink, just to spite him, but warm beer was never good, so he decided it wasn't worth it. "Don't worry. I'm sober." He pushed the drink away. "Ordered that like an hour ago. Barely touched it." He let the bartender-bot take the drink, and debated ordering a fresh one… Nah.

Niou stared at Akutsu’s face and yes okay, he could believe that and looked at the lack of condensation on the glass as it was pushed away. “And what, just sat there holding it and thinking?” There were better things to hold in your hand if that was the case. But Niou kept that to himself. He drummed his fingers on the counter top and god, where to even start the conversation. “... this sucks. I miss when you used to just come and heckle me at my shop.”

"Sat here not thinking, more like," Akutsu remarked with a shrug. It had been a weird couple of months. Coming all the way out here, finding out Niou wasn't dead after all, and then the anniversaries of very painful things…fighting with Niou, making up with him, sort of…

"Things were pretty simple then, weren't they?" When had they gotten complicated? He really wasn't sure.

“I’m so envious of your ability to turn your brain off,” Niou said, sounding a little amused as he glanced sideways at Akutsu. He sometimes hated that his mind stayed so active and with rarely sleeping as well… it was just a constant onslaught. He scoffed and watched the bartender bot moving back and forth - he should probably clean the wheels at some point. “Yeah, not knowing if you were going to show up that day or not to annoy me. And I always did a paranoid check of the store when I went to buy food, in case you were in there.”

"Eh. It's not as easy as it sounds. Doesn't happen all that often, either." He shrugged. "Not without drinking myself into a stupor…and that usually backfires at some point."

Akutsu chuckled a little. "I remember that. Almost gave myself away twice." He'd actually been in there for two of those checks, just apparently damn well hidden. "Watching you be so freaked out was fun."

“You should probably find better ways of dealing with it than just drowning it with alcohol,” Niou said before biting his lip to stop the nagging. He ruffled his hair up in frustration and hitting his head on the table seemed like such a viable option right now, if they weren’t in public.

Niou just sighed instead. “Of course you were amused by it. You were so easy to keep amused for a few months there, you know. I’ve lost my touch now though. I just keep making you pissed.”

"Well. I'm a work in progress, I guess." Actually…having talked about it had helped. A lot more than he'd thought it would. Someone had told him once that talking about it makes it real, and only once it's real can you face it and move forward. Seemed like they were right.

Akutsu propped his elbow on the bar and his chin in his hand, looking at Niou. "I've always had a temper. It's worse this time of year, with that anniversary hanging over my head. But yeah, you've been weirdly annoying to me lately."

Niou bit back his automatic response that he’d never really seen Akutsu’s temper until really recently, but even then it wasn’t that bad. And really, while he had been in a fool mood for the last bit with the anniversary… NIou had still seen worse tempers. “I guess you want to know why,” Niou said, glancing at Akutsu. “I guess I’m just trying to figure out the new dynamic. And trying to figure out… stuff.”

"What new dynamic?" It bothered Akutsu. He knew something had shifted between them…but he couldn't put a finger on what, or why. Maybe it had been telling Niou about Akira. Maybe before that, when they blew up at each other in the gym. Who knew. Akutsu sure didn't. "And what 'stuff'?"

“The new dynamic that happened when I stopped manipulating the conversations we had so you’d make sexual comments, so I could react in an overly dramatic manner and you’d find it funny.” Niou grinned because it really had been way too easy sometimes. And it had made him laugh as well a bit, although he had to act horrified. “The stuff of… I don’t know what I actually want from you anymore.”

Akutsu snorted out a little laugh, but…yeah, that had stopped, hadn't it? Weird how he hadn't really noticed until Niou mentioned it. "I don't need you manipulating things to make comments like that. They'll come when they come." Though maybe not with the same frequency… Eh. Whatever. "Did you know what you wanted from me in the first place? Other than for me to quit annoying you and grossing you out?"

“It helped ease the tension when you first arrived though,” Niou pointed out. “I wanted to force us back into the old dynamic, so I pushed it a bit.” And it had worked, really. He wasn’t sure how to feel about Akutsu actually asking questions for once instead of just grumping at him and he fidgeted with the end of his rattail. “LIke, back in the shop, or when you first got here?”

Akutsu just shrugged. "Either. Both." Not like Akutsu knew what he wanted, either. Back on Earth, Niou had just been an amusement. Something to do to pass time, and a convenient source of materials for whenever he felt like trying his hand at making something. Probably until that delirious episode, because if it had really been that simple, he would've noped out and left Niou to his own devices, with whatever results that entailed….but he hadn't. "For what it's worth…I don't really have that answer myself."

“Maybe some company… back on Earth,” Niou said with a frown, looking away as he thought. “Maybe I’d finally gotten lonely enough, I don’t know.” It hadn’t been like he couldn’t have chased Akutsu off after all. He played with his hair some more - it really was getting long, he noticed vaguely. “And just before… I don’t know. It was pretty nice having someone I knew show up, I guess.” What with seeing other people with friends and being very close. Niou put his hand palm up on the counter and wriggled his fingers. “Can I hold your hand?”

Akutsu thought about it too. As much as he called himself a loner, he'd never really actually been alone. On his home colony, there'd been a bunch of other kids. They worked together to make sure they were all taken care of. Then they'd moved to a space station, which was always full of people. Then prison, back to the station, kicked out and ended up with Akira and crew… A bit of truly alone time after he stole his second shuttle…and getting back in prison had weirdly been a relief. And then of course, getting released and living with his mom (who he'd actively spent as little time around as possible). "I guess that makes sense." He looked at Niou's hand for a moment, trying to decide what to do. And then he rolled his eyes and plopped his hand into Niou's.

After the conversation, maybe Niou had been a little worried Akutsu would just snort and tell him no. And it was a weird relief that Niou could grasp his hand and pull it into his lap to rest on his thigh and hold onto. He was silent for a while, tuning into the conversations happening around them. “... Why would you think I suddenly don’t need you?” Niou asked finally, going back to the question Akutsu had avoided back in the comments.

"Not sure why you're implying you do. You get way more touch exposure with Tachibana, I'm sure. Other than that the only thing you get from me is grief and headaches." It's not like Akutsu contributed to anything important. Even here, he was just grunt labor. "And I'm clearly pathetic enough for you to try to pimp me out."

“I don’t want to be solely dependent on a single person for physical contact,” Niou said, frowning. “Could you imagine it? Me being my old completely touch-phobic self, except for Tachibana being allowed to touch wherever? That would be… weird.” He did pause at the little added on comment though and turned to look at Akutsu. “Is that what bothered you so much? That it seemed like I thought you were pathetic or something? Or that I was trying to fob you off onto someone else?”

Akutsu just shrugged, making a mental note that apparently, Tachibana had no lines. Interesting. Weird, but interesting. "Wouldn't be the weirdest thing about you," he remarked, debating calling the bot back over to order another beer. But he resisted the urge, at least for now. "Wouldn't be the first time. Unlike some people, I'm not the kind of person that needs hundreds of friends. …back home, the expression was I'd rather have four quarters instead of a hundred pennies." Quality over quantity.

