[LOG] Tachibana and Niou

[chickens]

Who: tachibana and Niou
When: Evening, 3rd August
Where: Tachibana and Tooyama's room
What: kiss kiss fall in love


Niou just had to set a few jobs to finish up while he was gone and then he was stripping off his coveralls and heading up to the rooms, feeling anxious and grumpy, and too tightly wound from the… snippy argument over the comments. He ran a hand through his hair and god but he hadn’t had enough time to think things through and align all his thoughts and he really should have just let them wait for another week.

Oh well, it was too late now and Niou just kicked the door once when he got there. “It’s me.” No knock.

Tachibana wasn’t one to get angry very often anymore, but he was at his breaking point. He couldn’t tell what he had done to make Niou think he was being sneaky, and he figured waiting a week would just make it worse. He frowned at the thud on the door. “Come in.” He sighed. Might as well get this over with.

He should have taken longer to come up to the room, was Niou’s next thought as the door slid open. And then it was just too late to back out as he went into the room and yes, Tachibana definitely looked irritated… and the door closed behind him.

“How would you like to do this conversation, Tachibana?” he asked, keeping his voice light, as though he wasn’t feeling strangled and stretched right now. “Standing and looking awkwardly at each other on opposite sides of the room?”

Tachibana wanted to stop being angry right then and there. He shouldn’t have reacted so strongly… still, he was on edge. “...No, Let’s sit down.” He went to sit on the edge of his bed. He wasn’t sure how this conversation was going to go, and he was kicking himself a little for not being prepared.

Niou went to get the chair from Tachibana’s desk to pull over to the bed, straddling it backwards so he could have the chair back between them as a bit of protection, and to rest his arms on the top of the back. “Do you want to start, then?”

Tachibana gripped the edge of the bed. “...I had some questions I’ve already asked you. Why don’t you answer those, first?” Maybe if he knew what Niou was thinking, he could figure this all out.

Niou opened up the last set of comments and skimmed through to look at the set of frustrated questions Tachibana had sent at him. … Right. He did not want to answer those straight away. Niou rested his head on his arms, hiding half his face as he looked carefully at Tachibana’s face. “When did the basic attraction start turning into love, Kippei?”

Tachibana paled. That was not the question he was expecting. “...It’s rude to answer a question with a question…” He said softly. He lowered his head. “How can you be so sure it’s love?”

Oh that was an interesting change in Tachibana’s face. Niou’s eyes narrowed slightly and he kept the lower half of his face carefully hidden. “Everyone else seems particularly sure it is. Perhaps I’ll rephrase then - are you in love with me, Kippei?”

Well, here we were, Tachibana thought, He knew it hadn’t been much time. He knew that he was probably crazy. And guilty. He felt so guilty. “...Yes.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper. There was no going back now.

Niou was silent for a long time, watching Tachibana with a very carefully shuttered expression. And then oh, he should probably say something. “I see.” And then he fell back silent again. “When?” was his next question when he finally spoke again.

Tachibana ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not sure.” Tachibana said softly. “...But I think I realized it when you were in isolation…” He bit his lip. “I was so worried about you and I couldn’t stop thinking about you…”

Well, Tachibana seemed to have forgotten about the questions that he’d asked at least. Niou’s eyebrows drew together and he was watching Tachibana so closely. Well, at least things were lining up neatly with what Niou had guessed at, after he’d had the whole thing shoved quite abruptly at him by multiple people. “And the meals? That wasn’t just you doing your nutritional doctor thing. What was the purpose of them?”

Tachibana couldn’t look at Niou. His throat was tight. “Part of it was just my job. It’s my job to keep everyone healthy, should they seek out my services… which you did, by the way.” Tachibana took a deep breath. “The other part was just me wanting to help take care of you.”

Yes, and there was the link between the food and emotions that he’d been expecting. Niou had to check his expression, make sure that it was still carefully shuttered and closed off as he watched. “And the extra food? And the deliveries down to engineering? You said I only needed one meal to get the required nutrients for the day. And I could have stopped by the kitchen.”

Tachibana grit his teeth. “Why are you making it sound so terrible?” He asked harshly. “You were working hard, and I just wanted to help.” Tachibana shook his head. “If I had known you would get so pissed off about it, I never would have done it.” Niou was hard to read right now. Tachibana knew he was doing it on purpose.

