[Log- Tachibana and Niou]

[wildlionchef]

Who: Tachibana Kippei and Niou Masaharu
When: September 2
Where: Niou and Hiyoshi’s room
What: Tachibana and Niou have a heart to heart.



Niou had sent Tachibana a ‘I want to talk to you’ message, and then belatedly followed it up with a ‘in mine and Hiyoshi’s room, 4PM’ because if everything went to shit, he wasn’t going to ruin Tachibana’s room with sad memories. He still didn’t have a plan of what to say, but he also knew that if he took the time to actually think about it and try to make a plan… he would chicken out of the conversation entirely.

Showering also didn’t provide any amazing answers to him either and so Niou resigned himself to just sitting and waiting and trying not to think too much.

Tachibana was a bit nervous at the message. It was rather sudden, but he knew fretting too much would just make it worse. He arrived just before 4, knocking on the door.

Niou had given himself too much time to sit around and think, and was very tightly wound when he finally heard the knock. He remotely made the door open and just sat on his bed, hair sticking up in all directions from too many fingers through it and looking… stressed. "Hey Kippei," he said, patting at the mattress next to him. "I'm surprised you didn't knock properly."

Tachibana blinked. "Oh, I didn't realize…" He had been thinking too much himself, apparently. He went and sat next to Niou, quite worried. He held out his hand for Niou. "Are you okay, Masaharu?"

"I then thought it was meant to signalise that it was me and we need to come up with one specifically for you." He was talking too fast and about useless things, and Niou shook his head to chase out the crowding random thoughts. He gripped Tachibana's hand tightly. "I would like a kiss first, please."

Tachibana smiled softly, brushing hair from Niou’s face before kissing him nice and deep. Whatever was bothering Niou was doing a number on him, and Tachibana was here to support.

Niou sighed into the kiss, moving a hand up to Tachibana's shoulder to keep him close. Yeah, he really liked this. And he just kept kissing Tachibana to put off the conversation as long as he could, only very reluctantly breaking to breathe properly. "... I think I'm in love with you," Niou blurted out suddenly, before he could think too much about it. And he could feel himself going red.

Tachibana blushed and gently pulled Niou into a tight hug. "I thought that's what you were getting at…" Tachibana admitted. "And I just hoped I wasn't being too full of myself."

Oh, suddenly a hug. Niou pressed his face into Tachibana's shoulder and loosely hugged him back. "I thought you were just being stupid," he said with a laugh, poking Tachibana in the back. "But you were just having your stupid self-doubting thing again."

Tachibana laughed. "Just for a little bit. Once you asked if I understood, I definitely got it." He didn't want to let Niou go, so he didn't. "...Do you feel okay? Coming to that conclusion?"

Niou shifted to press a fond kiss to the mark behind Tachibana's ear, moving his hair out of the way. "Yeah I'm okay." He'd figured it out easily enough after the first two articles and how he'd ticked off most of the things they'd been talking about. "Once I knew what I was meant to look for it just… kinda made sense."

Tachibana was feeling pretty warm and fuzzy. "You have no idea how happy I am…" He said softly. All he could do to not completely crush Niou in their hug was to continue squeezing his hand and kissing the top of this head.

"I think I've got a pretty good idea." And was being a bit overwhelmed by all the affection right now. Niou continued leaning against Tachibana and closed his eyes. "It took… a month and a half." Roughly? Since Tachibana had first confessed. "Thanks for waiting so long."

Tachibana held him closely, idly playing with his hair. "It was worth the wait." Seriously, just hearing Niou said it would keep him in serotonin for months to come.

"I read so many articles about it. And I found all the common points between them and used them to make a scale based on how often they came up and then marked you against it …" and as he said that, Niou belatedly thought that… maybe he put way too much work into things like that. "I don't think I can say it very often though."

Tachibana rubbed Niou’s back. "Can you still hold my hand?" He asked, trying to ease Niou’s worries.

Niou blinked and … what? Oh, somewhere in his clinging he'd let go of Tachibana's hand. Niou ran his hand blindly down Tachibana's arm to find his hand, holding onto it and tucking it between them so he could keep hugging with one arm. "Like… hold your hand in public? … I guess? We don't really hang out that much in public though." He was a bit baffled by that.

