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Who: Chitose and Marui
When: Monday Sept 19th
Where: Chitose’s Office
What: Baby’s first therapy session
After going out of his way to demand that Chitose give him therapy, Marui sure had put off scheduling the actual appointment. First he was too tired from medication, and then he was too busy being high on life and his newly returned energy levels, but eventually the nightmares started sneaking up on him again and ruining more nights of sleep than Marui would like to admit. Down to the medbay he went, finding his way to Chitose’s office and knocking on the door. He didn’t know exactly what to expect from the hippy doctor, but there was no way he could be worse than Dr Yagyuu.
Chitose had been glad to see Marui schedule his appointment, even if it had taken him a while. Seeking therapy unfortunately often had stigma attached that made people reluctant to do it, but it really was an important tool in the medical field. He had spent the earlier part of the day rearranging his office in anticipation, tucking his chair under the desk and bringing in two large bean bag chairs. He also had a diffuser set up with a diluted lavender oil, to help with any anxiety Marui might have.
When he heard the knock, Chitose smiled and opened the door. "Come on in! Make yourself comfortable."
Bean bag chairs. Of course the hippy doctor had bean bag chairs. Marui flopped down into one, wanting to be scathing but… okay it was pretty comfy. Not a bad start to their meeting, all things considered. He tapped his fingers on the chair, listening to the way the beans moved. “I haven’t done one of these before, so I don’t really know how to start. Everything here’s confidential, right?”
Chitose sat down in the other bean bag chair, shifting around a litte until he found a comfy position for his long legs. "Well, honestly, I've never done one of these either, so we'll just wing it. And yes. Everything you say to me here is completely confidential." Depending on how things went as their visits progressed, he may end up asking Marui's permission to consult with Dr. Yagyuu, but that was a bridge he'd cross if he came to it. "So. Where do you want to start?"
“The PTSD thing is probably a good place. The head injury is totally fine, by the way. Dr. Atobe cleared me, I’m not brain damaged or crazy or anything like that, so write that down.” Dr. Yagyuu had also cleared him on the mental faculties test, but the fact that he had been detained and tested at all still left a sour taste in Marui’s mouth, and his defensive tone made that abundantly clear.
"Oh, I'm aware. I did go over your record before you came. Just doing my due diligence." Chitose had wanted to make sure of that, because while the head injury was more up his alley to fix, it wasn't why Marui was here. "So. Is it just the crawlers? Or is there more to it?" He'd read up on the mission as well, but he wanted Marui's take on it all.
“Good.” Marui eyed Chitose suspiciously, still not entirely trusting him not to pull a ‘ps you’re crazy’ despite being the one who reached out. “It’s mostly the crawlers. Usually it’s the little ones in my dreams, like they keep coming and I can’t stop them all or I can’t move and they get all over me and eat me, but sometimes it’s the big one. Those are the worst ones.” Marui shuddered, pulling a pack of gum out of his pocket and struggling with the wrapping before finally getting a piece out. “Dr Yagyuu says he’s got juice for it, but…” But he’d seen what that stuff had done to Kirihara.
Dr. Yagyuu's juices… Chitose kept his mouth shut on that topic. He was as skeptical of them as most people were his naturopathy, but he wouldn't speak against them unless he had proof. "How often do you have these nightmares? How many nights a week, on average?" Lack of sleep certainly wouldn't help anything…but it was probably better to combat the source of the nightmares than the lack of sleep…or do you address the lack of sleep first, so he'd be more mentally stable to address the source?
“Less now that I’m not on the medication, but I don’t know if that’s because I’m less tired or because I’m not sleeping 24/7. Maybe both?” Marui shrugged. “Now it’s four or five times a week, probably. More if someone makes me start thinking about it.” Like Niou with his descriptions. Fucking Niou.
Chitose nodded. "All that sleeping probably didn't help. More sleep means more chances for dreams, in general, so of course the chance of nightmares goes up too." Hmmm. "When you have a nightmare like that, what do you do? Do you try to go back to sleep at all? Or at least, try to rest?"
“Depends how bad they are. Sometimes I check my comm for a while then go back to sleep, worse ones I end up playing video games for a few hours. If I go back to sleep right away the dream just starts where it left off, so I have to distract myself for a while.” Luckily enough for Marui, Kirihara slept like a rock thanks to the juice. “I try to play calm games at least. I was using Animal Crossing for a while but then a tarantula got me so that one’s out the window now.”
"Ew, yeah, starting up where it left off sucks," Chitose agreed, having had a couple of those of his own, even if they probably hadn't gotten him nearly as worked up as Marui's would've. "And those tarantulas are so creepy. I can barely make myself catch the one needed for Blathers' museum. That and the scorpions…." He laughed a little, totally getting off topic. "It's usually recommended to avoid devices when trying to sleep, though. Have you tried reading a book instead?"
The look of complete unimpressed disinterest on Marui’s face said it all. “Books aren’t really my thing. And you can’t really keep up with weekly comics out here…” Serialized manga, his poor abandoned love.