Oh, he had to remind himself that Tachibana was a very open person, he wasn’t used to not having emotions out in the open. And the detached part of his mind just registered that it was fascinating to see the obvious anger. “I’m not pissed off about it,” he said, shifting slightly on the chair. “I just think that long-term, it’s a very sneaky method to get me and my health dependent on you.”

Tachibana's head shot up at that and he glared. "Is that seriously what you fucking think is going on?" He stood up, his back rigid. "There are other people here, you probably know how to cook, and if not that, there is always the replicator. Do you seriously think that’s what I'm trying to do?!"

The angry outburst was shocking and Niou stared, suddenly very tense even though he didn’t actually move. “If you were more like me, maybe. Use your food as a way of expressing your feelings, deliver them personally with the hugs and kisses, get me reliant on them even though I know that they’re expressions of love, keep sneaking in extra ones… it’d be very hard to give that up one day, wouldn’t it? It’s only been just over a week, and it’s already hard.”

Tachibana was tense himself. That hadn't been his intention at all. He just got caught up in it all because Niou seemed to be okay with it. "That wasn’t my intention…" Tachibana said. "But perhaps it is better to stop, then." It hurt to even suggest. "If it seriously makes you uncomfortable… I don't want that. I can give the meal plans to someone else…" He had been asked to do a job, after all. "If I was manipulating you in some way, though I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."

Oh, now Tachibana’s emotions were shifting and he was getting… sad? Niou let out a frustrated sigh and reached down to pull one of his shoes off, chucking it at Tachibana hard. “Stop assuming I’m uncomfortable about this,” he said, the anger finally shattering his mask. “I don’t know why everyone assumes I’m uncomfortable or why I’m apparently the one leading you on.” He threw his other shoe at Tachibana for good measure. “Fucks sake, I should have just snogged you like Chitose’s stupid sister told me to.”

Tachibana snapped. He quickly closed the distance between them, grabbing Niou by his shirt. "You were the one that kept being all weird about everything! I thought you were uncomfortable because you looked uncomfortable. I don't know where everyone got it in their idiotic heads that you were leading me on, because I sure as hell wasn't getting any hints of you wanting to fuck or anything." He let go, letting out a puff of air through his nose. "I gave you that line because I figured it was safe."

Niou froze at the very aggressive move getting him up off his chair and he grabbed onto Tachibana’s arm, staring wide eyed at him through the anger. And the moment he was free, he took some very quick steps back, putting much needed distance between them. “You were the one being weird about everything,” Niou snapped back. “Because you kept going on about how you were worried about losing friendship and then I know you didn’t want to go too far because it would be too hard to go back to being friends, but then you didn’t think I was giving mixed signals and I don’t know, okay? I’m absolutely shit at reading people, apparently.”

"God, imagine, Niou Masaharu, someone values you enough as a person to not want to lose your friendship! How terrible." Tachibana was embarrassed he had let his emotions get the better of him. "What would you have done if I told you I was in love with you? That I wanted to be with you?"

He missed his chair and hiding his face, Niou decided as he chewed on angry words and tried so hard to keep his emotions in check. Even letting his hair fall in front of his face wasn’t doing enough. “I don’t know, Kippei,” Niou said, letting the angry sarcasm roll off his tongue. “I’ve never had anyone say it to me before. Why don’t you try it properly and see?”

Something about that statement was like a slap in the face. A realization. Tachibana had let his fears of losing Niou send all sorts of mixed signals. No wonder Niou thought he was being sneaky. Tachibana closed his eyes for a moment. It was selfish. In his worry that he was going to lose Niou, he was pushing him away with kindness. He opened his eyes and held out his hand like Niou had to him several times before. "Not like this. Let's calm down first."

Niou glanced at Tachibana’s offered hand and then to his face, trying to figure out his thoughts. “You’re not going to grab my shirt again?” he asked, keeping his hands very much in his own space. “I’m quite calm already.”

"I won't grab your shirt again." Tachibana said, lowering his hand. "I'm not calm at all." He admitted. He went and sat back on his bed. "Masaharu, I…" He was so anxious. Why did it have to come to this? "You're right. I'm in love with you. I want to be with you. I can't stop thinking about you."