“I’m not putting all my eggs in one basket to be left with nothing when he gets sick of my bullshit,” Niou said with a grim chuckle of laughter. “I don’t think I could cope going from what I’ve got now to… nothing.” He stared at Akutsu’s face and squeezed his hand, resisting his first comment about how Akutsu kept saying he had no friends. “Well I wasn’t trying to make you someone else’s problem. I told you didn’t I? That even when I die before I’m 30, I’m going to come back and haunt you forever.”

"What makes you think he's gonna get sick of your bullshit? He's put up with you this long, hasn't he?" Akutsu glanced down towards their hands at the squeeze, not really sure what to do about it. "Then why bother? If you're gonna hang around even after you're dead… It doesn't make sense." He actually wanted to yell at Niou for the whole 'not gonna make it to 30' thing, but decided he'd save that for later.

“2 months is hardly that long of a time. I still have lots of secrets he doesn’t know about and they might chase him away.” Niou laughed a bit and flipped their hands, to rest his on top of Akutsu’s. “What if ghosts aren’t real, though? Or I can’t choose to attach myself to you and end up back on Earth? Or I can’t interact with you all the time? Then you’ll just be alone. I’m just making contingency plans, just in case. If it’s all successful and I’m stuck with you after death, then you can chase everyone else away. Or I’ll do it for you.”

Akutsu looked at Niou, and made an overly dramatic show of rolling his eyes. "If he likes you as much as he seems to, it won't matter." Well, Akutsu really only had what little info was publicly shared on the journals, which wasn't all that much, but for some reason he assumed Niou would've at least told him if Tachibana had kicked him to the curb. "Got an easier solution for ya. Live past thirty. That you gotta choice in."

“He saw me completely naked the other day,” Niou said, because oversharing with Akutsu was just… normal. “And you know, my weird body didn’t turn him off. So, that’s kind of nice.” Of course, he was still convinced it was because Tachibana was actually too nice of a human being and very biased. He shifted his hand to stroke his fingertips down Akutsu’s palm, looking down and then back to following the bartender bot around. “What happened to ‘I got along fine when I thought you were dead’?”

Akutsu nearly choked. "He--what?" The surprise was more that Niou was willing to be seen completely naked by anyone at all than that Tachibana hadn't been turned off by it. That latter part didn't surprise him hardly at all. "How in the world did that--- You know what, never mind. Don't tell me. I don't wanna know." Seriously. More detail than he needed, even if he was curious as hell.

Instead, he tried to tune out the exploration of Niou's fingers on his hand. It was just Niou getting used to touching someone other than Tachibana, after all. "I was fine." Mostly. It meant the only person he had to deal with was his mother, and…well. He'd as much run away from that as she had pushed him out.

See, now that Akutsu had had that reaction, Niou just wanted to overshare. “We were talking about the logistics of… getting more physical down the line, right? And he got all ‘I promise you won’t be offputting’ about me being naked. So then I had to test it. And it was just like a strip and show and then I went back to work thing.” And now that he said that outloud, he realised how ridiculous his 10 minutes of madness had been.

Niou kept touching mindlessly, as something to fidget with. “But in 5 years when I’m 30 and you’ve been stuck with me for that long, you don’t think you’ll be fine. Is that what you’re saying?”

Akutsu facepalmed with his free hand. “You know, I really don’t need to know about your sex life, or whatever the hell you wanna call it.” It really was such a weird dynamic, but who was he to question someone else’s relationship, as long as they were both happy.

“I never said that. And I have no idea what it’s gonna be like five years from now. I don’t like thinking that far out. Tomorrow, okay. Next week, sure. Next month, maybe. But beyond that, it is what it is. I’ll take the blows as they come.”

“I also don’t need to know about yours and yet here we are,” Niou said with a dismissive shrug.

He sighed in frustration and for as much as Akutsu said he was a straight forward person, Niou found him so, so frustrating and difficult to read sometimes. He went back to just hand holding and knocked their held hands against his leg as he thought. “Can we move somewhere else to talk?” he asked suddenly. “I’m pretty sure Hiyoshi is on shift right now.”

Akutsu arched an eyebrow. “What, worried that wierdo will see you doing something so scandalous like - “ he mock-gasped, “ - holding someone’s hand?” What did it matter who was on shift?

“He’s not a weirdo,” was Niou’s automatic signed reply. And then he scrunched up his eyebrows and squeezed Akutsu’s hand again. “We always talk a bit more openly in private, is all. And my room doesn’t stink like cigarettes.”

Akutsu just stared for a moment. Niou had literally just told him that he and his boyfriend were getting more physical, that he’d stripped down naked in front of the guy, while they were in a public place. What could be more open than that? But whatever. “Fine. Let’s go.” He wasn’t sure what Niou expected out of him that would be any different, but it wouldn’t hurt anything.

Niou let go of Akutsu’s hand and hopped up, silently leading the way from the rec room back to his room. And he did a quick check on the way of Hiyoshi’s schedule that yes, he was definitely out at work. He opened up the door and gestured for Akutsu to go in. “Oh shit, hang on let me clear some pillows off my bed so you can sit down.” Because his nest of them was definitely a bit ridiculous. He gathered up an armful to stack them onto his desk chair out of the way.

Akutsu had been about to say he could just sit on Niou's chair when the guy plopped a pile of pillows on it. "...You really do have an assload of pillows," he remarked, pulling over Hiyoshi's chair instead and flopping down onto it. "So. What did you want to say that you couldn't say out there?"

Oh, well yes he supposed that was definitely a solution as well. Niou tended to stay politely clear of Hiyoshi’s things in general though. He sat down on his bed instead, shifting the pillows so he could comfortably sit up against them. “I bulk took them from logistics just to be an asshole,” he said laughing at the memory. Niou glanced away as he tried to think what to say. He hadn’t actually moved for a particular thing he wanted to say, it was more just for the general… increased honesty from both of them. “I like holding hands with you,” he said bluntly, returning back to the conversation that he was pretty sure Akutsu had deflected away from. “And… I do actually need you, and not just for being a guinea pig and stuff.”

"Well then you're gonna have to explain, because I'm at a loss." Akutsu…really was tired of always trying to figure Niou out, questioning when he was being truthful, or how much was true, if any…always trying to read between the lines… "And…since we're being completely honest, I hope… I'm just getting tired of trying to figure you out."

“I do honesty with you in the same way you do with me,” Niou snipped at him, the annoyance bubbling up quite abruptly. “I hate that you can’t just believe that I do actually tell you the truth. And I have, since you made it clear it was important to you.” His face twisted a little in actual anger before he clamped down on it. Niou let out a loud exhale. “I don’t have an explanation for you, because I don’t know it myself.”

"You spend so damn much time talking in circles and evading that's it's hard to know where the lines are. So can you blame me? And sure, I don't tell you everything. But I at least tell you when we've hit on something I don't wanna talk about," Akutsu's own irritation was like a defense mechanism. He didn't mean for it to happen, but he could tell Niou was annoyed and it just popped up. He took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. "If you don't know how you need me, then how do you know that you do?" It wasn't meant to rile up Niou. He just wanted to understand.

Niou bit back an angry reply that the only reason he had to talk in circles was because Akutsu was too dumb to figure out the blunt answer, so he had to try and come at the problem from different angles to see what stuck. Getting angry wasn’t going to help right now because they’d probably end up arguing again and who knew how many times he could try and carefully piece things back together.