Chitose couldn't help laughing a little at how truly bored Marui looked at the thought of books. "There are good ones out there, I promise!" He grinned. "Okay, well…there's also options for aromatherapy, to help you relax at night. Or things like chamomile tea. Unfortunately there's no guarantee any of it will keep the nightmares away. That's one limitation with any kind of medication or herbal remedy. It might make you sleep but it can't control what your mind does once you're out."
Marui sunk backwards into his chair, sighing dramatically. “This is so dumb. I should have become a neurosurgeon and invented insertable dreams and become a gazillionaire that way.” It’s hard to tell how much Marui was joking about this, considering the size of his ego. “This whole colony thing is a nightmare.”
"Well…Colony life isn't for everyone, that's for sure. But… inventing insertable dreams? For one, you'd probably still be in medical school. Which isn't cheap, by the way. And you'd have to have some kind of…I dunno. Engineering or computer expertise as well, depending on how you went about it…years and years of research and trial and error and…there's no guarantee you'd succeed." Chitose had to admit it was an interesting thought, being able to somehow give someone pleasant dreams…but the human mind was a very complex thing… "I would very much wish you luck if you tried to pursue that."
Marui waved off all of Chitose’s points lazily, like he was brushing off flies. “I’d figure it out, it wouldn’t be that hard. I mean, you got through med school, right? It’s not impossible.” The casual way Marui blew bubbles while asserting med school was simple almost made it more insulting. “What did you do before here, by the way? You didn’t already work for the UEA, did you?”
Chitose's eye twitched a bit at the implication that either he was stupid, medical school was easy, or both. If this was back in his teenage years, he'd probably at very least kick Marui in the shin. But he firmly reminded himself that was unprofessional, and simply shifted his legs so they were almost under him. "Before here? Medical school. And while I was doing that, I got my degree in Naturopathic Medicine." He just smiled as he spoke, determined to let Marui's attitude slide off him.
Surprising how he managed that with legs that long, Marui was fascinated. Like a stork folding up to fit into a nest or something. “So fresh out of school, cool, cool. What made you wanna come all the way out here? Desire to explore new places? Undying devotion to the UEA cause of universal colonization?” He was probing for Chitose’s alliances here, and he wasn’t being particularly subtle about it.
They were incredibly off-topic. But, that was okay. Chitose had told Marui he wasn't a professional therapist, and had told him he'd be willing to have talks with him even if they might not hold much therapeutic value… And a first visit was as good a time as any to get familiar with the patient. "Well. I do like wandering and seeing what new things I can find. This is the first time I've wandered quite this far from home, though…as I imagine it is for most, if not all of us. But…I found out my best friend was out here, and we hadn't seen each other in a while… so I figured why not?" He shrugged. "What brought you out here, Marui?"
That was a sound enough answer. Marui would take it for now, but Chitose wouldn’t be getting the same amount of openness in return. “It’s my life’s dream to make promo videos for the UEA billions of lightyears from Mars.” Yeah, he wasn’t even trying to make it sound believable.
Chitose chuckled. "Liar." There was no way that was the truth. He did know a few UEA people, but none of them were that devoted to it. And Marui's tone was far from convincing. "You know, these talks won't work if you aren't absolutely candid with me. And as a reminder, everything here is completely confidential. So. Try again."
Ugh, irritating. Marui chewed in silence for a minute, contemplating his options before deciding to test the water just a little bit more before he jumped. “You’re friends with Tachibana, right? Would you say he trusts you?”
Chitose arched an eyebrow, curious where Marui was going with his questioning. "I like to think he does. We were extremely close, when we were younger. Trusted each other with our lives, pretty literally," he chuckled, thinking of all the beatings they took and dished out as teens. "Even with the distance between us, I don't have any reason to think that's changed."
Well, that was about as good as it was going to get. Tachibana was a trustworthy guy, and if he’d chosen Chitose as a friend, that probably meant Chitose was trustworthy as well. Sigh, here went nothing. “Alright, give me some paper, I’ll write it out.”
Paper? In such a digital era? How unusual…and potentially telling, depending on what it was Marui wrote. Luckily, Chitose's bean bag was close enough to his desk that all he had to do was reach over, easily grabbing a pad of paper and a pen. Without a word, he handed them to Marui, very curious to see what story he would choose to tell.
The first thing Marui did was rip a piece off the pad. He’d seen enough old detective movies to know that imprints were a thing. Then, using his leg as a desk, he wrote a quick note, keeping things simple. Signed a contract with UEA to avoid court + jail time. Folding the paper in half, he then handed it to Chitose.
Chitose took the paper and unfolded it, reading the handwritten message. And oh that was interesting, and now he had so many questions… But if he asked them now, how likely was Marui to answer them? Considering what presented like paranoia in the way Marui actually disclosed it….probably not very. "I'll admit I have a lot of questions," Chitose began, actually making himself get up from the bean bag. "But I won't ask them right now." He hunted around on his desk for the small box of matches he kept there. When he found them, he crumpled up the paper, tossed it in his wastebasket, and then lit a match and tossed it in as well, making sure the paper caught fire to get rid of the evidence. "Though I admit I'd like it if you someday trusted me enough to tell me all on your own."