Niou silently watched Tachibana move away, untensing a little bit as he had room to breathe again. He was not calm, despite what he’d said. He was sick and anxious feeling.

He twitched a little at the sudden confession and he looked away from Tachibana. “Oh.” Hearing it said properly didn’t make it any easier to come up with a reaction. “... I don’t know what I’m meant to say here,” he admitted finally.

Tachibana chuckled wryly. "Well, there's usually, like, three options." He looked at the ceiling for a moment. "Sorry, I just want to be friends, Fuck off, or I love you, too." If there were other options, Tachibana didn't know them.

Niou looked thoughtful at the options and stared away from Tachibana to think through them. “I still don’t know. Not the second one.” He sighed and dropped to sit on the floor and lean against the wall, the tension suddenly bleeding out of his body. “What would change?”

Tachibana was relieved that Niou didn’t want him gone. "Not much, really. I mean, I guess I would kiss you more often. Eventually, if you wanted it, we could get more intimate…but mostly, I just wouldn't hold back saying how I feel about you."

Niou fidgeted uncomfortably as he listened to Tachibana speak. “... Would you hate it if I asked to try it?” he asked finally. “I don’t know. I need to… figure it out. But I promise I won’t think you’re being sneaky and trying to get me weirdly dependent on you so I don’t vanish when I leave Izanagi.”

"To try it? You'll have to explain. You mean dating?" Tachibana sighed. "I didn't tell you to force you to feel one way or the other. And I know you've survived this long without me." He raised an eyebrow. "Do you make a habit of vanishing on people?"

“No like… try just doing what we have been doing. With the changes you mentioned.” Since really, it wasn’t like much changed at all. Niou looked extremely guilty at the question and looked away, curling in on himself a bit against the wall. “I have before.” He chewed on the words and oh hell, he should just admit it. “I did it to Hiroshi twice. When I left home originally I just didn’t show up to school one day suddenly. And then when I ran into him again a few years ago.”

"That's basically what dating is, Masaharu." Tachibana pointed out. He didn't like Niou looking so…small. "Can I ask you a question?"

“Oh okay.” That sounded far too simple and stupid now.

Niou was so, so tempted to just say no to the question because he had a very bad feeling he knew what it was going to be but he forced himself to sigh and jerked his head in agreement. “Sure.”

"Let's say we do this. We have a relationship…and 5 years from now, you're done with your contract and you don't want to stay here…" Tachibana said. "Would you just up and leave without telling me, or would you give me the choice to go with you?"

Niou’s first hysterical thought was that he didn’t know if the UEA would let him go in the first place after five years but he clamped down on that thought and squashed it into the ground. “There’d be the 3 month shuttle ride back first, it wouldn’t be me instantly disappearing,” he said, more to himself.

He sighed and held out a hand to Tachibana finally, wriggling his fingers because he was not going to get up from the floor. “Five years is a pretty long time. But hypothetically... I guess if you wanted to come be a nomad with me it could work? Or I don’t know, you set up somewhere and I can wander back occasionally. And you can fatten me up before I set out again.”

Tachibana moved and went to sit on the floor with Niou, holding his hand. "So you wouldn't vanish on me. Just because it happened in the past doesn't mean I have to expect it. I can afford to have a little faith in you."

Niou gripped Tachibana’s hand in his own. “Five years is a long time away,” he said again. “You might get sick of me and my meltdowns in a month or so,” he said with a shrug. “Or I dunno, find someone who makes you worry less. I’d hate to see your hair after dealing with me for too long, you might go all grey.”

"I'm going to hug you." Tachibana said, pulling Niou closer and wrapping his arms around him. "Maybe we shouldn't worry so much about 5 years from now and just worry about the present." He suggested. "...and I've thought about that line I drew."

Oop, that was like a 5 second warning and Niou took a moment to readjust and not be completely tense. He exhaled slowly and some of the stiffness went away, and he patted Tachibana vaguely on the arm. “Just… I don’t know, treat me however you want and I’ll see how I feel about it.”

Niou raised an eyebrow at the added on comment and oh? He laughed a little. “Did seeing under my shirt make you reconsider or something? Was it that appealing?”

Tachibana laughed softly. "I still find you very attractive… but I think even if we decided that we didn't work romantically, I wouldn't stop caring about you. I realize now that drawing the line at sex was just me projecting my fears onto you."