So he stomped down on the anger and took a few more deep breaths to calm down. “Because like… I hate it when you don’t talk to me,” and Niou knew this was risking just giving Akutsu fodder for if he wanted to be a pain in the ass. “And when I have questions… I go to you. And…” he had to look away and stare at the ceiling now, talking very fast and going red. “And when the talk of having sex with Tachibana came up… I seriously thought about asking you for help first, because I didn’t want to risk freaking out with him.”

It was a damn good thing Akutsu wasn't drinking anything, because he'd have spit it out with what Niou said. All of it was surprising, but…that last part? Woah. "Okay, well, for the record, no, I won't help you with that. I don't mess around with people who are dating someone else, under any circumstances." Besides. If Tachibana couldn't handle Niou freaking out about something like that, then he wasn't worth it as a partner anyway…although it would be a shitty way to find out.

"...Do you…even want to have sex with him?" Because at least in Akutsu's head, if it was something Niou wanted to do, the risk of freakout would be really low.

“I wasn’t going to actually ask you, I just thought about it as an option” Niou grumbled, pressing his hands against his face to try and calm down. He shook his head because god, he could have probably gotten the same message across without having to blurt out that particular detail and train of thought.

He chewed his lip and lowered his hands finally, glancing at Akutsu’s face and then away. “I don’t know?” Niou ran a hand through his hair. “Yes? But then you got so serious about telling me it should be someone really special. And I usually panic the first time with new touches.” he was talking to himself now, running through the same train of thought that he’d mulled over many, many times. “Like it’s normally fine the second time once I figure it out, but what happens if it’s… going in and I just have a complete meltdown? He already treats me like glass, he’d probably never let me take my pants off again.”

This was SUCH a conversation he did not need to be having. It really was not his business. But god fuck it. "Look. If you wanna do it just cuz you're curious that's fine. You're an adult; you can make your own choices. But from my own experience, for better or worse, the experience stays with you. Mine wasn't great. Sometimes I still wish I hadn't done it when I did. But it's not like I can change it." He shrugged. The past was over. No sense in wallowing in regret. "But…first of all, if you do have a meltdown at that moment, only a prick would keep going. Decent people would stop and make sure you're okay. Second, if he's not willing to try again, he's not worth it. That's the kind of shit I'd do to a fling that I don't give a damn about."

Niou seriously thought about just melting into the ground at this point of the conversation. The fact that Akutsu was actually seriously and earnestly addressing his concerns and talking him through it was so much worse. He flopped sideways down onto his bed and curled up with a pillow so he could hide his face and didn’t have to worry about his expression. “He’d probably be like ‘oh we’ll just slowly work up to it again’ and I’ll die at 30 and still have not done it,” he sighed because Tachibana would totally do that because he was a nice, thoughtful person. “Or he’d be like ‘we could try the other way around’...”

Akutsu snorted. "I'm not sure you'd have better luck being the one to put it in." God why. Why was he having this conversation? Why was he not being an absolute dick about it? WHYYY? "Slowly working up to it is the right approach, though. Let you get used to it on your terms. …And if you're worried about dying a virgin, then live past thirty. How many times do I have to say that?"

He sighed and put another pillow over his head for a few moments to just hide a bit more. But eventually he had to move it off and look grumpily at Akutsu. “I never used to think about all of this, you know. I thought I’d completely killed my sex drive through lack of sleep. But then you kept talking about it and I got curious.” And god he missed those days before when he just floated through and focused on surviving and working. Niou patted the spot on the bed next to his head. “Sit here, Jin.”

Akutsu just shrugged. "I like sex, what can I say? It's normal to talk about things you enjoy." He didn't get up, though. There was something that was nagging at him, and he wanted to ask about it from a safe distance away. Then, maybe, if Niou still wanted him to, he might consider sitting on the bed. "...Don't think I didn't notice, Niou. That you didn't seem to be worried about freaking out doing that stuff with me. …What's up with that?"

Akutsu was not moving and Niou narrowed his eyes at him. Of course he was going to be difficult about it. And then of course he had to ask a question and Niou groaned, considering just putting the pillow over his face again. “I just… don’t get as anxious about physical contact with you. And it doesn’t make me twitchy after. ” He looked conflicted as he ran through different memories, staring blankly at Akutsu as he did. “And I don’t know why, before you ask.”

Akutsu snorted. He had a few thoughts on that, but decided not to voice them. Instead, he got up and walked over, sitting on the bed right at Niou's waist. And then he flopped backwards, lying on top of him, putting Niou's statement to the test. It…wasn't actually a very comfortable position, but he could probably hold it long enough to satisfy his curiosity.

Niou was about to perk up and ask to hold hands again but then Akutsu was lying across his waist and he wheezed. “Oh my god you are crushing my organs,” he complained, half-heartedly elbowing Akutsu. “You are so stupidly heavy this is the worst.”

Akutsu laughed, which was actually not easy in this position, butt and shoulders on the bed while everything in between was arched over Niou. Uncomfortable as it was, though, he chose to stay like that a little longer, raising his arms up and crossing them beneath his head. "You know, if you'd actually put some meat on your bones, it wouldn't feel like so much. I weigh as much as I do because I'm all muscle." Well. Okay, maybe not all, since that would be unhealthy, but close enough.

Oh god, Akutsu was actually getting comfortable. Niou elbowed him again before jostling his weight and managing to roll onto his back. Which just pressed Akutsu’s weight entirely onto his stomach and he wheezed again. “I’ve actually put on weight in the last few weeks, I’ll have you know,” he said, sounding just a bit strained. “Oh my kidneys feel like they’re getting compressed right now. I hope my bones digging into you hurts at least.”

It was actually impressive Akutsu managed to maintain his position despite Niou's rolling around. "Now just tone that weight into muscle and I'll be impressed." But okay. Niou wasn't freaking out, and this position was just more uncomfortable, so Akutsu sat himself back up. "I might end up putting on some weight too, now that I think about it…" After all, Tachibana was cooking meals for him now, and he'd definitely eat more real food than he had the replicator shit. "Might have to change my workout…"

Niou coughed in relief as Akutsu’s weight was gone suddenly. “I do have some muscle, thank you very much,” he said indignantly. And pushed up the sleeve of his shirt to show part of his upper arm and the stringy definition there. “See?” He looked down Akutsu’s torso. “If you gain weight, you’re even less allowed to lie on top of me, I might actually die.” Niou moved his hand to flop it pointedly in Akutsu’s lap, wriggling his fingers up at him.

Akutsu reached over and squeezed Niou's arm. "...I mean, you have enough that you can move, so I guess that counts…" C'mon. Still skinny as hell. "Well, you'll have your boyfriend to thank for that, so blame him. Besides. I think it'll take a lot more weight than I have to actually kill you." He looked down at the hand in his lap…and debated making an obscene comment… "You really still wanna hold hands, huh? What, are you addicted or something?"

Niou laughed and shifted his arm away from the squeezing, twitching at the odd tickliness. “I can’t believe he’s somehow cooking you food as well, this is ridiculous.” Tachibana actually was too nice, he decided there and then. If all it took was Akutsu looking sad and probably with a dying liver to get meals. He looked steadily up apt Akutsu and wriggled his fingers again. “Yes. I like holding hands with you, I wasn’t lying when I said that.”