Tachibana laughed and shook his head. “It doesn’t have to be in public, but… the way you hold my hand has changed. I can’t explain it…but it’s…warmer…” He smiled. “Just keep holding my hand and I’ll know how you feel.”

Oh, perhaps Tachibana's whole tactile thing extended to reading emotions better when he could touch. Niou shifted his grip on Tachibana's hand to lace their fingers together instead. "I've had quite a lot of practice now at hand holding. And not too long ago it was the only physical contact I could do." And it was… insane how fast that had grown.

Tachibana gently squeezed. “You have come a long way.” And Tachibana was happy for it. Even if Niou had never come to this conclusion, he would have been happy. But he was immensely happy to know his feelings were returned.

He'd almost ticked off the whole progression actually, now that Niou thought about it. Which was… surprising. "I have a problem though," he admitted and oh fuck it he just needed to get it all off his chest, even as he buried his face in Tachibana's shoulder even more. "I did the scale thing for you and figured that out but then I realised that it also applied to Jin and he figured it out and he definitely knows now… and we kissed again in the storage room. And he was jealous of you. And… I fucked up." He was talking fast, as though that would help, and surely Tachibana could feel his heart racing.

Tachibana felt his stomach drop for a moment. So he hadn’t been wrong to feel jealous of Akutsu, who Niou was now apparently calling by his given name. “...So you’re in love with him, too?” He didn’t let go…didn’t reject Niou’s touch or deny the comfort Niou was obviously seeking. “And he kissed you, so…he accepted your feelings?”

“... Yes.” To both things. Niou dug his fingers into Tachibana’s back and suddenly bit his shoulder. “Don’t you dare say something like ‘I’ll be okay if you choose him’.” He said just in case that was where Tachibana’s negative thoughts went spiraling down to. “Too. In different ways. Equally.”

“Ow.” Tachibana said softly. He was conflicted. Honestly, he had never thought of this in the scenarios that he had imagined. “...I wouldn’t be.” He said honestly. “I…don’t know what to do.” He wanted Niou. He wanted what they were doing just moments ago. “...What did he say?”

Niou didn’t know whether the ow was actually in response to the biting or because Niou hurt his heart or something. He mumbled an apology anyway, going back to just hiding his face in Tachibana’s shoulder. “I don’t know what to do either,” he said, and god he really should have just come up with a list of possible solutions to just shove at Tachibana. “Akutsu said… that I had to tell you everything, before he’d decide on anything. And that he would be maybe OK with going back to being friends…” Niou tilted his head slightly. “I think he said that with the same level of conviction that you did though, so I don’t believe him.”

“So you didn’t believe me, either?” Tachibana laughed. No, that wasn’t the important thing. What was important was that Niou was going through something pretty intense. “...Can I ask you a question?”

“Maybe at the start I did believe you, but… definitely not later.” Even if Tachibana had tried to tell him otherwise. Niou paused and tried to think about what Tachibana wanted to ask - it could have been many different things, actually. “Sure.”

“Would it make you happy if you could have both of us?” Tachibana asked softly, wondering if that was what Niou wanted.

Niou suddenly started laughing, a little hysterically as he tried to muffle his laughter in Tachibana’s shoulder. But he was still shaking from it. “That’s exactly what Jin suggested,” he said, choking back the laughter long enough before he dissolved again and went back to hiding.

It actually brought Tachibana a lot of relief to hear Niou laugh. He ran his fingers through Niou’s hair. “...You said we’re equal? Your feelings for us are equal?”

Niou calmed down a little at the hair petting, and he nodded at the question, though it took him a little longer to actually answer. “Different. But equal. Maybe a bit more if I’m with you right now though.” And then it swung back when he was having a conversation with Akutsu. “You don’t get grumpy at me.”

“You haven’t seen me without access to a kitchen.” Tachibana chuckled softly. “...And it’s normal to feel strongly for the person you’re with.” Tachibana kept petting, it calming him as much as it calmed Niou down. “...Polyamory exists. It’s not odd… and if Akutsu doesn’t mind it…” Tachibana wanted Niou to have the world…whatever he wanted. He took a deep breath. “...Normally, I would wonder why I wasn’t enough for you, or what he has that I don’t, but…being presented with it? I…I’m actually okay.” Maybe it was the whole “equal” thing that made him feel better.

