[Log] Yuushi, Yanagi

[spacewillow]

Who: Yuushi, Yanagi
What: Two men have a dodgy late-night conversation
Where: Mess hall
When: After the second expedition teams set out, but before Inui’s arrival



Yuushi remembered when his life was simple. When he lived on colonies and outposts and at the Academy, before his mind became so impossibly warped that he could barely recognise himself anymore.

Which was to say, Sanada was asleep in their room with the yukata that he wore to bed falling open and Yuushi had a deadline to meet so he’d escaped to a corner of the mess hall that was fairly deserted in the dead of the night, but instead of writing he was caffeinating and being suitably melodramatic.

He noticed that it was nearing about an hour past midnight and he had written exactly three lines of the chapter he was supposed to be finishing tonight. Bounty Hunter: Sin and Sinuous had to be sent to his editor by the end of the month if he was going to make his deadline and all he had for the big sex scene was the vague idea that it existed. Time for more coffee.

Before Yuushi could get up, a cup of steaming matcha appeared on his right, unmistakably genuine by the scent wafting from the jade-green liquid.

“Working late?” inquired the source of the tea, one Yanagi Renji, who was for once not in his UEA service uniform, and was instead dressed rather casually in a loose-fitting yukata. Which looked remarkably similar to the one Yuushi’s roommate owned. He sat down across from Yuushi, holding a cup of tea of his own in hand.

Yuushi was proud that he didn’t jump, not at the sight of the sudden cup of tea or of Yanagi in a yukata that was all too reminiscent of the reason Yuushi had fled his room. He gave the man a little nod and smile of greeting. “In a manner of speaking,” he said, savouring the tea, and chuckled to add, “I’m surprised to see you actually have time when you’re off duty.”

“Contrary to popular belief, I actually have off days,” Yanagi replied, slowly sipping his own tea. “I am also very good at time management.” He observed Yuushi for a few moments, noting his obvious fatigue and dark circles.

“Are you having a stressful time lately, Dr. Oshitari?”

“I don’t doubt it,” Yuushi remarked. He was yet to see Yanagi drop the ball with regards to the goings on on base. “You should be a poster child for the UEA’s Operations Training.” Not that he thought for a moment that Yanagi was the kind that actually toed the UEA’s line…

“Stressful?” he asked. “Well, perhaps a little. There are certain deadlines with regards to my work that I am… shall we say… straining to meet at present, which is why you find me attempting to replace my blood with caffeine in the dead of the night.”

“Thank you for the compliment,” said Yanagi graciously. He took great care to cultivate his competent, yet slightly sketchy image. Exactly what the UEA wanted, but not perfect enough to draw too much attention.

Watching Yuushi type, Yanagi had more than an inkling of what Yuushi’s deadlines were, considering the man didn’t seem the type to work overtime for his day job.

“I see you could not work in the room,” he observed. “Is Genichirou being too distracting?”

Yuushi had nearly forgotten in the midst of his own spells of melodrama that Yanagi was aware of his unfortunate and completely unnecessary Sanada-induced… condition.

“Yes,” he admitted, taking a sip of his tea and allowing it to clear his head. “I am starting to consider that my lab may be compromised in some way, I wa never one for this manner of,” he tsked. “Distraction. That said, I do like trying to find new spots to work in, Sanada or no. It keeps the mind active, and one can’t write -” he coughed, “- reports and such if one is unfocussed.”

Yanagi simply raised an eyebrow.

“Dr. Oshitari,” he said, setting down his tea on the table. “Given our long and intimate relationship, surely there is no need for such deception between us?” He crossed one long leg over the other, somehow managing to preserve elegance and modesty with long years of practice wearing yukata (though the image was somewhat spoiled by his fuzzy house slippers). “That said, I would suggest the rest areas outside Command and Security, or the first floor lobby area near the elevators. Those are usually quiet at night.”