Marui watched as Chitose got rid of the evidence approvingly. Definitely the sort of thing that increased his trust. “It’s not as interesting as it sounds, it’s mostly just annoying. But if you wanted to know why I picked you instead of Dr. Yagyuu, that’s why.”
Chitose stayed standing and leaned back against his desk, letting the paper burn fully, even shaking the wastebasket to stir the embers and encourage it to burn into as small of pieces as possible. Once he was pretty sure it wasn't going to get any smaller, he took the spray bottle he used on some of his herbs and sprayed the inside, making sure the embers were good and extinguished and no longer a fire hazard before he put the basket back where it belonged. "Are you afraid he'd harm you, somehow? Or report all the confidential conversations back to the UEA?"
“The latter, mostly, but the first isn’t out either. I’ve seen the way his juices work, I don’t want that to be me. And since he doesn’t have a problem listening to orders when people decide out of nowhere I need a forced mental evaluation…” Marui trailed off, shrugging. Chitose was smart enough to figure out the implications there. After all. He’d been to medical school.
Chitose nodded as he settled himself back into the bean bag. "I suppose I can see that." After all, there were some situations in which certain degrees of what was said in confidential therapy sessions was allowed to be discussed outside those sessions. If the patient presented an imminent harm to someone, or was a convict up for parole or release from a psychiatric facility… And Chitose himself wasn't crystal clear on how much was allowed to be revealed in those circumstances. "As much as I'd like to tell you you have nothing to worry about, I can't say that. I don't know Dr. Yagyuu particularly well, but he does seem to have a stronger connection to the UEA than someone like myself."
“Yeah. Plus he’s got a stick up his ass.” He had given Marui a fair mental assessment, but Marui still wasn’t about to trust him that easily after getting glimpses of his personality in chat. “Like, I know I sound paranoid, but what is it that the crazy people say? ‘It’s not being paranoid if they really are out to get you’.” Marui laughed, he knew he sounded kind of ridiculous. “It kinda feels good to tell someone about this. I’ve basically had to deal with people thinking I’m self-obsessed and worried over nothing this whole time and I couldn’t even defend myself.”
Chitose chuckled. Marui did sound paranoid, but he also wasn't wrong. The question was, were they really out to get him, now that they'd more or less washed their hands of him by tossing him out to Izanagi? "I can't really speak on it either way. I see both sides. And without knowing the UEA's standpoint on it, I can't say how valid your paranoia is or isn't. I've heard enough rumors about them to make me suspicious of some things, but I have no proof. Just as I suspect you don't have any actual proof they're out to get you…but you can't say for sure they aren't, either."
“You get it. You never know, right? Better safe than sorry. And can you really blame me for getting imaginative when they sent me out into the wild with Kin-chan right after he tried to wrestle me to death? You can’t tell me their mission team choices aren’t sketchy. I mean. Look at me.” Marui held out his arms, motioning to his entire soft, non-military self.
"I'm sure the UEA has their system for deciding who goes on the expeditions in which groups." What it was, exactly, now that was the question. And all Chitose knew is he wasn't privy to it. "There's still some limits to things, though. There's reasonable skepticism and caution, and then there's full blown paranoia. Having met Kin-chan…I highly doubt that the correlation between getting sent on an expedition with him so soon after being injured by him is anything intentional…on anyone's part."
Marui puffed out his cheeks petulantly, looking off to the side. “Yeah, I know that now. Getting mauled by him was just really scary, okay? He could snap me in half like a stick if he wanted to.” Even when he knew it was ridiculous, Marui couldn’t give up without at least a little bit of validation for his thinking.
Chitose chuckled softly at the rather childish pout. "I can only imagine…mentally he's a child, so I would find it hard to believe he harbors much by way of ill intent…but his strength is unreal, and his inability to sit still can definitely lead to problems. It makes me really glad Kippei's so good at wrangling him," he admitted. "But…how about, in the future, if you start to think someone's conspiring against you, come talk to me and get a second opinion? To try and keep things on the reasonable end of that spectrum?"
“He wouldn’t do it on purpose, but even on the mission he accidentally got us down that hole by digging too much. That strength is no joke.” Marui sighed. It was too bad, Kin was a fun kid. Definitely not 30, but Marui knew enough to keep his mouth closed about that. “I’ll tell you first next time, but you have to actually listen and not write me off immediately, okay?” He could tell Chitose was only offering to keep his concerns down to earth, but having someone to listen to him complain did sound nice, so Marui would take it.
"Of course," Chitose nodded. "Worrying about things can't always be avoided. But differentiating between realistic things to worry about and the wildly unlikely is important. It won't necessarily stop you from worrying about the unlikely things, but hopefully recognizing them as such can help at least minimize any anxiety that comes from them." Hmm…and speaking of anxiety… "I know you're not a fan of Dr. Yagyuu's juices. But what's your stance on traditional medicines and/or naturopathic remedies?"