"Because that replicator is a fucking joke. Even the ones we had on my shitstorm of a colony were better than that," Akutsu shrugged. "He offered. Who am I to turn down real food?" Especially that was that good. Definitely the best meal he'd had since he arrived on Yomi. "What is it about my hands that you like so much?" he asked, giving in and putting his hand in Niou's.

“I think it’s got to do with the algae and bioreactor, rather than the actual replicator,” Niou said, thinking about it. But he also wasn’t willing to go have a poke around and risk fucking up their constistent source of food. He smiled and gripped Akutsu’s hand again. “They’re nice hands.” He moved Akutsu’s hand to hold it above his face to inspect it closely with both of his own hands, running his fingers along the joints of the fingers one by one. “May I ask a question?”

Akutsu just hummed at the replicator stuff. He knew some things when it came to engineering, but he definitely did not have the level of knowledge Niou did. When it came to replicators, all he knew was that the ones here made food that tasted like crap, and were apparently really easy to fuck up. "...They're just hands. Nothin' nice or not nice about 'em." ….The way Niou was examining his hand was a little weird. "Yeah. Sure. We've already had some bizarre ass things come out today, why not one more."

“No, you’ve got good hands. Good for making things with.” Like Niou’s own hands were also similar. He turned Akutsu’s hand around to see the palm and ran his thumbs over the palm lines. Even after getting the agreement to his question, Niou was silent for a while. And then he glanced away from his close inspection of Akutsu’s fingerprints, holding his fingers close to his eyes, up to his face. “If you don’t ‘mess around’ with people who are in relationships, why did you agree to kiss me the other day? Or is kissing and sex on two different levels?”

"Not like I do a lot of that." Maybe he should…although it wasn't like there was a lot to work with that wouldn't eventually be needed for something more important. But at Niou's question, Akutsu let out a big sigh. Yeah, he'd known that was going to bite him in the ass eventually. "Honestly?" He sighed again, running his free hand through his hair. "Yeah, kissing and sex are on different levels for me. I don't kiss hookups. Akira and I…we kissed a lot." Kissing was something that Akutsu usually considered more intimate than sex. Even he wasn't entirely sure why that was, exactly, but it is what it is. "As for why… I dunno. It felt like the kind of thing you'd nag about forever until I either got tired of it enough to do it or punched you. So the fastest way to shut you up about it was to do it."

“Nothing stopping you from coming to work in engineering if you wanted,” Niou said with a shrug. “It’s not like you need to have a fancy qualification, as long as you’re good.” He stared at Akutsu’s expression, his gaze sharpening slightly at the mention of that person again, before he turned back to inspecting the hand in front of him. “Have you ever considered that because you were so enamored with your relationship with Akira and the dynamic that you had there, that it blinkered you to other possibilities because it wouldn’t be giving you back what you lost?” he asked lightly. “It’s not about really replacing him, you know.”

Akutsu just shrugged. He wasn't really sure he wanted to change jobs, despite the fact that engineering would be loads more interesting than his current gofer status. "I'm well aware it's not about replacing him. No one could, even if they tried." And yeah, maybe he'd kept his eyes closed to other possibilities. "I haven't found anyone else because I haven't wanted anyone else. It's been years, and I know he's gone, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to let go." ….Weirdly enough, though, the trend still continued. The more he talked about it, the more ready he felt. Even if there was a part of him that felt like moving on meant being unfaithful, there was another part that constantly reminded him there was no point in being faithful to a dead person.

Niou had some thoughts to add, but… they felt inappropriate to voice because he didn’t know this person at all. He held Akutsu’s hand instead and stared up at the ceiling. “Can I kiss you again?” he asked suddenly, glancing at Akutsu and then away. “And to save you the problem of asking why, I just want to. You can say no.”

Akutsu blinked, then stared at Niou. Such a weird, weird thing to ask, out of the blue. And…the thought that came to Akutsu's mind because of it was…well. Even more weird, if that was possible. But it wasn't the first time it had occurred to him, so he had to ask. "I'm…probably way off base here but…" Oh god this was so incredibly awkward. "Do you like me? Like. More than a friend kind of like?" Maybe he should shower just for asking it.

Niou raised his eyebrows at the weird phrasing of the question, very far away from Akutsu’s usual way of asking things. He looked at his face again and god, maybe two months ago he would have fake-gagged and complained, maybe kicked Akutsu for being gross. “I don’t know,” Niou said honestly, purposely looking away again. “We’re not friends, so who knows if I understood what it was like to ‘like’ you as a friend. Isn’t every friendship different?”

Oh for fuck's sake. "Oh my god really. You--" Akutsu sighed, annoyed, angry, and frustrated. This was such a stupid thing for Niou to be hung up on. Was the label really that important? "Fine," he huffed. "You're a friend. An incredibly annoying, frustrating, pain in the ass friend, that is half the reason I smoke as much as I do."

Niou laughed and genuinely smiled at the admission. “Okay. Well. I definitely like you in a way that’s different to Yanagi, Sanada, Gakuto and Hiyoshi,” he ticked off the names on his fingers. But maybe that’s just because we’ve known each other for longer. I don’t know.” He couldn’t stop the smiling though.

Well. That didn't entirely answer his question…but knowing Niou's deficit with actual human interaction, it was probably the best he was going to get. It was also annoying as shit, just like that stupid grin on Niou's face. "Now you're being creepy," Akutsu grumbled, putting his whole hand over Niou's face and pushing the guy away. "Seriously, knock it off."

Niou flailed for a moment as he was pushed more into the bed by his face and he pushed away Akutsu’s hand because that was uncalled for. His smile at least was gone when he emerged. He looked at Akutsu’s face some more and ahh, now he was thinking about other things again. “You didn’t answer my question by the way.”

Akutsu shrugged. "I know. Needed an answer to mine first. Now that I have it -" or as much of one as he was likely to get, " - no. No more kissing. Shouldn't have done it the first time, not gonna go there again." His policy of not fooling with people in relationships stood, after all, and even if he didn't understand the nature of Niou's with Tachibana, it counted.

Niou tilted his head slightly at the answer and frowned. He was silent for a moment, thinking through things before turning his attention to Akutsu again. “May I ask why? Is it… because of my thing with Tachibana? Or… is it because I don’t know how to define you properly?” Both? “What if I came out and said that I’m quite sure friends aren’t meant to have certain thoughts about each other?”

"Both. Look. I don't know exactly what you have with Tachibana, and I don't have to understand it. But it's close enough to being in a relationship with him that I don't consider you single. And I don't kiss casually. With that one exception with you, I don't kiss if I'm not actually involved with the person." Sure, maybe Akutsu's rules for himself were strict, but he had his reasons. "Whatever thoughts you might be having don't change things. This is where we are."

Niou narrowed his eyes thoughtfully at Akutsu’s answer, mulling over the phrasing of both his question and the way that Akutsu had answered it. How interesting. “I see.” He sat up finally, fussing for a moment over rearranging his pillows. “You’re so fascinating, Akutsu Jin,” he said with a smile. “Such interesting morals and lines for decency. I learn so much from you.” Niou poked him on the arm. “Can I hug you at least? As your one and only friend?”