As expected, Yanagi was aware of ‘Murasaki Yu’. It wasn’t, in Yuushi’s opinion, particularly hard to put together if you had the right information and a mind to put it together (the use of the same kanji from his first name was a narcissistic clue anyway). He raised his tea in a quiet toast of acquiescence.

“I do suppose my favourite person on base deserves the courtesy,” Yuushi said with a smile. “And I appreciate the tips. I tend to see the occasional stray security officer wander in here during their night shifts, and while I am never one to shy away from a midnight chat with a charming stranger, there are times I can’t afford the… distraction.”

Did Oshitari know he was probably the most popular author on base, wondered Yanagi. Perhaps it was time to advance the book club agenda…

“If you find yourself in a desperate situation, I can find you a locked room with a bucket,” offered Yanagi. His mother was eagerly waiting for the next novel, and Yanagi would be remiss in his duty as a filial son if he did not do his best to ensure Murasaki Yu’s continued productivity.

Yuushi snorted a laugh into his tea. “A locked room with a bucket?” he echoed. “I will consider it if I need a suitable mindset for a novel about a slow descent into psychosis.” And then, raising an eyebrow. “Should I be concerned that you have access to such a space?”

“I have access to all kinds of spaces,” replied Yanagi cryptically, with a smile of his own. “If you’d like to experience the inside of a cell for…inspiration, I’m sure Security would also be happy to oblige.”

“Have I ever mentioned that you are a fascinating, frightening man?” Yuushi laughed, only half joking . “And since you are clearly aware of my particular genre of choice, you will understand why it’s probably not the most conducive setting for it…” He trailed off thoughtfully. “Although I suppose if I wished to include an element of bondage, it could be inspirational…” He would have to ask his editor if that was something his readers would enjoy.

“You have a silver tongue, Dr. Oshitari, which translates well to your writing,” Yanagi responded with a laugh that was decidedly not reassuring at all. “Jailors entranced by their beguiling captives are not uncommon scenarios,” he added, recalling some of the more dubious literature he had come across over the years. “And considering your target audience, I’m sure bondage scenes would be…well received.”

“I will take that, and your familiarity with my writing, as a compliment,” said Yuushi graciously. “I have been told that there are people who would appreciate more risque content than I have offered thus far.” He played a thoughtful finger along the rim of his teacup. “I feel as though this conversation is slowly inspiring me to set up an impromptu… what’s the appropriate term? Sex dungeon? … in one of the security holds. It may be somewhat difficult to explain, yes?”

“I’m sure Lt. Commander Byodoin would be amenable, if you brought it up,” said Yanagi, considering that he called Yuushi ‘Dr. Sexy’. He might even use it, himself. Perhaps with the safety consultant.

“If all else fails, there’s always VR,” Yanagi pointed out. There were all sorts of programs for personal use these days.

Yuushi dismissed the very inappropriate image of Lt Commander making… creative use of such a facility… filing it away for future reference. The thought of the conversation leading to setting it up was hilarious, however. “I am unfamiliar with the majority of the UEA’s budget heads,” he asked, not even hiding his laugh this time . “But do you think it could be classified as a recreational facility?”

He considered using the VR facilities on base and shook his head. “Call me a traditionalist if you will, I have never been one for simulated… experiences.”

Yanagi shook his head regretfully. “It would never be approved by Procurement,” he told Oshitari. “However, there are ways around this.” There were ways around everything. “For example, you could have a set up that is easily packed away, and just borrow the desired location as and when you need it. You could keep some people…in the know… perhaps, and they might help with the process.” Bribery always worked.

Yuushi hummed thoughtfully. “I do believe there are kits with a variety of… recreational tools… that could be purchased from a suitable vendor,” he said, mostly unsurprised that Yanagi had ideas on finding loopholes in UEA protocol. “It would be best to have people to take into confidence, considering how difficult it would be to explain plush handcuffs or a gag of some sort to a lay person.” Heaven forbid Kenya found them. That said…

“All this is merely hypothetical, of course. I am in need of writing space, not a bondage room - at least for the present,” he added as an afterthought.