“Okaaay.” Marui nodded along much like a kid listening to a lecture that was going in one ear and out the other. He wasn’t fighting the idea of his worrying being a problem, but he wasn’t exactly gung-ho about it either. “Like herbs and aromatherapy and stuff, right? Never tried it. Not too sure how good it’ll work, but I’m willing to try if you think it’ll help. At least, as long as it doesn’t taste terrible.”
Chitose chuckled a little. There was more actual science behind naturopathic treatments than most people believed, but he didn't think Marui would be interested in those details. "Basically, yeah… The good thing with a lot of these treatments is that they don't have to be taken orally, and those that do are usually in capsules like a lot of manufactured medications." He grunted a little as he stood up again and opened the big cabinet next to his desk. "How have you felt since you've been in here? Find yourself relaxing at all?"
It was still fascinating to watch Chitose stand up and go from approximately eye height to way above him. "I relax fine most of the time. I mean, not as relaxed as I was back home, but that's normal, right?" Especially with a 'back home' life as cushy as Marui's.
"I think so, yeah. I mean, unfamiliar place, unfamiliar people…and the whole 'can't just walk outside whenever we want' thing doesn't help any either…" Ah, Chitose missed that probably the most. And listening to thunderstorms… He sighed a little, mourning the fact that the closest he got to nature was the indoor gardens in a temp controlled environment with artificial light cycles and no wind or rain. "But I meant specifically since coming into my office."
"Oh. Yeah, I guess? I like the chairs, I need to get some from my room." Marui pats the bean bag chair fondly. Sure, Chitose probably meant more like mental relaxation, but… chairs.
"....." Well. At least some relaxation was better than none, even if Chitose had been trying to see how the lavender oil he'd set out earlier was doing. Perhaps he'd diluted it too much to have any noticeable effect. At least there didn't seem to be any negative effects like an allergy or something. "Hm. Well. Here's what I want you to do." He picked up a little roller tube of lavender oil and passed it over to Marui. "Lavender is one of the most common aromatherapy treatments for anxiety. If you feel yourself getting stressed out or nervous, roll a little of the oil onto one of your wrists. Then put your wrists together so it's on both, and then dab your wrists against your neck, right about at the back of your jaw where your earlobe sits, on both sides." He mimicked the motions he wanted Marui to use as he spoke, and after demonstrating putting his wrists to his own neck, he crouched down and put his fingers gently on the appropriate spot on Marui's neck. "Then just take some deep breaths."
Marui twisted the top off the tube and took a sniff. Interesting. "So… like this?" He copied Chitose's instructions, using the oil this time. He rubbed it into his neck, then sniffed his wrists again. "It's kinda nice. This is what's on right now, right?" Maybe he's not completely oblivious.
Chitose smiled. "Exactly like that," he nodded, leaning back against his desk, glad Marui had apparently noticed the lavender. "What I have diffusing in the room is a diluted version. Not as strong, which…also means not as effective. The roll-on you can keep with you, use a tiny bit or a larger amount, depending on what you need, and since it's a topical oil rather than a pill, you avoid the possible side effects than can come from ingesting it. Except for a potential allergy…so if you notice anything abnormal happening - rash, itchiness or redness at application sites, for example - contact one of us doctors immediately." There wasn't anything in Marui's file about it, but if he'd never tried it, then of course no reaction would have been observed or recorded. But if Marui had been highly allergic, he'd most likely already have exhibited symptoms just from being in the room, so he should be fine.
"So should I use it before bed or after I wake up? Like, from a nightmare." On goes the lid, and Marui pops the roller in his pocket. "Uh, and maybe you should check it won't mess with anything Akaya's on, since he's my roommate."
"You can use it for both, and during the day. It shouldn't cause drowsiness like this." Chitose made a quick note to message Yagyuu about his drinks, since Kirihara was using them and Yagyuu's recipes weren't public knowledge. Which in and of itself was shady. "I'll check with him as soon as I can and I'll let you know for sure as soon as I've had a chance to talk to him."
“Akaya’s out mining right now, so you’ve got a little while to figure it out.” In the meantime, Marui was going to stink their room up like so much lavender. He doubted Akaya would even notice, Marui did most of the tidying that the bots didn’t handle anyway. He’d probably think it was air freshener or something. “So, is that all the doctorly knowledge you’ve got for me today?”
Chitose smiled and nodded. "For today. I still have some research to do, to see how I can best help, but that can be worked in later. I think we made a good start today." He held a hand out and down, offering it to help Marui up from the beanbag chair.
Marui took Chitose’s hand, using it to haul himself off the chair. Yeah, that was the only bad part about bean bags. “Cool. Looking forward to next time, I’ve got sooo much crap to dump on you.” He laughed here– it was a joke. Probably.
Chitose laughed, smiling wide. "Well, that's what I'm here for, so next time, dump away! And let me know how that lavender works for you." He really had no idea if he'd truly be able to help, but he looked forward to trying.
That’s the other thing he liked about Chitose– Marui couldn’t even imagine Yagyuu smiling like that. He smiled right back. “You got it. See ya later.” And just like that, Marui was gone, leaving the medbay a little happier and a lot more floral smelling.