Okay the hug was getting a bit awkward now and Niou had to pull away. But he was happy enough sitting next to Tachibana, holding onto his hand again. “I thought it was a fairly logical line. Since you wanted to be sure we could remain as friends,” he said, knocking their hands against Tachibana’s thigh.

He paused. “Would you say that me punching you in the face was what made you like me in the first place?”

"Well. Now I'm sure I would still be your friend no matter what…" Tachibana wasn't bothered by the change in position. And then Niou asked that question and he groaned.

"Please don't believe everything Miyuki says." He sighed. "It did make me want to be your friend, but that's not why I fell for you."

How much of Tachibana's attraction that he'd hidden had coloured the initial start to their friendship, Niou vaguely wondered. And then the love thing impacting the middle step… "We'll see. You might be absolutely horrified if we did anything beyond kissing, and can't look at me after that. You barely lasted 6 seconds of touching."

He laughed and elbowed Tachibana. "Good. I was worried there I might have to make punching you a regular thing. Keep up the attraction, you know."

Tachibana squeezed Niou’s hand. "Honestly, I couldn't handle the touching because I wanted more." He sighed. "As crazy as this sounds, the thing I'm most attracted to is your enigmatic nature."

Niou shifted uncomfortably where he sat. "Maybe I was a bit grumpy that you stopped," he said, looking off to the side. It had been a strange feeling to have, mixed with the nervousness. "Other people find it very frustrating trying to read me. Or me keeping secrets."

"...So I can touch you more? You'll tell me when it's too much?" Tachibana asked softly. "It's not usually frustrating…but I do have a hard time between you being overwhelmed and you feeling pleasure…"

It was kind of crazy to think just a few minutes ago, the mood had been completely different and Niou had been tense for a very opposite reason. "... Just give me some warning, then sure." He looked embarrassed. "If I get overwhelmed, I'll tell you bluntly to stop."

Tachibana was pretty nervous himself. "So an 'Oh God' or a noise isn't an automatic stop?" Because those had been the things that stopped Tachibana in the past.

Niou shook his head. "I'll physically move away if it's too much." Rather like how he wanted to just crawl away and die from embarrassment right now. "Okay?"

"And I won't take it personally if you do." Tachibana nodded. "I'm sorry I got angry earlier." He never liked to just leave things like that without owning up to it.

He blinked at the sudden apology and knocked their hands against Tachibana's thigh again. "It's fine." It had been warranted and… Niou turned away to look at the wall very much away from Tachibana. "... It was kind of attractive."

Tachibana raised an eyebrow and then smiled softly. "Good to know. I'll be sure not to hide anymore of my emotions." He squeezed Niou’s hand. "I curse a lot more than I have been." He joked.

"That's fine." Niou was silent for a few moments before he turned and narrowed his eyes at Tachibana. "So you were hiding things from me and being sneaky. I knew it." He leaned in a little closer, but he was at least smiling a bit so Tachibana could know he was joking. "Pretending to be all nice and gentle to try and lure me in. Until I'm too stuck."

Tachibana laughed. “You caught me. Of course, my original end goal was just to be your annoying friend. I promise to be a completely open book, even when I’m angry.” Tachibana quieted for a moment. “..I should probably tell you everything.”

Niou just looked confused. "I thought your original sneaky goal was to convince me a relationship was a good idea." And then go back to being friends if it didn't work out. Which… actually as he thought that… Tachibana had succeeded.

He sat back and moved their hands into his own lap, still confused. "Okay?"

Tachibana took a deep breath. “So, remember when we spoke about Chitose and I said he hadn’t ‘climbed my hair’?” Oh, this was hard. “What I meant was that he wasn’t in love with me. When we were 17, we….we were intimate. And I read it all wrong. I thought he felt the same…but the next day, he found out about this high school that had accepted me… that I had turned down because it was too far away…and just kept pushing me to go. I felt betrayed and that’s when I… I didn’t mean to permanently injure him, I was just so upset… but that’s no excuse…”

Oh. Niou fidgeted with Tachibana’s hand in his lap, carefully filing away that new information in amongst the small library of facts that he’d learned about Tachibana over the course of the last two months. “Was that… the same time that you used him as a pillow and hated it?” he asked finally.