… Why were both Akutsu and Tachibana coming to the same solution? And why hadn’t Niou even considered it as a solution beforehand? The hysterical laughter had passed at least and he just settled for comfortably leaning against Tachibana’s front. “I can make a list comparing the two of you if you really need me to,” Niou said, amused. “So what, you just… accept sharing? And… not get jealous?”

Tachibana kept a loose hold on Niou, taking a deep breath. “It’s strange… I was jealous because I thought he knew more about you… but I know now I just need to be more curious with you and just ask if I want to know something.” He had to weigh the options. He could be upset about all this and lose Niou… or he could accept it and just trust Niou. “Might have to put you on a schedule…” He teased.

“You can always ask, I said I’d tell you if I didn’t want to answer it.” And then maybe sink into a grumpy mood that needed to be petted away. Niou narrowed his eyes. “... Shit. There’s going to be two of you now. And shit now Jin’s in engineering too and he’s going to see how much I eat of dinner every day and probably bully me into sleeping. Oh my god I regret everything.”

Tachibana laughed, holding Niou just a little tighter. “We’ll have you functioning and everything.” It did actually put Tachibana at ease that Niou had someone else who cared about his well being. “...Of course, this is assuming he goes through with being okay with sharing.”

“Gross.” It was actually a terrifying idea the more that Niou thought about it. Akutsu snipped at him enough for not looking after himself, oh god what was he going to be like now? “He said he’d try. And I guess I’d just need to… tell him a bit less about what we do? … Or more? I don’t know? Would you want to hear everything? I mean, I kind of want to know everything you two do together…”

Tachibana chuckled, but sobered up a little at the question. “...Maybe not the intimate stuff…but I would like to know about anything fun you two do.” Tachibana said. “I want to know most things, but maybe not…you know…” Tachibana blinked. “...He and I only talk…nothing else will probably happen…”

“It’s not that interesting, really. We just… talk, hold hands. I hug him if he lets me.” Which was not often. “He bullies me. Gives me advice about things to do with you.” Niou shrugged. He tried to think for a moment about Tachibana and Akutsu sitting and hugging like he did with both of them, or even kissing and just snorted, dissolving into laughter again. “Oh no, that’s so funny.”

“What’s funny?” Tachibana smiled, curious about what Niou had imagined. “And what does he suggest we do?” He could only imagine what the other man was telling Niou.

“Just thinking about you and Akutsu hugging and kissing each other,” he smothered another laugh in Tachibana’s shoulder because it was still hilarious. “Since both of you just kind of let me hug you and be on top, it’s weird.” Niou hummed a bit and thought back through the conversations. “He really encourages me to tell you more things and be open. Tell you all my secrets.”

Tachibana nearly choked. “I…don’t think he would let me do that.” He laughed nervously. That would be just asking for trouble. He was strangely touched to learn that Akutsu’s suggestions were so… kind. “...I would actually like that. He’s very kind.”

Niou laughed. “You could try. I don’t know if he would. He gets really funny about kissing and hugging.” It was still a funny thought though. He smiled a bit. “I think you two are very similar. Except that you’re nice most of the time, and are a secret asshole. And he’s an asshole, who’s secretly nice. And both in denial about it.”

Tachibana shook his head. “No way, I know I can be an asshole.” Tachibana insisted. “Remember, I thought I was terrible?” He laughed softly. “But I get what you’re saying…” Tachibana leaned back just enough to get a good look at Niou. “I want you to be happy, Masaharu. I love hearing you laugh and I love your smile.”

“No, because you’re always trying to be apologetic and hide it,” Niou argued back. He sat back as well and looked at Tachibana curiously, unable to stop the answering grin and laugh as he spoke, before hiding his expression with a hand pressing against his mouth. “You’ll have to talk to him, okay? So he knows that I’ve definitely told you everything. And I dunno, you two can kiss and come up with a schedule or something. Get drunk together. And then tell me everything after.”

Tachibana snorted. “Okay, okay.” He could concede that he did get very apologetic about being an asshole. “I’ll…I’ll talk to him. But just because we both love you doesn’t mean we’re going to love each other, so don’t count on us kissing.” He poked Niou’s nose. “Unless you’ve got some interesting fantasy you aren’t telling me about?”