Akutsu's brow furrowed. He wasn't sure if the comment about morals was supposed to be a compliment or an insult (or…anything else, since it was Niou that said it). "I'm really not fascinating. Seems like a pretty normal way of looking at things to me." The question about hugging kind of caught him off guard, though, because that was a new one. "I'm sure I still reek of cigarettes."

“Well, maybe consider that I don’t really talk to other people about things like this.” Niou shrugged. He did blink and perk up a bit at the not outright rejection of a hug. “That’s fine. I think I’d be weirded out a bit if you suddenly stopped smelling like them.” He moved a bit closer and before Akutsu could change his mind or Niou could chicken out, he hugged him, pressing his face into Akutsu’s shoulder. “Also, for your information… I wasn’t talking about my own thoughts.”

Akutsu sat still, letting Niou hug him. It was weird, because it had been so long, and because it was Niou, who he was still used to being grossed out by even the thought of things like this. "What the hell kind of thoughts do you think I'm having, then, if you weren't talking about yourself?" He'd keep the bit about thinking of quitting the cigarettes to himself, for now.

“Ah, you forgot.” Niou had to remember sometimes that Akutsu didn’t store every little detail of every conversation to mull over in his mind - which Niou was endlessly jealous about sometimes, and also baffled by. “You told me. Back when you first arrived, and you were threatening to make me sleep if I rocked up at your door to talk before sleeping post-expedition. You got some weird thoughts about doing something to me that were out of the ordinary and unnerved you and you got all pissy at me. And you later said they were… things that you don’t do with just anyone..” He rested his chin on Akutsu’s shoulder and loosely hugged him. “If your arm spasms and just happens to hug back, I wouldn’t complain. Just by the way.”

Hmm. He had said something like that, hadn't he? But pretty much the only thing that Akutsu could think of that might've been what he thought then was to pin him down and kiss him senseless……well. That whole thing was pretty much moot, now. Oh the irony. "Well. People change," is all Akutsu said with a shrug. He thought about hugging back, but all he actually did was raise an arm to pat Niou on the back before putting it back down at his side.

“And some people are really fucking dumb,” Niou said laughing a bit. He was genuinely surprised that Akutsu half-listened to him though, and scooted a little closer to hug him easier, “Would you let me hug you again in the future, or do I have to get my lifetime of hugs in this one instance right now?” There was definitely the lingering smell of cigarettes, but it wasn’t bad and Niou stared at the wall over Akutsu’s shoulder.

"Niou, you frustrate me on a good day. Don't ruin your chances at future hugs by being a dick." Not that Akutsu was technically hugging. It wasn't terrible, and…maybe he'd do it again. Maybe not. It would depend on his mood when Niou asked. "Better get what you can while you can. I promise nothing."

"I never said I was talking about you," Niou said. He would have liked to move and arrange things so it wasn't quite as awkward positioning, but he has a feeling the moment he broke the hug, he wasn't going to be able to start one up again. "Okay, so being a dick isn't allowed… … mmm… I like you lots, Jin. And I'm glad you randomly appeared here."

Yep. Frustrating. "Then don't be ambiguous and say 'some people'. Just name names, for fuck's sake." And Niou wondered why Akutsu said he was complicated… Akutsu sighed and kind of relaxed against Niou a little. A part of him hated it that he hadn't moved away or made Niou get off of him. But…maybe sometimes he needed it, too. "You're really weird, you know that?"

"But I like letting people fill in the gaps on their own, it says a lot." Such as Akutsu's first thought being that Niou was talking about him. Niou sighed and okay, maybe at this point the hugging was getting a little weird, but he also didn't want to pull away. "Yes I know," he laughed. "But, if I was boring and normal, you probably would have fucked off after that first meeting in the grocery store."

"And you wonder why I get annoyed with you." …And just to mess with Niou, Akutsu smirked to himself. "It'd save me a lot of stress if I had. Kinda regret that…" he remarked, a bored tone to his voice, even as leaned down a little to bite Niou's shoulder. It wasn't super hard, probably wouldn't even leave a mark, but he might get an interesting reaction out of him.

"Maybe you just need to learn to ask for clarification instead of assuming your own answer. For the record, I think we're both fucking dumb sometimes." Niou was going to argue back, say that Akutsu would have gotten very bored, but he tensed at the bite and made a soft noise in response, his arms tightening. And clearly the best way to deal with that was by turning his head to bite Akutsu back on the side of his neck.

Oh. Well, that was not the reaction Akutsu had expected. A yell, an 'ew oh my god why are you doing that', a shove…sure. But not that noise, not being clung to or bitten in return. So Akutsu let go of Niou's shoulder, shouldered Niou off his neck. "Wow. Where the fuck did that come from?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

Niou looked rather embarrassed at the reaction and question and okay, maybe he should just just fallen into his old reactions. He sat back and glanced at Akutsu’s neck and then to his face. “It’s your fault for biting and ruining a perfectly nice hug,” he said, poking at his own shoulder. “Especially if you want me being honest and not hiding things from you… I like being bitten, okay?”

"So you've gone from being touch-phobic to being seen naked and knowing you like being bitten in…what, like a month?" It was hard to remember sometimes how long he'd been there, but Akutsu clearly remembered arriving around the last set of expeditions. "That's a lot of progress."

“Two months,” Niou corrected because he really couldn’t resist. Although, maybe a little bit less because really it hadn’t started until he was on expedition and being stuck next to Hiyoshi 24/7. “Look… it’s with like 3 people in total. I still don’t like other people at all… actually Hiyoshi is just hugging at this point.” Niou ran a hand through his hair and looked a bit embarrassed. “It’s less progress and more… realising that it’s not that terrible with certain people.”

"Close enough," Akutsu shrugged. "Still, it's 3 more people than you had before. You're even thinking about sex with one of them. That's a hell of a lot more than you used to. …even if for most people it's only certain people that it is terrible with…." He couldn't resist a little teasing, just to annoy Niou more.

Niou frowned. "I don't know if I was ever really… completely opposed to touches. It just took me a while to realise they weren't necessarily about to lead to… bad things." He trailed off and looked troubled as his mind went on an unnecessary adventure, before he visibly shook himself out of it. And Niou had to get up to do a lap around the room.

And then he sat back down on the bed. "Sorry, I actually don't remember what the point of wanting to talk to you originally was," he said with a laugh, running a hand through his hair before he clenched his fingers together.

Akutsu had always suspected Niou had been through something that created the touch-phobia, but like his own past, it was something they'd never talked about. Until recently, at least, when Akutsu had actually opened up. And weirdly enough, he wanted to make sure Niou knew he could talk if he wanted.

Not that Akutsu expected it of course. But at any rate, he took advantage of being one of the few people Niou didn't totally cringe at and flung an arm around Niou's shoulders, pulling him close. "I won't pry. But if you ever wanna talk about it. I'll listen."

Niou did actually jump at the sudden touch, too caught up in lingering thoughts and holy shit his heart. He shifted Akutsu's arm off from his shoulders and okay, time for another lap around the room. "Maybe one day you'll match me in the level of annoying prying and you'll get it out of me," he said with a tight smile. "Change the subject please."