It always amazed Tachibana how much Niou remembered from their random conversations. “...Yes.” Tachibana said. “I just thought you should know.”

“I see.” Well, it was nice to know that most of his wild guess about the history between Tachibana and Chitose was correct, from all the little hints they’d dropped. Niou was silent for a while, just turning Tachibana’s hand over and touching down his fingers. “... You’re not allowed to permanently injure me,” Niou said finally, not quite sure what else to say. “I have a shop to run after I leave here.”

Tachibana smiled gently. “I would never. I’m not a teenager anymore…” He gently bumped his shoulder to Niou’s. “Tell me about your shop.” This was the second time Niou had mentioned it, and now he was curious.

"Ah yes, and you've left behind the angry, violent teenage phase," Niou said. He turned his head to look curiously at Tachibana's question and then back to looking at their hands. "It was just a mechanics shop. I used to set up wherever I traveled to. It put a sufficient amount of food on the table and paid rent." Niou laughed. "It was called Uion⭐, because I was half hiding from my family but also not really."

“Ah, so that’s the origin of that name.” Tachibana chuckled. He wiggled his fingers as he thought. “...Is it too soon to ask the deal with your family?” If it was, that was okay. He was sure one day he would find out.

Niou frowned and held onto his hand again. "Yeah too soon." It wasn't like Tachibana couldn't just go ask Yagyuu a bout him or anything, he was sure Hiroshi would be an ass and tell everything. But Niou had a weird level of faith that Tachibana wouldn't. "Too soon to ask about anything… pre-16 years old, I think. Maybe 18, I was pretty horrific at that age too, you'd probably worry too much. Get more grey hairs."

Tachibana nodded, understanding. “No worries.” He promised. “I’m sure that someday you’ll be ready to talk about it.” There was no way Tachibana would betray Niou’s trust. “Good to know I wasn’t the only one who was a terrible teenager.” He chuckled.

"Oh I was an appalling child too," Niou said cheerfully. "My poor parents, they put up with so much." He abruptly sobered up and the laughter vanished. "Do you mind if we keep this a secret?" He asked suddenly, squeezing Tachibana's hand again.

Tachibana’s gaze softened. “Is it going to be a secret forever?”

Niou shook his head and just nudged Tachibana with his elbow. "I'm already being heckled by people about it. Just don't need it getting worse. Eventually. If… when I figure things out."

Tachibana nodded. “Alright then.” He smiled, giving Niou’s hands a squeeze. The correction of if to when gave him a little hope. “It’ll be our little secret for now.”

He fell silent again, rather content to just sit and fidget more with Tachibana's hand. And then finally spoke, elbowing him in the side a bit harder than normal. "One meal a day. And not sneaky extras through surprise visits or through Chitose Miyuki."

“Ow.” Tachibana frowned, but soon he was laughing again. “Okay, okay. Not even a dessert?” He pouted.

Niou threateningly pinched Tachibana's thigh. "No dessert." And then paused. "Once a week at most for sneaky dessert." He pinched Tachibana's thigh again. "Stop trying to bargain, I won't cave any more."

Tachibana winced at the pinches, but just kept laughing. “Okay, okay…” He fell silent for a minute. “...Is it a sneaky dessert if I eat it with you once a week?” Yeah, he was just trying to rile Niou up now.

Niou smacked Tachibana lightly on the leg. "Yes that still counts, sneaky Tachibana," he said crossly. "Stop trying to find ways to spoil me with food. Or I'll pinch you higher up next time."

Tachibana snorted and sighed. “Okay, okay, I promise.” He grinned. “...what about the hugging and kissing? Are those still okay? If I can’t feed you, can I at least hug you?” Yes, Tachibana Kippei was an affectionate man. Quite passionate about the things he liked.

Good. Niou sighed went back to hand holding. "Yes those are fine. As long as you give me warning beforehand. And in private." Because he didn't want Yanagi sending him the PowerPoint again… or an updated version or something.

“Of course.” Tachibana said, settling into a peaceful silence with Niou. It wasn’t uncomfortable for him, though. He wondered if the food was garnering more attention, and that’s why Niou was so uncomfortable with it? That was the only real thing that was bothering him, but he figured he may be reading too much into it. He looked at his communicator and sighed. “It’s almost Kin-chan’s bed time.”

