[log] Tachibana & Akutsu

[akutsu]

Who: Tachibana and Akutsu
When: the 17th
Where: Gym
What: The fight that wasn't



Tachibana didn’t get angry like this anymore. Not as much as he did as a teenager… but right now, he was furious. Furious at Akutsu for being such a damn hypocrite. He needed to let off some steam and cooking just wasn’t doing it, so he headed to the gym to bash his fist against a punching bag for a few rounds.

Akutsu had to admit, he was curious. Tachibana getting pissed at him…it should've made him angry. Might have, once upon a time. But…instead, he was…kind of impressed. Seeing a crack in that perfect nice guy bullshit that Tachibana managed…it made him human, now. And that...made Akutsu want to see just how big that crack was. Yeah, it meant he was gonna be a dick…but for a reason, and he couldn't help a smirk when he walked into the gym, hearing Tachibana working out his frustration.

"Well. Look what the cat dragged in."

Tachibana’s nose twitched as he felt a snarl form on his face. He wasn’t ready to be in the same room with Akutsu. “I was here first.” He stated, steadying the punching bag. “I suggest you either leave me the fuck alone and shut up, or leave.”

Akutsu smirked. "Why? Gonna hit me?" he asked, sticking his hands in his pockets, making himself look perfectly relaxed and hoping it worked to egg him on. "Gym's a free space. I can be here too."

Part of Tachibana hated how he felt right now. He had genuinely liked Akutsu for the most part, but right now? He couldn’t stand to look at him. “I might, if you decide to start running your mouth.” He wasn’t unreasonable, though, and knew that he couldn’t actually kick Akutsu out. “Just go be a hypocrite away from me, if you would.”

"HAH." Akutsu's smirk only grew, and he walked towards Tachibana like he was stalking prey. "I'm a hypocrite, yeah. And a dick. And a selfish, stubborn piece of shit. Makes me wonder why it's the hypocrite bit that pisses you off…since the way I see it, that's the least of my flaws." He was easily within punching distance, now. "What'cha gonna do, Tachi?"

Tachibana knew he was being egged on. He glared and kept his fists firmly at his side. “Because you’re so quick to try and convince others of how lucky they are, or to take chances, but when one is presented to you, you would rather just brush it off and stay miserable.” He said through gritted teeth. “Because I thought you, of all people, would understand someone seeking out a second chance.”

He wasn’t going to let being goaded make him swing his fist just yet.

Impressive…Tachibana had some serious self-control… Akutsu had to admire that. He knew he'd rarely had that much control over himself - never felt a need to, after all - and he couldn't help wondering how much of the various motivations were responsible for it. Was Tachi holding back because of the whole Niou thing? Was he holding back because he was trying not to sink back into the part of him that Akutsu would bet would have slugged him already? Or was it something else?

"You make a lotta assumptions, Tachi. I ain't miserable. My life ain't been unicorns and rainbows, but life rarely is. I went through shit…but it doesn't mean I'm gonna go cry bout all the stuff that coulda been." He stepped even closer, until there was almost no space between them. "But what I really wanna know is why you think I understand anything about second chances."

Tachibana didn’t flinch or back up. “Why? You and Masaharu being where you are now is one… but aren’t you also trying to do something more with yourself around here? It would have been easy for all of us to just write you off as an ex-con and have that be that, but we didn’t. And before you go saying ‘I didn’t ask you to’, that isn’t the point. Sometimes, you just have to give people a fucking chance.”

"What I'm doin' here ain't for anybody but me," Akutsu growled. Well. Maybe it was a bit for his mother, but she was only part of it. "I don't give a flyin' sack of shit what anybody else thinks of me. Write me off, or don't, that's on them. Me tryin' to be better is because I want to." He took one hand out of his pocket and moved it to hold Tachibana's chin between his thumb and index finger, using the grip to tilt Tachibana's face up a bit. "Keep that straight. Got it?"

Not even being touched was enough yet. Not yet. “You dumbass, you can’t just ‘be better’ by yourself. This lone wolf act is exhausting. It’s great that you’re doing it for yourself, but it wouldn’t be possible if no one gave you the time of day. Stop acting like the chances you’re getting here have no part in it, and stop acting like you’re the only one that’s had to look out for themself.”