When: Monday Sept 19th
Where: Chitose’s Office
What: Baby’s first therapy session
After going out of his way to demand that Chitose give him therapy, Marui sure had put off scheduling the actual appointment. First he was too tired from medication, and then he was too busy being high on life and his newly returned energy levels, but eventually the nightmares started sneaking up on him again and ruining more nights of sleep than Marui would like to admit. Down to the medbay he went, finding his way to Chitose’s office and knocking on the door. He didn’t know exactly what to expect from the hippy doctor, but there was no way he could be worse than Dr Yagyuu.
Chitose had been glad to see Marui schedule his appointment, even if it had taken him a while. Seeking therapy unfortunately often had stigma attached that made people reluctant to do it, but it really was an important tool in the medical field. He had spent the earlier part of the day rearranging his office in anticipation, tucking his chair under the desk and bringing in two large bean bag chairs. He also had a diffuser set up with a diluted lavender oil, to help with any anxiety Marui might have.
When he heard the knock, Chitose smiled and opened the door. "Come on in! Make yourself comfortable."
Bean bag chairs. Of course the hippy doctor had bean bag chairs. Marui flopped down into one, wanting to be scathing but… okay it was pretty comfy. Not a bad start to their meeting, all things considered. He tapped his fingers on the chair, listening to the way the beans moved. “I haven’t done one of these before, so I don’t really know how to start. Everything here’s confidential, right?”
Chitose sat down in the other bean bag chair, shifting around a litte until he found a comfy position for his long legs. "Well, honestly, I've never done one of these either, so we'll just wing it. And yes. Everything you say to me here is completely confidential." Depending on how things went as their visits progressed, he may end up asking Marui's permission to consult with Dr. Yagyuu, but that was a bridge he'd cross if he came to it. "So. Where do you want to start?"
“The PTSD thing is probably a good place. The head injury is totally fine, by the way. Dr. Atobe cleared me, I’m not brain damaged or crazy or anything like that, so write that down.” Dr. Yagyuu had also cleared him on the mental faculties test, but the fact that he had been detained and tested at all still left a sour taste in Marui’s mouth, and his defensive tone made that abundantly clear.
"Oh, I'm aware. I did go over your record before you came. Just doing my due diligence." Chitose had wanted to make sure of that, because while the head injury was more up his alley to fix, it wasn't why Marui was here. "So. Is it just the crawlers? Or is there more to it?" He'd read up on the mission as well, but he wanted Marui's take on it all.
“Good.” Marui eyed Chitose suspiciously, still not entirely trusting him not to pull a ‘ps you’re crazy’ despite being the one who reached out. “It’s mostly the crawlers. Usually it’s the little ones in my dreams, like they keep coming and I can’t stop them all or I can’t move and they get all over me and eat me, but sometimes it’s the big one. Those are the worst ones.” Marui shuddered, pulling a pack of gum out of his pocket and struggling with the wrapping before finally getting a piece out. “Dr Yagyuu says he’s got juice for it, but…” But he’d seen what that stuff had done to Kirihara.
Dr. Yagyuu's juices… Chitose kept his mouth shut on that topic. He was as skeptical of them as most people were his naturopathy, but he wouldn't speak against them unless he had proof. "How often do you have these nightmares? How many nights a week, on average?" Lack of sleep certainly wouldn't help anything…but it was probably better to combat the source of the nightmares than the lack of sleep…or do you address the lack of sleep first, so he'd be more mentally stable to address the source?
“Less now that I’m not on the medication, but I don’t know if that’s because I’m less tired or because I’m not sleeping 24/7. Maybe both?” Marui shrugged. “Now it’s four or five times a week, probably. More if someone makes me start thinking about it.” Like Niou with his descriptions. Fucking Niou.
Chitose nodded. "All that sleeping probably didn't help. More sleep means more chances for dreams, in general, so of course the chance of nightmares goes up too." Hmmm. "When you have a nightmare like that, what do you do? Do you try to go back to sleep at all? Or at least, try to rest?"
“Depends how bad they are. Sometimes I check my comm for a while then go back to sleep, worse ones I end up playing video games for a few hours. If I go back to sleep right away the dream just starts where it left off, so I have to distract myself for a while.” Luckily enough for Marui, Kirihara slept like a rock thanks to the juice. “I try to play calm games at least. I was using Animal Crossing for a while but then a tarantula got me so that one’s out the window now.”
"Ew, yeah, starting up where it left off sucks," Chitose agreed, having had a couple of those of his own, even if they probably hadn't gotten him nearly as worked up as Marui's would've. "And those tarantulas are so creepy. I can barely make myself catch the one needed for Blathers' museum. That and the scorpions…." He laughed a little, totally getting off topic. "It's usually recommended to avoid devices when trying to sleep, though. Have you tried reading a book instead?"
The look of complete unimpressed disinterest on Marui’s face said it all. “Books aren’t really my thing. And you can’t really keep up with weekly comics out here…” Serialized manga, his poor abandoned love.