“The locked room with a bucket is still available,” Yanagi reminded Yuushi cheerfully. “I can arrange for meals to be delivered, so you can concentrate on your manuscript.” He decided to stop teasing Yuushi for a moment and offer a more practical solution.

“You could also do what Shinji-san does, and lease a workspace from us. There are a few empty offices for this purpose.”

“Sometimes you sound suspiciously like my editor did before I shipped out here,” Yuushi said warily. “They kept threatening to lock me up to meet deadlines.” Which he would have a much easier time meeting if it weren’t for the fact that he also unfortunately needed to meet research deadlines at the same time.

“That does sound somewhat less… dubious,” he said. “I could say I need the space for research, I suppose…” He would definitely get more writing done with zero distraction from unfortunately attractive roommates or the actual thing he was being paid by the UEA to do.

“Perhaps I am your editor,” responded Yanagi, amused. “Working two jobs must be quite difficult, Dr. Oshitari. Please do take care of your health.” Yuushi would probably lose the title of ‘sexiest PhD on base’ if his eyebags continued to develop.

He looked down at his wrist, tapping something out on his communicator. “I am sending you the forms to apply for a workspace, if you feel that would suit you. Please let me know if I can assist you further regarding that matter.”

“In the frightening chance that this is true,” Yuushi said carefully, “I deny any and all accusations of procrastination.”

He had to admit that Yanagi was right, though, his erratic sleep schedule was going to catch up with him sooner or later. There was only so much that concealer could do, after all. “Goodness Yanagi, you really do care,” he said with a fond little smile. It wasn’t often that people noticed his tendency to overwork in between bouts of laziness. “I should have more time to sleep once this deadline is met. The novel needs to go out by the end of the month if it’s to meet publication, and I have unfortunately hit upon a minor case of writer’s block…” The half-snake aliens that the Bounty Hunter protagonist was meeting in this volume just refused to be sexed up, much to Yuushi’s annoyance.

“Always on top of your paperwork, hm? I will take a look at it if it comes to it. I may owe you a debt of gratitude,” he added with a wink.

Yanagi chuckled at Yuushi’s clear apprehension at the suggestion of himself being Yuushi’s editor. “Of course, Dr. Oshitari, your frequent calls are purely for work purposes,” he teased. He considered if it would be too presumptuous of him to offer to help with Yuushi’s writer’s block, and decided it couldn’t hurt.

“Perhaps you might find it helpful to discuss, what, exactly, the block is?” he suggested. “I hope you do not think it is too rude of me to ask.”

“Well, I don’t see why work and pleasure can’t be mixed at times,” Yuushi told him in the ‘expensive phone sex operator’ tone he often used in his bored calls to Yanagi. “Especially if someone as delightful as yourself is involved.”

Since Yanagi had asked about his writer’s block and talking about it might help get past it, Yuushi brought the holoscreen of his computer back to life and scrolled to the chapter before his current blank page. “You are aware of my pansexual bounty hunter protagonist, I’m certain… In this book he’s inadvertently stumbled into a marriage contract with a lamia, a manner of half-snake alien, and he may only leave once the union is… consummated.” He waved a hand. “My protagonist seems willing but his partner refuses to cooperate in any of the scenarios I can come up with.”

He had never actually spoken about his plots to anyone besides his editor. It was, surprisingly, somewhat awkward.

Yanagi had heard this sultry tone of voice so many times that Yuushi’s honeyed words just slid off him like water off a duck’s back.

“Yes, I am familiar,” he said, resting his chin on his hands as he thought. “Just to confirm, which end is the snake? The traditional lower half, or something more…unusual?” Snakes… Yanagi thought of boas, and that one acquaintance who liked to do inadvisable things to himself with a tie. “Perhaps some… erotic constriction?”