Ah, the pains of a roommate who you actually had to worry about sleeping at normal hours. "I need to get back to work, anyway." And maybe snap less at what he was doing, since he was less annoyed. "... You can come down there if you want. After you get Tooyama to sleep. And go for that nighttime run."

Tachibana smiled. “Maybe I’ll do that, if he doesn’t exhaust me.” He squeezed Niou’s hand. “Can I have a goodbye kiss? Just in case?”

Niou looked at Tachibana for a long moment and moved a little closer. "Depends. Are you going to bite me again if I say yes?"

Tachibana smirked. “Depends. Do you want me to?”

Oh that was a new expression. Niou just smiled back and put a hand on Tachibana's shoulder to pull him in. "Yes please. And I've been sufficiently warned now, so that's fine."

Tachibana closed the gap between them, kissing Niou with a passion he had been holding back in the other kisses. As requested, he also made sure to bite Niou’s bottom lip as they kissed.

Oh, definitely different kisses as well, Niou noted and he made a pleased noise as he leaned back against the wall and pulled Tachibana closer. Yes okay, this was nice.

Tachibana placed his free hand on the wall, pressing as close as he could. The noise Niou made just egged him on, and maybe he was losing himself a little in the kiss, but Niou’s hand in his kept him grounded from doing anymore. “I think that may have been the best one yet…” He whispered.

Niou looked a bit overwhelmed as Tachibana finally broke away and he nodded in agreement. And then pulled him back in to continue making another quite satisfied sound because yes, this was definitely a good idea.

Until Niou's brain rather foggily remembered that Tooyama was meant to be getting back soon and he bit at Tachibana's lip in annoyance. "You need to go run." Not that it convinced him to move his hand.

Tachibana moaned at the bite but parted with an exasperated sigh. "I do…but in a week, I'll be in here all by myself. You'll make sure I'm not lonely, right?"

"I work night shifts," Niou reminded him, very reluctantly making himself pull away because otherwise he was just going to get greedy. "... I can probably take a day off. Maybe work a day shift if I want."

"I don't work a set schedule." Tachibana said. "So let me be selfish and match yours for two weeks." He stole one last kiss before finally pushing himself off the floor. "Unless that's not allowed?"

Niou slowly stood up as well and oh, he needed to get his shoes back from where he'd thrown them at Tachibana earlier. "If you want to really fuck your sleep schedule up, sure," he laughed, sitting down on Tachibana's bed to pull his shoes on. "I'm also going to be sneaking back into the chicken farm when the expeditions get going, so. Less free time."

Tachibana grinned. "I've been wanting to spend more time there. I miss AlmondBiscotti." He saw her a few times and she still seemed to remember him, which made him happy. "We can even sleep under your desk if you want."

"I'm worried if I don't get the volunteer guy out from there soon, they may kill him," Niou said, laughing to himself a little at the thought. "I don't think you'll fit properly under my desk with me, Kippei. I do like breathing. And besides, we already checked that I can sleep with you in the room."

"Yeah, we can't have anymore…um…carrots in the chicken coop…" Tachibana chuckled. "...so, are you saying maybe I could convince you to crash in here every now and then?"

Niou just laughed again at that reminder of his ridiculous tale. Sure. He glanced at Tachibana and raised his eyebrows. "If you're not careful, I'll spend my 16 hour meltdown sleeps in here and you'll have nowhere to go. And then you'll be stuck with me when I'm fully rested."

"Sounds like a deal." Tachibana laughed. Yeah, that was the worst threat ever. "I like you no matter what." Tachibana looked toward the door, expecting Kin-chan to burst in any minute. "You're always welcome here."

… He had not expected Tachibana to actually agree and Niou blinked at him in surprise before standing up. "You are very biased. And haven't seen the awful parts of my personality." He did smile a bit, joking… just a little bit. "Okay! I need to go before I give into greediness and push you against a wall or something."

"Yeah, with our luck, that will be when Kin-chan comes in and he'll think it's wrestle time." Tachibana grinned. "Alright…I'll talk to you later… have a good shift."

Niou nodded and hurried out the door and oops, nearly ran into Tooyama who was running to the room. And he could hear excited, very loud chattering as the door shut and oh god now he had to finish his shift and try get back into work mode.