Chitose couldn't help laughing a little at how truly bored Marui looked at the thought of books. "There are good ones out there, I promise!" He grinned. "Okay, well…there's also options for aromatherapy, to help you relax at night. Or things like chamomile tea. Unfortunately there's no guarantee any of it will keep the nightmares away. That's one limitation with any kind of medication or herbal remedy. It might make you sleep but it can't control what your mind does once you're out."
Marui sunk backwards into his chair, sighing dramatically. “This is so dumb. I should have become a neurosurgeon and invented insertable dreams and become a gazillionaire that way.” It’s hard to tell how much Marui was joking about this, considering the size of his ego. “This whole colony thing is a nightmare.”
"Well…Colony life isn't for everyone, that's for sure. But… inventing insertable dreams? For one, you'd probably still be in medical school. Which isn't cheap, by the way. And you'd have to have some kind of…I dunno. Engineering or computer expertise as well, depending on how you went about it…years and years of research and trial and error and…there's no guarantee you'd succeed." Chitose had to admit it was an interesting thought, being able to somehow give someone pleasant dreams…but the human mind was a very complex thing… "I would very much wish you luck if you tried to pursue that."
Marui waved off all of Chitose’s points lazily, like he was brushing off flies. “I’d figure it out, it wouldn’t be that hard. I mean, you got through med school, right? It’s not impossible.” The casual way Marui blew bubbles while asserting med school was simple almost made it more insulting. “What did you do before here, by the way? You didn’t already work for the UEA, did you?”
Chitose's eye twitched a bit at the implication that either he was stupid, medical school was easy, or both. If this was back in his teenage years, he'd probably at very least kick Marui in the shin. But he firmly reminded himself that was unprofessional, and simply shifted his legs so they were almost under him. "Before here? Medical school. And while I was doing that, I got my degree in Naturopathic Medicine." He just smiled as he spoke, determined to let Marui's attitude slide off him.
Surprising how he managed that with legs that long, Marui was fascinated. Like a stork folding up to fit into a nest or something. “So fresh out of school, cool, cool. What made you wanna come all the way out here? Desire to explore new places? Undying devotion to the UEA cause of universal colonization?” He was probing for Chitose’s alliances here, and he wasn’t being particularly subtle about it.
They were incredibly off-topic. But, that was okay. Chitose had told Marui he wasn't a professional therapist, and had told him he'd be willing to have talks with him even if they might not hold much therapeutic value… And a first visit was as good a time as any to get familiar with the patient. "Well. I do like wandering and seeing what new things I can find. This is the first time I've wandered quite this far from home, though…as I imagine it is for most, if not all of us. But…I found out my best friend was out here, and we hadn't seen each other in a while… so I figured why not?" He shrugged. "What brought you out here, Marui?"
That was a sound enough answer. Marui would take it for now, but Chitose wouldn’t be getting the same amount of openness in return. “It’s my life’s dream to make promo videos for the UEA billions of lightyears from Mars.” Yeah, he wasn’t even trying to make it sound believable.
Chitose chuckled. "Liar." There was no way that was the truth. He did know a few UEA people, but none of them were that devoted to it. And Marui's tone was far from convincing. "You know, these talks won't work if you aren't absolutely candid with me. And as a reminder, everything here is completely confidential. So. Try again."
Ugh, irritating. Marui chewed in silence for a minute, contemplating his options before deciding to test the water just a little bit more before he jumped. “You’re friends with Tachibana, right? Would you say he trusts you?”
Chitose arched an eyebrow, curious where Marui was going with his questioning. "I like to think he does. We were extremely close, when we were younger. Trusted each other with our lives, pretty literally," he chuckled, thinking of all the beatings they took and dished out as teens. "Even with the distance between us, I don't have any reason to think that's changed."
Well, that was about as good as it was going to get. Tachibana was a trustworthy guy, and if he’d chosen Chitose as a friend, that probably meant Chitose was trustworthy as well. Sigh, here went nothing. “Alright, give me some paper, I’ll write it out.”
Paper? In such a digital era? How unusual…and potentially telling, depending on what it was Marui wrote. Luckily, Chitose's bean bag was close enough to his desk that all he had to do was reach over, easily grabbing a pad of paper and a pen. Without a word, he handed them to Marui, very curious to see what story he would choose to tell.
The first thing Marui did was rip a piece off the pad. He’d seen enough old detective movies to know that imprints were a thing. Then, using his leg as a desk, he wrote a quick note, keeping things simple. Signed a contract with UEA to avoid court + jail time. Folding the paper in half, he then handed it to Chitose.
Chitose took the paper and unfolded it, reading the handwritten message. And oh that was interesting, and now he had so many questions… But if he asked them now, how likely was Marui to answer them? Considering what presented like paranoia in the way Marui actually disclosed it….probably not very. "I'll admit I have a lot of questions," Chitose began, actually making himself get up from the bean bag. "But I won't ask them right now." He hunted around on his desk for the small box of matches he kept there. When he found them, he crumpled up the paper, tossed it in his wastebasket, and then lit a match and tossed it in as well, making sure the paper caught fire to get rid of the evidence. "Though I admit I'd like it if you someday trusted me enough to tell me all on your own."