Oof. Okay, he really should've expected that, probably… Such an idiot, always managing to step in it. But he watched Niou pace around the room in silence; he knew what it was like to have something you wouldn't talk about easily, or to just anyone, and he'd hated it when Niou pried. So, no. He'd never be annoying and pry about it. He'd made the offer, and he wasn't going to take it back, whether Niou took him up on it or not. Instead, Akutsu racked his brain to try and think of something else to talk about. Anything. Anything at all. Come on, brain… "If you had to become an inanimate object for a year, what would you choose to be?"

The sudden question surprised Niou into laughter and oh, that was so unexpected. What a random question. He sat back down on the bed and purposely squashed next to Akutsu to show that the arm rejection had been a one off. "An inanimate object…" he frowned through the laughter that was still bubbling through him. "An old school tungsten filament lightbulb? Useful when needed but also burns out eventually, usually at inconvenient times… oh no wait, that's what sort of inanimate object I am." He was still clearly a little out of it. "Maybe I wish to be a useful LED light instead."

Well. That worked, apparently. It was literally the single most random thing that came to mind…but it got Niou's head in a better place. "...A lightbulb. Really? That's it?" Akutsu questioned, arching an eyebrow as he lightly bumped his shoulder against Niou's, his own way of showing he wasn't upset about having his arm thrown off. "Out of all the things in all the universe, you'd go for a lightbulb?"

"I'm actually a fairly humble, simple person, I'll have you know," Niou said, reaching to hold onto Akutsu's hand because that was nice. "It would have to be an interestingly placed lightbulb at least, where I could observe things from." He clasped Akutsu's hand in between his own two, and then frowned. "God my emotions are just all over the place right now, this is actually awful. I'm so sorry. I'll be back to my annoying self tomorrow," he complained.

Akutsu let Niou do what he wanted with his hand. "Don't worry about it. You saw me in a pretty bad state not that long ago. I'm sure as hell not gonna give you crap about not being your usual self right now." He actually really hated that Niou had seen him like that, but deep down he knew he wouldn't be able to hide it forever. "So. What's an interesting enough place for your lightbulb self to be?"

Akutsu was so weird, was what Niou was taking away from this. Or in a weird mood at least. It made him want to poke and figure out what had caused this nice Akutsu Jin who actually asked awkward questions and tolerated Niou being in a strange mood. "... In the main engineering lab of the UEA," he said instantly. "Not because I want to work there, I think I'd die. But out of curiosity about what they're doing in there. Maybe steal some ideas." He frowned. "Why are you so nice to me?"

"Considering how dodgy the UEA is these days…they're probably comin up with some weird-ass shit." Like androids to replace people or…well. Who the hell knows. "That's one place I think I'd rather avoid…" Akutsu gave Niou a sideways look. "What, suddenly I'm not allowed to not be an asshole?"

“Who knows, maybe I would’ve been one of them if I’d agreed to it when they first tried to recruit me,” he said with a bit of a laugh. “I thought about it, for like a day.” Niou twisted to rest his chin on Akutsu’s shoulder, tentatively moving his arms to rest around his waist in a loose hug to see if he could get away with it. And purposely leaned his weight forward a bit to lean against him. “No, just trying to figure it out for future reference. It’s not bad.”

Akutsu arched an eyebrow. "They tried to recruit you? …. That's a bad idea. All around." Niou was too much of a wild card. And…despite it, he didn't seem to be the kind that would go along with corruption. Maybe more like do something insane and drastic to expose it…. Or not. Who the hell knew with that guy. Maybe that was just what Akutsu liked to think. "I'm just in a mellow mood. I'm less of a dick that way," he shrugged.

"Yeah, when I was 18." And just the idea of being in the military made him laugh. Seeing Hiyoshi call people "sir" and actually have to care about rank made it even funnier. Definitely not something he could do. The acceptance of the hugging was quite nice, except Niou was now stuck there, since he didn't want to admit that maybe he'd gone a bit too close, but also didn't want to risk just breaking the hugging permission completely. "I see." Niou closed his eyes. "… It's not bad. Weird, but not bad."

"I'd say I doubt you'd pass a psych eval, but then I look around at the local menace and gotta assume they don't even bother with those." Akutsu absolutely could not imagine Niou in uniform. It was just…twilight zone weird. "Well. Don't get too used to it. I don't intend to stay this mellow for long."

Niou shrugged. "If I can convince multiple therapists that I'm fine and recovered from whatever woes I had that made me get dragged there in the first place, I can pass a psych evaluation." Which, was a little concerning, now that he said it outloud. He exhaled slowly. "I actually still like you as an asshole, you know. If you suddenly stopped being horrific to me, I think I'd be quite weirded out and lonely. And isn't that a terrible thing."

"...That's actually disturbing. Because you're clearly not and I'm pretty damn sure everyone knows it, they just don't say shit." Akutsu was kind of guilty of that too, which…might be a part of why he humored Niou as much as he did. "It's only weird because you haven't seen it before. Personally…I'm kinda hoping it sticks."

Niou just grinned. “That’s just because you’ve actually seen my honest side and know what I’m really like. I faked from the very beginning with therapists and went through my whole recovery, it’s a very long process.” And sometimes he did think about his parents and silently apologise. He blinked and tilted his head slightly at Akutsu. “... Sticking… in general? Are you suddenly going to be not-an-asshole to everyone?”

"See, that's just too much work. I don't know how - or why - you'd bother keeping it up so long." Just the thought of that made Akutsu tired. "I mean, it's not gonna make me suddenly a nice guy, or anything. I'm still an asshole, especially if provoked, but…" he sighed and shrugged.

“For fun.” And to see just how convincing he could be (very convincing, at least once he’d hit double digits). Niou grinned at the thought of his early therapists… he wondered if they were still practicing or if they’d given up. He frowned in confusion and just stared at Akutsu. “Are you getting lonely, Jin?” he asked. “Careful, if you show too many people your nice side, you’ll be absolutely overrun with new people wanting to be friends with you and I’ll… get jealous.”

"You have the weirdest definition of fun." Seriously. Fucking around with people like that for fun? Who in their---well. Okay, Akutsu had done a little of it too, now and then, and he'd gotten some kicks. He'd just never held it as long as Niou had, from the sounds of things. "It's not like that. I just… It's weird. I don't know how to explain it." He turned and looked at Niou, brows furrowed. "Jealous?"

“I find ‘normal’ things fun as well, just so you know,” Niou said, looking amused. “And I was going to have to go to therapy regardless, so I might as well have made it fun for myself. It was a good challenge, to see how long I could go for. Trying to keep my story straight etc etc.”

It was definitely weird. Perhaps Akutsu had fallen into the same realisation a lot of others had, that he was stuck here for 5 years with the same people and there was some benefit to finding people to get along with. Niou just smiled back at the look he was getting, his arms tightening slightly in the hug. “Yes, very jealous. I’ve put so much work into getting you to soften up and like me, I’d be so jealous if someone else took advantage of that.”

Akutsu just rolled his eyes and shook his head. That was definitely some Niou-logic right there. Seriously weird, the kind of thing no normal person in their right mind would bother with. "Oh, you put the work in to get me to soften up? Funny, I thought all you did was piss me off and I must be some kind of sadist to have gone this long without punching you in the face for it." He kept his tone it's usual annoyed, gruff self, but there was a slight hint of a teasing smirk on his face.