Damn. The more Tachibana didn't lash out physically, the more Akutsu…actually found himself respecting him. Positions reversed, Akutsu would have at the very least shoved him away by now. "I can be better, without anyone else. I can choose to stop picking fights. I can choose to stop stealing. I can choose to learn new things even if my only teaching source is books and the motherfucking internet. And even if nobody even looks in my direction, I know I'm better than I was when I started. That's doing it for myself. Do I benefit from other people decidin' maybe I'm worth another go? Sure. And I ain't gonna deny I use those opportunities when I can. But that's on them. My effort wasn't to impress 'em or make 'em like me." He used his hold and pushed Tachibana away, and ran his hand through his hair before putting it back in his pocket. "I know I ain't the only one. I ain't stupid. But that ain't got shit to do with this."

“I wasn’t saying you were doing it for anyone else. All I was saying was that others have given you a second chance, so you should know what it feels like to get one.” Tachibana said, steadying his feet. “You should only change for yourself. “ At the last bit he scoffed. “Maybe it doesn’t, but you sure as hell were quick to invalidate what I went through on the simple notion that at least my old man was living in the same house as me.”

Akutsu’s eyes narrowed. He hated it. That…if he took the time to think about it, Tachibana was actually right. Just because he’d never looked at it as getting a second chance - at least, not in such an…important sense - didn’t mean that wasn’t exactly what had happened. And Tachibana was right about the latter part, too. He had brushed off the shit Tachibana had gone through. “…I just figured better the devil you know…” he said out loud, without any hostility or goading in his voice.

“And I’m just saying you haven’t even given them the chance to know them.” Tachibana said, the edge in his voice softening. “No one was saying you didn’t survive and do well on your own, but they obviously want that chance, and probably would have been there the whole time given that chance. And of course you don’t owe it to them…but I figured if you saw me giving my old man a second chance as a good thing, you would live by your own words…”

Akutsu just shrugged, finding a convenient workout machine to lean back against. “It ain’t so much that I see it that way….as it is that I kinda figured you would. Or most people would. I’m a pretty coldhearted guy. People that go around hittin kids…I ain’t above hittin ‘em back. As a teen, if a guy had done shit like that to me…I can’t guarantee I wouldn’ta killed the bastard, and slept like a baby after.”

“I was ready to ignore him, or send a message telling him I was sorry he didn’t die.” Tachibana admitted. “...Until you and Masaharu said something.” He shook his head. “How can you say you’re cold-hearted when you tried saying what you thought I would want to hear, or that you would punch a child abuser? Who are you trying to fool? Me or yourself?”

Akutsu snorted. "Ready to. But instead you made that journal post, like you were just askin' for someone to stop ya. If you'd really wanted to, you'd have already sent it." Damn, he really wished he had his cigarettes. Instead, he took a deep breath and tried to convince himself it was smoke he breathed in, instead of ordinary air. "Why the fuck are there so many people on this godforsaken planet that actually think I'm some kind of decent human being?"

“Because you’re the only one that thinks you aren’t.” Tachibana said bluntly. “And sorry, but you’re a shit judge of character sometimes.”

Akutsu just stared at Tachibana, for once completely speechless. He tired to wrap his head around it, but…even with all the evidence that stared him in the face, he didn't really believe it. Red called him 'Batman'. Marui liked him enough to be at least somewhat concerned about 'losing him'. Niou was fucking in love with him, for whatever that was worth. And even as he thought about it, he could hear echos of his mother, telling him he had a big heart once when he was a kid. And Akira… You're too hard on yourself, Jin.

Frustrated, he patted down the rest of his pockets, hoping to god he'd stashed a cigarette there somewhere…

Tachibana sighed at the speechless reaction. “The only person you’re not a decent human being to is yourself.” He wished he could find a way to show Akutsu how everyone else saw him, but that was impossible. “...Forget it. I shouldn’t go sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.”

"Tachi…How'd you do it? End up so fucking nice to people? You had a shit childhood…but you're like a goddamn saint." It wasn't exactly like Akutsu was planning to suddenly make himself a chipper happy person, but…he only knew how to be the way he was. Anything else hurt his head.

“I really wish people would stop calling me that.” Tachibana was exhausted. So much he slumped to sit on the mat. “I’m not a saint. I just…I was given a second chance, you know? And…it showed me that everyone has their own things they’re going through…that I wasn’t alone in my struggle. So I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, usually. That doesn’t make me a saint.”

Akutsu couldn't help but laugh a little. "That's not entirely what I meant. If somebody'd come at me the way I came at you just a bit ago, I'd have punched em. Shoved 'em at least. But you just fuckin stood there. Bein the better person and not throwing the first punch…" Which, in that respect, was kind of exactly what Akutsu was doing. He might've laid the bait, but he wasn't gonna be the one to throw the first punch.