“The lower half,” Yuushi confirmed, somewhat unsurprised at the complete lack of reaction to his innuendo voice since Yanagi heard it often enough on calls. A pity, though, he thought Yanagi would have a cute blush.

The possibility of constriction had, shockingly, not occurred to him - and this was perhaps where his astrozoology degree betrayed him because his thoughts had entirely been focussed on making cloaca sexy - and nodded slowly. “Hmmm, I do believe you’re on to something,” he said. “Being restrained can, of course, be an erotic experience in itself, and there are those who find a thrill in the suggestion of… danger… In this case from a - you will forgive my alliteration - seductive, serpentine stranger.”

“I’m glad I could be of some assistance,” Yanagi replied, smiling slightly. He could guess, more or less, what had stalled Yuushi in the first place. “In the case of less than … conventionally appealing … alien anatomy, perhaps less is more when it comes to descriptions of the copulation itself.” He wasn’t very familiar with how snakes mated, but the fact that they laid eggs suggested… something perhaps not particularly tantalising.

“You’ve been more help than you realise,” Yuushi said. “I was told that there was an interest in…” His editor had used the very crass term ‘monsterfucker’, and Yuushi refused to lower himself to that level. “Yes… anatomically unconventional partners for my protagonist, which as I can see you’ve correctly assumed, somewhat clashes with my day job.”

However, he was a romance novelist, innuendo was his bread and butter. He should stop trying to write while at the labs, it was clearly affecting his creativity. “You’re right, of course, my readers will hardly be interested in scientifically accurate genitalia… I assume.” He laughed. “Of course, this could be solved if I switched the human and snake halves around, but somehow that seems more terrifying than tantalising.”

“While personally not to my taste, I seem to recall a period of time where lizardmen with lizard heads and tails but men’s torsos and…lower halves… were popular,” mused Yanagi. The thrill of the unknown, and the taboo of sex with another species. All recipes for a potential bestseller. Still, a snake headed voluptuous woman (with or without arms? Yanagi’s imagination could not decide) seemed a bit too exciting for the average reader. “I’m glad I could help, though.”

“To… each their own, I suppose,” Yuushi said carefully. “Every kink has its own audience, after all.” His own taste in literature - that he read, not wrote - would probably surprise his readers with how vanilla it was, all about great romances and pining and not nearly about the sex.

“I’m in your debt,” he told Yanagi, with complete seriousness. “If there’s some way I can assist you, you only need ask. Ideally, something different from my calling you less, we both know that is somewhat unlikely,” he finished with a quiet laugh.

“Of course I would not dream of depriving you of our daily sessions ,” Yanagi agreed readily enough. He slanted a sly glance at Yuushi. “I do not currently require assistance, though I would not object to some … help… with Genichirou.”

"Good man," Yuushi said gratefully, which was all he managed before Yanagi's next statement made him choke on quite nothing at all.

He coughed to clear his throat. "Good grief Yanagi," he said, carefully wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "One would almost assume you were… pimping out… your closest friend."
Yanagi had once in a conversation suggested something similar, but Yuushi had assumed it to be a joke at the expense of his own attraction. But the sentence just now didn't sound like a tease…

“You need not sleep with him, though you are welcome to try,” Yanagi replied calmly. “The wall needs to come down at some point, so I’d at least like to start chipping at it.” They had at least five years on Izanagi, and Yanagi would rather his best friend not have to spend all of it single and celibate.

Ah, so Yanagi was being serious after all. "I won't deny that, attractiveness of his physique aside, the Great Wall of Kanagawa presents a unique… challenge, for lack of a better term. The man seems rather immune to the usual flirtation techniques, mm?" Or at least was not particularly receptive to it, in Yuushi's experience. "Although you were right, he is a very affectionate drunk," he recalled the experience of having a very clingy Sanada in his proximity at Byodoin's party.