"Yes, it's been months of effort put in. So many insults and threats tolerated. So many rude accusations." Most of which made Niou laugh, and really, eventually Akutsu would have seen they had no effect and stopped. He stared at Akutsu's neck as he thought. "Besides, you might turn into a grumpy asshole again eventually and scare people off again. Who knows how long it'll last."

"...Says the guy who tried to pimp me out for friends." Akutsu reached over and pinched Niou's side for that. "I can't believe you actually did that. …I don't know why I can't believe it, because it's definitely your kind of bullshit, but I can't." It did make him wonder, though…what if that stupid post worked and somehow Akutsu not only ended up with a new friend or two, but even end up… No. Not going there. For his own sake.

Niou jerked at the pinch and that was uncalled for but then started laughing. "Hey, it worked, didn't it? You started talking to people beyond just… me." And really, Niou had 99% done it just to get a reaction out of Akutsu to make himself laugh. And that had worked rather beautifully as well. "I'd be like, oh you were still so crabby with them and that was good because it didn't make me jealous… but then that might be me trying to make you be nicer to people to purposely piss me off and then it's just reverse psychology…."

"I talked to people that weren't you before that stupid post." Okay, granted, not nearly as much or as often, but still. He'd talked to Red and Weirdo a couple of times before. And a handful of others, although Akutsu wouldn't be able to name names if pressed. "You…do realize me being nice to people or not has nothing to do with you, right?"

Niou rolled his eyes and poked Akutsu in the side before settling back into his loose hug. "No Jin, I absolutely think your entire world revolves around me, which is why you followed me to this stupid planet." He snorted just at the idea of it. "I just know that sometimes you do things that you think will purposely tick me off when you're trying to be an asshole. And sometimes I capitalise on it. And I was joking just now and playing it up, but apparently you're having trouble reading that. Sorry."

He let out a deep sigh. "Maybe I should just have a sign that lights up or something, so you know when I'm being dumb on purpose."

"Okay, okay, you don't have to be a dick about it." Akutsu rolled his eyes and pinched Niou again, just for kicks. "You should absolutely make a sign like that, though. …Although I have the feeling it would be constantly lit, so….might not be as useful as it sounds…"

“Found out where I’d run off to and just… followed me across the universe to another planet entirely so I wouldn’t leave you alone and lonely again~” Niou teased, because Akutsu deserved that for the pinching. “That’s called obsessive love, Akutsu Jin.” He narrowed his eyes and abruptly bit Akutsu on the shoulder, breaking away from the hug and hopefully snapping them both out of this weird mood.

"No love at all. I thought you were dead, remember?" Akutsu elbowed Niou sharply for biting him. "Go give the hickeys to your boyfriend, you ass. If he comes at me thinking you're cheating I'm gonna beat you senseless."

“That’s just what you told me,” Niou said with a smile, teasing a bit. He laughed and rubbed at his side, leaning away from Akutsu a bit. “Why would Tachibana care about something like that?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “He cuddles with his best friend in bed, who I know he’s had sex with and I’m like 60% sure he still harbours romantic feelings for, deep down.” Niou paused with a frown and slight head tilt as he said that, the idea sounding much different now that he’d said it aloud. Nevertheless, he plowed on. “And, he was the one that set the boundary between friends and… more, as sex only. We could still kiss and ‘fool around’ and be friends. So he can hardly talk.”

Akutsu literally facepalmed. "You've really never been in a relationship even remotely like that, huh." Less a question, more a statement. "You gotta lot to learn about stuff like that. Like that you're not okay with the whole friend situation on his end as you seem to think you are." He noticed that frown. "And the lines between friend and 'more', as you put it, are a lot less defined than you might think. It's not that simple."

Niou just gave Akutsu a flat look. “I didn’t have friends until a few weeks ago,” he said looking annoyed. “Except for Yagyuu, but that’s a mess.” That maybe they’d be tolerating enough of each other to unpack when they got around to Niou needing his mandatory psych evaluation. His frown deepened. “I’m just following the ones that Tachibana set when he first asked to try this. If he actually has different ones, he should have made that clear. Besides, he wouldn’t come at you for it, he’d just probably go off and make sad faces.”

"You might need to talk to him, see if those boundaries have changed. Relationships of any level are fluid. They start out one way, and sure some of 'em stay that way, but some of 'em shift and change. It's why some fall apart, some get closer… Just because he said that was the line then, doesn't mean it's still the line. And you've spent a lotta time together, gotten to know each other more. Might be a good idea to check in and see if those lines have shifted." Akutsu realized Niou probably didn't know just how hard this had to be on Tachibana, all of Niou's weird lines and limits and touch difficulties and…well. Everything.

Part of Niou hated when Akutsu got all lecturing about relationships at him, and then the other part hated how much he focused and listened to it, filing away the information. “And what, when the lines shift too far and I want to vomit from how restricting they are, I negotiate?” Niou ran a frustrated hand through his hair and dramatically flopped back onto his bed with a grumpy noise. “Relationships are dumb and annoying. I just want to go back to being overworked and sleep deprived and not thinking all day about other people.”

"You can, I guess. And that'll probably help weed out who's worth it and who's not. Some people won't budge from the lines, others will work with ya. But…hopefully, it won't feel restricting if you're with the right person." Akutsu just shrugged. It was all so different for each person, and each pair, that there was no one right way to do things. "...Being overworked and sleep deprived should not be life goals."

Niou dragged his hand down his face, still frustrated. "No you don't get it, Akutsu. He's too nice. If he thinks something's upset me, he'll backtrack and just try keep me happy. So then I have to chase it down and agree to it and it's so manipulative it's the worst. I hate his stupid sad face so much."

He glanced at Akutsu. "They're fine life goals when I've got 5 years to go. Need to cram as much in as possible, you know. Although I'm going to cut down my volunteering hours a little I think. Maybe take a day off here and there, be daring."

Akutsu's brow furrowed. "You should be happy. You both should, that's kinda the point." And yeah, compromise was a necessary thing, but…it shouldn't feel manipulative. "Gimme an example." He wanted to encourage Niou taking a day off, but the relationship thing felt a bit more important.

Now that he'd started, it was difficult to stop talking and complaining to get it off his chest. "Like his stupid neck biting thing, right? Because he really likes doing it and wanted to keep doing it and didn't want to plan it. And I just mentioned that maybe I'd like them to stay under my shirt so people at work weren't staring, and he got all 'I can stop if it bothers you' and sad facing at me and I ended up just caving because I know he's too nice to actually be selfish." Niou ranted and dragged his hand down his face again. "And he mentioned that he wanted to try me sleeping on top of him but oh no, forget I said that! And then kept trying to misinterpret when I hinted at it again later…"

Akutsu listened and kind of just….stared at Niou. Seriously? Most of this…sounded like what a considerate partner would do? Respecting Niou's boundaries, and lack of experience… It took a minute, but Akutsu couldn't help himself, first chuckling a little, then getting a bit louder. "Oh Niou," he managed in between hearty chuckles. "You're an idiot."

Niou stared at Akutsu and kept staring as he kept laughing. That was… rude and uncalled for. "What?" He grabbed a pillow and used it to poke Akutsu in the back. "How am I an idiot?"