“It’s nothing deep.” Tachibana admitted, pointing to the camera in the room. “I’m not about to do 30 hours of online training without a good reason and you hadn’t struck a nerve that I felt was good enough yet…” He chuckled softly. “That, and I mentally process being hit better than me doing the hitting.”

Akutsu followed Tachibana's pointing to the camera and chuckled. "Those damn things really are everywhere." So annoying…and he couldn't help wondering what the penalty would be for destroying a few of them. "Eh. Yeah, I get that part. I got no problem hittin, but I'd rather let the other guy start it." He looked back at Tachibana. "You still pissed?"

Tachibana took a deep breath. "... Depends. Sit down with me."

Well that got Akutsu's eyebrow up. And because he couldn't help the curiosity, he pushed off the machine and walked over, then plopped down into a cross-legged position in front of Tachibana. "Now what?"

"Will you be real with me for a moment?" Tachibana asked, matching Akutsu’s position. "The reason you don't want to give the Hiyoshis a chance… worried they'll throw you out once they get to know you?"

Akutsu sighed and shrugged. "I just don't think it's that important. We've all lived our lives just fine before this all came out. I've never had any intention of finding or getting to know the guy I get half my DNA from. I still don't, even now that I know exactly where to find him. For me, nothing changes." It was the same thing he'd always said, but that was because he meant it. "I never even gave a thought to what they'd think of me."

"It may not change much for you…because honestly, your mother made that choice for you. The thought of connecting was never really something to consider. But that isn't the same for them. They never got a choice."

"He had that choice. Apparently he ended things with my mom because he'd found out he knocked up his wife. I guess it never occurred to him he might've knocked up his mistress too?" Akutsu knew he probably didn't have all the information. What his mom had told him…might very well not be all of it. But from what he'd been told, they'd never spoken after the day he went back to his wife.

"Why would he have thought he knocked her up if she didn't say anything?" Tachibana asked softly. "I know that doesn't matter in the long run. Nothing major will change. But the fact that they immediately jumped on wanting to get to know you seems like a decent sign to me."

Akutsu sighed. "I know I only have Mom's side of the story. But she's never given me a reason to doubt her. She said she may not have told him before he left…but he never asked. Not then, not any time later. Never heard from him again after he left." He leaned back on his hands. "I don't understand it. Them wantin to know me outta nowhere. And it's too much all at once. I can't deal with it."

"Maybe don't try to understand it all at once. Start small. Just read a letter a day, or a week. Ask questions if you have them…it just seems a waste to dismiss them completely. "Tachibana said.

"I dunno. It's still just…incredibly weird. Like. I have absolutely no mental or emotional connection to these people. All they are is words on a page. At least Piyo's real. Here. Fucking bizarre as it is, he at least registers as a person. Everything else is like…ghosts or some shit." Very eerie, to read words from someone who might've been dead, for all Akutsu knew.

"Then start with him." Tachibana suggested. "He wants to spar with you, right?"

Akutsu groaned just at the thought of it, dropping his head back. "Ugh. Yeah, he does. Maybe a little too much. He's such a strange kid."

"Maybe…but I think he just wants to connect. And sparring partners is something easier to work up to than brothers." Tachibana smiled softly. "Maybe, just maybe, you could also humor an old lady sometime in the future. When you're ready."

Akutsu picked his head back up, giving Tachibana a dirty look for mentioning Hiyoshi's grandma. "Don't go gettin sappy on me now, Tachi. It ain't likely to happen. And what if I do spar with him and kick his scrawny little ass? He goes on about more inherit the dojo shit? Tries to teach me whatever the Hiyoshi martial art style is? I don't think so."

"He's a smart guy." Tachibana pointed out. "Draw a boundary. Tell him you're willing to spar, but you don't want the dojo and you like the way you fight just fine." He chuckled softly. "Old people have a way of getting what they want eventually. Chef Leung never gave up on me, and now look where I am."

The boundary thing had merits, although Akutsu strongly suspected it would take more than one beating to successfully get it into Hiyoshi's head. But…"Wait. Which one of us are you calling old?"

"Oh, I meant the grandma." Tachibana laughed, knowing he was speaking in circles. He did that when coming down from being angry.

Akutsu snickered. "Just checking. Woulda had to give in and hit ya if you were callin me old. And take ya to the shrink if it was Piyo. He's barely outta diapers."

Tachibana laughed and fell onto his back. "Both of you are too hotblooded to be old." He sighed. "Being angry is exhausting. How did I use to do it all the time?"