“Sadly, we can’t count on drunkenness every time,” said Yanagi. Ethical considerations aside … there probably wasn’t enough alcohol on Yomi to keep plying Sanada with. “He did a lot of sports in school, so he’s generally immune to his physical space being encroached upon, or casual touching. He’s likely to see that as camaraderie. If I had to make a suggestion… gallant gestures, or classically romantic gestures, might stand a chance.”

Yuushi raised an eyebrow, an amused smirk twisting his lip. "Now you know you're speaking my language, Yanagi," he remarked. "I am nothing if not a connoisseur of the grand classical romance, but…" The challenge of being on a remote outpost aside, "You'll forgive me if I'm a little wary of an attempt to woo the man with roses and poetry… Not least because Dr Yukimura might not appreciate his hard work being used for such a purpose."

“Poetry, calligraphy, serenades, there are a whole host of options,” said Yanagi pragmatically. “In essence, I would like Genichirou to understand he is attractive and desirable. If you require assistance in procuring any… props, I will see what I can do.”

The image of himself serenading a confused Sanada came unbidden to Yuushi’s mind. It was perhaps not as romantic as it would have sounded in words. But he finally understood the motivation behind Yanagi’s ‘favour’. At least, he understood what Yanagi was requesting. The motivation in itself was somewhat surprising. “Surely Sanada must be at least aware of his own attractiveness? Even objectively he is -” he bites back on the hyperbolic ‘Adonis’ and settles for, “- one of our finest specimens of the male physique.”

“He takes my compliments for granted,” sighed Yanagi. “He will not take anything from me seriously. Compliments on his physique he takes solely as appreciation for his care of his body. Tell me, what else should I do with him?”

Yuushi nodded, inwardly more than a little appalled. He hummed thoughtfully again, considering how he could go about this. "I understand your suffering now," he said. "And, as you are aware, am not averse to attempting to…" a cough "Woo Sanada, in a manner of speaking. However," he added, because there were myriad ways this could all go terribly wrong, not least that he would face the ignominy of being completely rejected. "However, should the whole thing blow up dramatically in my face and lead to my being reported for sexual harrasment, I only request that I be fed to the baby sandworm and Byodoin's blob in the name of science."

“Don’t worry, I will at least delay the paperwork and bury your body under a red rose bush,” consoled Yanagi. He smiled slightly. “Jokes aside, if at any point it becomes uncomfortable for you, a tactical retreat is always an option,” he added. “Many men and women have come up against the Great Wall of Kanagawa and failed, so you should not feel ashamed if your efforts do not yield the desired results.” Yanagi himself calculated the success rate at about 22%. “I rest my hopes on you now, Dr. Oshitari.”

“I’ll be sure to write myself a suitable epitaph,” Yuushi said with a dry laugh. “My skin is thick enough that I can handle discomfort, although admittedly my ego may not. That said, this is as much out of my own… interest, as yours, although our motivations are decidedly different.” He gave Yanagi a little playful salute. “I will do my best not to let you down,” he said. “You are the reason my protagonist is getting laid tonight, after all.”

Yanagi laughed. “Happy to be of service,” he said. “I look forward to a long and fruitful collaboration between us. As such, I would be pleased if you would call me Renji.” He liked Yuushi well enough, and despite the latter’s… exasperating phonecalls, he thought they could be good friends, eventually.

“Indeed,” Yuushi said warmly. Yanagi was sharp as a tack and possibly one of the best collaborators on base, he was glad to have him on his side, so to speak. “And of course, I extend the same courtesy to you, Renji. I much prefer Yuushi, anyway… See? I knew I picked the perfect favourite months ago,” he added with a wink, only half joking. “I’m already looking forward to our next chat.”

“Then, till our next exchange, Yuushi,” Yanagi agreed, standing and collecting their used teacups. “I’ll leave you to your writing. I’m sure you will call if you encounter another writing block, or think of a new pickup line.” It was well past his usual bedtime, but Yanagi was quite pleased with the results of this late-night outing. “Good night.”