It took Akutsu a few moments to settle himself down enough to answer, and in the process he grabbed the pillow and used it to somewhat gently shove Niou in the face. "He's not being manipulative. At least, I doubt it. More like he's most likely trying to respect your boundaries and not push you too far too fast." Granted, Akutsu hadn't had a lot of interaction with Tachibana, but his general gut feeling about the guy was that he really was a genuinely nice human being. "The only ulterior motive he has is wanting to make absolutely sure he has your consent for things before they happen. To make sure you are comfortable with how far or how fast." And as weird as it felt to say it, Akutsu added, "That's the kind of stuff any partner worth keeping around will do."

Niou pushed away the pillow and ended up hugging it to his chest instead, looking over it at Akutsu's face and considering his words. It was… weird hearing Akutsu talk so reasonably, he decided. Weird and it made him feel really dumb as he ran through a few more Frustrating Tachibana interactions in his mind. "I hate him," Niou said finally and grumbled as he pulled the pillow over his face. "And I hate that I have to spend far too much mental space trying to figure him out."

"Do you really, though? Hate him? Or is it more that you hate that it's something new that you don't understand as well as other people do? Because I doubt you'd do those things with someone you actually hated." At least, Akutsu hoped not. Because that was kinda twisted, otherwise.

Niou suddenly missed asshole Akutsu who would make rude comments out of him just to get a rise. This advice giving, thoughtful Akutsu was giving him hives. Especially in person. "I hate that… he just wants to give me everything for free," Niou said finally, so reluctantly. "And that what he does want in return… is really hard. And I'm going to get addicted to the free handouts if I let him keep it up."

Akutsu couldn't help a chuckle. He could tell Niou was uncomfortable…and he just had to keep pressing. Just because. "What's he want from you?"

Niou sighed at the question and just pulled the pillow over his face again. Maybe he should just get up and leave…but Akutsu would then just be left unsupervised in his room. "Physical touches. He likes those a lot and I have… limits on how many I can give a day." And often had to go secrete himself away in his office after to get rid of tingly feelings. "And I guess a returning of his feelings? It's awkward."

Akutsu reached over and ruffled Niou's hair. One day, maybe, Niou would tell him why he didn't like being touched. In the meantime, though… "Lots of people like touches. But corny as this sounds, communication is important. If you hit your limit, tell him." From what Akutsu had observed about the guy, and what Niou had told him, Akutsu was pretty sure Tachibana would respect it. "As for the feelings…be honest with him about that too. Tell him where you stand. Keep him updated if things change. That's all you can do. If you end up liking him back the way he likes you, great. If not," Akutsu shrugged, "at least you won't be stringing the guy along."

Niou frowned at the hand in his hair, his eyebrows scrunching together and going cross eyed as he looked up at it. “It’s so intense though, him getting all ‘I love you’ at me. It’s been like two months, Jin. How the fuck do you get that way in two months? And to me, what?” He was going down his spiraling thought process again and talking to himself. “And then like… what if I did tell him it wasn’t going to work out and then I have to live with the awkwardness for the rest of the years here? Surely it’d just be better to go along with it until my contract is finished and then… I dunno, vanish and move to Mars or something, if I haven’t perished already from my body collapsing, I don’t know.”

Akutsu listened to Niou's rambling with patience, letting him get it all out. It sounded like Niou was overwhelmed, combined with his always-on brain jumping to worst case scenarios. Technically, the only one who could do anything about it was Niou himself…but once Niou paused, Akutsu took his hand out of Niou's hair and smacked the back of Niou's head instead. Not hard, but enough to be a wake-up call.

"Listen to me, Masaharu, and listen good. If it's too much too fast - and it sounds like it is - take a step back. And talk to him. There's no black and white right or wrong when it comes to relationships, of any kind. If how things are now isn't working, change them. And whatever you do, do NOT fake it. If it's not working, and you can't fix it, it's fine to call it quits. Yes, it'll probably be awkward and uncomfortable for a while, but either you'll find a way to be friends, or you kinda fall apart for good, and either way, you move on. Ending things now, if needed, will hurt less than you just vanishing. Besides. Who's to say he wouldn't try to track you down?"

Niou was just about to start talking about - about the logistics of his new plan to vanish to Mars and the many benefits of it - but his voice died at the hit. And then he stared at Akutsu in shock at the actual lecture he was being given. And then averted his eyes as the talk went into uncomfortable territory. “... Did you just call me by my given name?” was his first response and then Niou shook his head to chase away the question from the forefront of his mind. And before he could say anything, his regular niggling doubt crept back into his mind. “... Jin, what if I get actually addicted and reliant on everything and he cuts me off?”

"I called you by your name to get your attention and make sure you listened," Akutsu replied with a shrug. "And he won't. Not without good reason. Even if for some reason he proves himself to be that kind of asshole, it's not like there aren't other people. Would it suck to lose him, yes. But it's not like he's the only person in the world." And if Tachibana proved to be that kind of asshole, Akutsu was definitely not above fucking him up for it.

Well it had definitely worked to get his attention. “It’s why I only let him give me one meal a day,” Niou said, frowning away the thoughts about ‘other people’. Especially coming from Akutsu, who was still closing himself off from things. “I want to make sure I can still feed myself even if he rips the rug out from under my feet, you know. But then he got actually angry when I reminded him that I’m capable of looking after myself…” Niou just made an annoyed noise and ruffled up his hair . “Fuck I guess I have to talk to him at some point. Not his birthday though, that’s a shit thing to do. I’ll just… go along with things for his birthday and then… try and think.”

"Maybe he got angry because your definition of looking after yourself is sleeping under a desk for like three hours at most, working yourself to death, and existing on that weird caffeine juice," Akutsu pointed out because, arguably, yes, Niou could take care of himself, but in a way that probably would really leave him dead by thirty. "But that's another thing you should add into the list of things to talk about."

“I actually was genuinely fine. It was the expedition with the stay in isolation that hurt and threw things off balance.” Fucking Yagyuu, as he thought about it. Niou sighed and okay, he needed to make a list of things to talk about, so that he didn’t get distracted when he finally got around to it. “... Thanks for listening to me whinge,” he said finally. “And for uh, giving me relationship advice I guess?” Niou laughed. “I’m going to have to come ask you for sex advice one day, maybe.”

Akutsu stared, and then shifted himself to get off the bed. "And that would be where I nope the fuck out. I already know way more about your sex life fhan I ever wanted, so keep me out of the rest of it. You can figure that shit out on your own." He reached over to ruffle Niou's hair one more time. "Seriously. Watch some porn or something."

Niou laughed and ah, that was a hilarious idea. “I’ll take some detailed notes and let you know when I’ve watched some,” he said with a smile, pushing Akutsu’s hand away from his hair. “I have actually been doing research though, I’ll have you know. I have a collection of notes.” In his quiet time while he lazed around with the chickens. “Are you off to do something productive? I better not find you in the bar drinking your liver away later, or we’ll have to do another repeat of this and we’ve bitten each other enough for one day.”

"I'm off to do…anything but this," Akutsu remarked with a shrug. "I've had my fill of acting like a reasonable decent person for a while." Maybe he'd try to pick a fight with someone. Or get laid. …or both. "And no more biting me, unless you wanna sport a black eye." He made his way to the door, waving at Niou over his shoulder. "And make sure you talk to your boyfriend." With that, Akutsu saw himself out.