Marui watched as Chitose got rid of the evidence approvingly. Definitely the sort of thing that increased his trust. “It’s not as interesting as it sounds, it’s mostly just annoying. But if you wanted to know why I picked you instead of Dr. Yagyuu, that’s why.”
Chitose stayed standing and leaned back against his desk, letting the paper burn fully, even shaking the wastebasket to stir the embers and encourage it to burn into as small of pieces as possible. Once he was pretty sure it wasn't going to get any smaller, he took the spray bottle he used on some of his herbs and sprayed the inside, making sure the embers were good and extinguished and no longer a fire hazard before he put the basket back where it belonged. "Are you afraid he'd harm you, somehow? Or report all the confidential conversations back to the UEA?"
“The latter, mostly, but the first isn’t out either. I’ve seen the way his juices work, I don’t want that to be me. And since he doesn’t have a problem listening to orders when people decide out of nowhere I need a forced mental evaluation…” Marui trailed off, shrugging. Chitose was smart enough to figure out the implications there. After all. He’d been to medical school.
Chitose nodded as he settled himself back into the bean bag. "I suppose I can see that." After all, there were some situations in which certain degrees of what was said in confidential therapy sessions was allowed to be discussed outside those sessions. If the patient presented an imminent harm to someone, or was a convict up for parole or release from a psychiatric facility… And Chitose himself wasn't crystal clear on how much was allowed to be revealed in those circumstances. "As much as I'd like to tell you you have nothing to worry about, I can't say that. I don't know Dr. Yagyuu particularly well, but he does seem to have a stronger connection to the UEA than someone like myself."
“Yeah. Plus he’s got a stick up his ass.” He had given Marui a fair mental assessment, but Marui still wasn’t about to trust him that easily after getting glimpses of his personality in chat. “Like, I know I sound paranoid, but what is it that the crazy people say? ‘It’s not being paranoid if they really are out to get you’.” Marui laughed, he knew he sounded kind of ridiculous. “It kinda feels good to tell someone about this. I’ve basically had to deal with people thinking I’m self-obsessed and worried over nothing this whole time and I couldn’t even defend myself.”
Chitose chuckled. Marui did sound paranoid, but he also wasn't wrong. The question was, were they really out to get him, now that they'd more or less washed their hands of him by tossing him out to Izanagi? "I can't really speak on it either way. I see both sides. And without knowing the UEA's standpoint on it, I can't say how valid your paranoia is or isn't. I've heard enough rumors about them to make me suspicious of some things, but I have no proof. Just as I suspect you don't have any actual proof they're out to get you…but you can't say for sure they aren't, either."
“You get it. You never know, right? Better safe than sorry. And can you really blame me for getting imaginative when they sent me out into the wild with Kin-chan right after he tried to wrestle me to death? You can’t tell me their mission team choices aren’t sketchy. I mean. Look at me.” Marui held out his arms, motioning to his entire soft, non-military self.
"I'm sure the UEA has their system for deciding who goes on the expeditions in which groups." What it was, exactly, now that was the question. And all Chitose knew is he wasn't privy to it. "There's still some limits to things, though. There's reasonable skepticism and caution, and then there's full blown paranoia. Having met Kin-chan…I highly doubt that the correlation between getting sent on an expedition with him so soon after being injured by him is anything intentional…on anyone's part."
Marui puffed out his cheeks petulantly, looking off to the side. “Yeah, I know that now. Getting mauled by him was just really scary, okay? He could snap me in half like a stick if he wanted to.” Even when he knew it was ridiculous, Marui couldn’t give up without at least a little bit of validation for his thinking.
Chitose chuckled softly at the rather childish pout. "I can only imagine…mentally he's a child, so I would find it hard to believe he harbors much by way of ill intent…but his strength is unreal, and his inability to sit still can definitely lead to problems. It makes me really glad Kippei's so good at wrangling him," he admitted. "But…how about, in the future, if you start to think someone's conspiring against you, come talk to me and get a second opinion? To try and keep things on the reasonable end of that spectrum?"
“He wouldn’t do it on purpose, but even on the mission he accidentally got us down that hole by digging too much. That strength is no joke.” Marui sighed. It was too bad, Kin was a fun kid. Definitely not 30, but Marui knew enough to keep his mouth closed about that. “I’ll tell you first next time, but you have to actually listen and not write me off immediately, okay?” He could tell Chitose was only offering to keep his concerns down to earth, but having someone to listen to him complain did sound nice, so Marui would take it.
"Of course," Chitose nodded. "Worrying about things can't always be avoided. But differentiating between realistic things to worry about and the wildly unlikely is important. It won't necessarily stop you from worrying about the unlikely things, but hopefully recognizing them as such can help at least minimize any anxiety that comes from them." Hmm…and speaking of anxiety… "I know you're not a fan of Dr. Yagyuu's juices. But what's your stance on traditional medicines and/or naturopathic remedies?"