Just to make sure Tachibana hadn't gone and died on him after the fall, Akutsu shifted and kicked at one of Tachibana's feet with one of his own. "Sounds like a you problem. I got plenty of energy still. Maybe you need to work on your stamina."

Tachibana laughed more. "My anger stamina. Got it."

"I meant stamina in general. At this rate, Niou might outlast you," Akutsu teased with a wink.

Tachibana smirked. "I can last in other ways. Just not being mad." He chuckled. "Especially at someone I actually like."

"Uh huh. That remains to be seen." Akutsu leaned forward off his hands, crossing his arms over his lap instead. "So. How long do you last being mad at Niou? Do you get mad at him at all, even?"

Tachibana sat back up, shrugging. "I think I've been angry at him twice. It didn't last long. There are plenty of people who deserve anger…but not Masaharu. Even at his worst, I can't bring myself to do it."

Akutsu raised his eyebrows. "You're so hopeless for him. He's a dick too, yanno." Not that that stopped Akutsu from being stupidly fond of him either, but Akutsu definitely had his moments of getting mad at him. "He's got you so whipped."

"I know." Tachibana chuckled. "But he wants me to be more…aggressive with what I want and I'm not sure what to do about that…"

"Aggressive how?" Akutsu asked, curious. Obviously he wouldn't encourage Tachibana to go crossing any lines, but…however weird it might be, Tachibana was dating Niou too, and Niou being happy was a good thing for all of them. "Like, sex stuff? Or just in general?"

"I think in general. He keeps telling me to be more selfish." Tachibana scratched his head. "But I'm just going the pace I'm comfortable with…"

Akutsu thought about it for a moment, but he shrugged. "Sounds like a fine line, to me. I mean, it's important you're both comfortable. So…I dunno. Make sure he knows your pace isn't as much for him as it is for you…but if you get an urge for somethin new, don't ask permission. Just do it."

Tachibana nodded. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense." He smiled gently. "I was so sure when I saw you here, we were going to fight… I'm glad we didn't."

"Don't go gettin' weird on me, Tachi." Akutsu lifted his hands and cracked his knuckles. "It ain't too late. I'm sure I can find a way to piss ya off again."

"Please don't." Tachibana chuckled. "For Haru's sake, if nothing else."

Oh, shit, that reminded him… "Ugh. Speaking of him. I think he feels left out that I haven't ended up callin him some weird nickname. And you already got the only one I could think of."

"What about Masa?" Tachibana suggested. "However, I kind of like pet names, so you might not be able to keep up." He laughed.

"Ew you're gross." Akutsu was, fortunately, not typically one to do the usual pet names, except as a joke. "Thought about Masa but…eh. Feels like the default with you callin' him Haru." He shrugged. "Somethin'll come to me eventually. Probably."

Tachibana laughed at being called gross, but didn't deny it. "Haru isn't off limits. I won't get mad if you call him that." Tachibana said. "But do what feels right."

Akutsu rolled his eyes. Of course Tachibana would laugh. What a fuckin weirdo. "I ain't gonna call him Haru. You might not be bothered by it, but it weirds me out." Something would make its way, sooner or later. There wasn't really a rush.

"Alright, alright." Tachibana sighed, catching his breath. "Understood."

Akutsu just shook his head. Tachibana really was a strange guy. But…well. Could be worse, he supposed. He shifted, pulling a scrap piece of paper from one of his pockets, then balled it up and threw it at Tachibana, just to be a jerk. Then he got up, and held a hand out to help Tachibana up as well. "So. We're good? For now, at least?"

Tachibana frowned for a second as the paper hit him in the face, but took the offered hand and stood up. "We're good. For now." And now Akutsu understood Tachibana a little bit more than before…and Tachibana understood Akutsu a little more as well.

"Heh. Bet ya ten credits Niou's gonna be more weirded out than anything that we ended up bonding again," Akutsu smirked, way too amused.

"Oh, that's a safe bet." Tachibana chuckled. "I'm starving now, how about you?" He was willing to cook them both dinner if Akutsu wanted.

Akutsu smirked. It…was oddly nice that he and Tachibana managed to get along so well. "Yeah, I could eat. ….I'd offer to cook, but I'd be more likely to blow up the kitchen."

Tachibana snorted. "Yeah, please don't." He patted Akutsu’s shoulder. "Leave the cooking to me." He smiled. He liked Akutsu, he just wished the other man knew how much he was actually worth.