“Okaaay.” Marui nodded along much like a kid listening to a lecture that was going in one ear and out the other. He wasn’t fighting the idea of his worrying being a problem, but he wasn’t exactly gung-ho about it either. “Like herbs and aromatherapy and stuff, right? Never tried it. Not too sure how good it’ll work, but I’m willing to try if you think it’ll help. At least, as long as it doesn’t taste terrible.”
Chitose chuckled a little. There was more actual science behind naturopathic treatments than most people believed, but he didn't think Marui would be interested in those details. "Basically, yeah… The good thing with a lot of these treatments is that they don't have to be taken orally, and those that do are usually in capsules like a lot of manufactured medications." He grunted a little as he stood up again and opened the big cabinet next to his desk. "How have you felt since you've been in here? Find yourself relaxing at all?"
It was still fascinating to watch Chitose stand up and go from approximately eye height to way above him. "I relax fine most of the time. I mean, not as relaxed as I was back home, but that's normal, right?" Especially with a 'back home' life as cushy as Marui's.
"I think so, yeah. I mean, unfamiliar place, unfamiliar people…and the whole 'can't just walk outside whenever we want' thing doesn't help any either…" Ah, Chitose missed that probably the most. And listening to thunderstorms… He sighed a little, mourning the fact that the closest he got to nature was the indoor gardens in a temp controlled environment with artificial light cycles and no wind or rain. "But I meant specifically since coming into my office."
"Oh. Yeah, I guess? I like the chairs, I need to get some from my room." Marui pats the bean bag chair fondly. Sure, Chitose probably meant more like mental relaxation, but… chairs.
"....." Well. At least some relaxation was better than none, even if Chitose had been trying to see how the lavender oil he'd set out earlier was doing. Perhaps he'd diluted it too much to have any noticeable effect. At least there didn't seem to be any negative effects like an allergy or something. "Hm. Well. Here's what I want you to do." He picked up a little roller tube of lavender oil and passed it over to Marui. "Lavender is one of the most common aromatherapy treatments for anxiety. If you feel yourself getting stressed out or nervous, roll a little of the oil onto one of your wrists. Then put your wrists together so it's on both, and then dab your wrists against your neck, right about at the back of your jaw where your earlobe sits, on both sides." He mimicked the motions he wanted Marui to use as he spoke, and after demonstrating putting his wrists to his own neck, he crouched down and put his fingers gently on the appropriate spot on Marui's neck. "Then just take some deep breaths."
Marui twisted the top off the tube and took a sniff. Interesting. "So… like this?" He copied Chitose's instructions, using the oil this time. He rubbed it into his neck, then sniffed his wrists again. "It's kinda nice. This is what's on right now, right?" Maybe he's not completely oblivious.
Chitose smiled. "Exactly like that," he nodded, leaning back against his desk, glad Marui had apparently noticed the lavender. "What I have diffusing in the room is a diluted version. Not as strong, which…also means not as effective. The roll-on you can keep with you, use a tiny bit or a larger amount, depending on what you need, and since it's a topical oil rather than a pill, you avoid the possible side effects than can come from ingesting it. Except for a potential allergy…so if you notice anything abnormal happening - rash, itchiness or redness at application sites, for example - contact one of us doctors immediately." There wasn't anything in Marui's file about it, but if he'd never tried it, then of course no reaction would have been observed or recorded. But if Marui had been highly allergic, he'd most likely already have exhibited symptoms just from being in the room, so he should be fine.
"So should I use it before bed or after I wake up? Like, from a nightmare." On goes the lid, and Marui pops the roller in his pocket. "Uh, and maybe you should check it won't mess with anything Akaya's on, since he's my roommate."
"You can use it for both, and during the day. It shouldn't cause drowsiness like this." Chitose made a quick note to message Yagyuu about his drinks, since Kirihara was using them and Yagyuu's recipes weren't public knowledge. Which in and of itself was shady. "I'll check with him as soon as I can and I'll let you know for sure as soon as I've had a chance to talk to him."
“Akaya’s out mining right now, so you’ve got a little while to figure it out.” In the meantime, Marui was going to stink their room up like so much lavender. He doubted Akaya would even notice, Marui did most of the tidying that the bots didn’t handle anyway. He’d probably think it was air freshener or something. “So, is that all the doctorly knowledge you’ve got for me today?”
Chitose smiled and nodded. "For today. I still have some research to do, to see how I can best help, but that can be worked in later. I think we made a good start today." He held a hand out and down, offering it to help Marui up from the beanbag chair.
Marui took Chitose’s hand, using it to haul himself off the chair. Yeah, that was the only bad part about bean bags. “Cool. Looking forward to next time, I’ve got sooo much crap to dump on you.” He laughed here– it was a joke. Probably.
Chitose laughed, smiling wide. "Well, that's what I'm here for, so next time, dump away! And let me know how that lavender works for you." He really had no idea if he'd truly be able to help, but he looked forward to trying.
That’s the other thing he liked about Chitose– Marui couldn’t even imagine Yagyuu smiling like that. He smiled right back. “You got it. See ya later.” And just like that, Marui was gone, leaving the medbay a little happier and a lot more floral smelling.