Niou’s immediate response was to say that Akutsu hadn’t said he was in love, but… that was Akutsu. Who didn’t like that word in general. And took long enough to admit they were friends. But he was abruptly brought out of his pondering by the sudden poke and scrunched up his face. “What, like being in bed with both of you together?” he glanced off past Tachibana’s ear to stare at the wall for a moment. “That wouldn’t work. I think you’d both like me lying on top of you and I don’t sleep enough to be able to share that through the night… It’d have to be separate only.”

Tachibana chuckled. “I was more talking along the lines of Akutsu and I making out and you watching.” He was joking, of course. “Separate is fine. Preferred, honestly.” Tachibana liked Akutsu…but he wasn’t about to go showing him the vulnerable side that only Niou got to see.

Niou blinked and … yeah he hadn’t even thought about that. He narrowed his eyes as he tried to imagine it. “... that’s weird. It’s easier to see you two punching each other?” Actually they’d probably enjoy that, weirdly. He laughed. “Well, good thing I have my own dodgy room now. I don’t need to worry about two roommates and trying to kick them out for private cuddling time.”

"Well, I will be punching him if he hurts you." Tachibana said casually, looking serious for all of a moment before snorting. "Dodgy room… could you make it sound any worse?"

“I’m sure he’d say the same thing,” Niou said, smiling. Which was actually a bit of a strange thought. He leaned in to kiss Tachibana, grinning as he pulled back. “It is a pretty dodgy room. I was going to just leave it as a mattress on the floor, but I think I might actually need to make a proper bed in there. It was meant to be just temporary while I waited for the loft bed, right? But I don’t think either of you two would fit up there with me, Sanada’s making it for my dimensions alone.”

Tachibana chased the kiss with another before humming softly in agreement. "Perhaps. I'm sort of against putting any more on Sanada’s plate. Or yours, for that matter…" He thought about it. "Maybe I could make a bed in there for you…I'm at least handy enough for that…"

“Yeah, Sanada works too much.” He also worked too much, but wasn’t going to mention that. Niou shrugged. “We’ve still got the designs from the original building of all the beds in the base. They’re not hard to make again. You might just need to help me carry the bits there and put it together.”

Tachibana nodded. It might actually be fun to do that together. He smiled gently, hand moving to hold Niou’s again. "I do apologize in advance if I'm a bit too sappy at times. I was just thinking how fun it would be to build a bed together."

Niou shrugged. “It’s fine, I know you’re like that.” He was getting kind of attached to Tachibana being very open with his feelings and sometimes sappy… and blushing easily. “I mean, building things is my job. Maybe I can make you do it by yourself and I can watch and tell you when you’re doing it wrong. And… you have to… take off an item of clothing or something, every time.” Niou started suddenly laughing again, feeling himself going red at the random thought even occurring to him. “You don’t need to do that, don’t worry.”

Tachibana couldn't help but steal another kiss. "You're so cute. What if I decided to fuck up on purpose just to end up naked?" Would he actually do that? Probably not, but it was an amusing thought.

“Mmm, that would be very sneaky of you,” Niou said, poking Tachibana in the side. “I don’t know, I’d have to think of some second stage of punishment if you messed up that many times.” He poked Tachibana again. “Also, did you know he calls you ‘Tachi’? It’s weird.”

Tachibana squirmed and laughed. "Okay, maybe that would end up backfiring on me…" He squirmed again before tilting his head. "Tachi…I didn't know that…" He felt strangely…tingly about that. "...I don't mind."

Niou tried to interpret Tachibana’s expression to figure out what he was thinking. It was definitely strange. “Well, I’m quite happy calling you Kippei,” he said, kissing him again. “Oh shit I need to tell him I talked to you.” Niou brought up his messages to Akutsu and sent a quick one, reading it aloud to Tachibana as he sent it. “I spoke to Kippei. It’s O.K. He wants to talk to you. Smiley face.”

Tachibana turned red. "I could have contacted him…" He said bashfully. "And I do like that you call me Kippei." Not many people did. Just Senri, really.

“You can still contact him, I’m sure he’d be confused.” Which just made the idea funnier. “... I still want to keep it all kinda… private though, you know,” Niou said carefully. “It’s not really other people’s business and all that.”

Tachibana bit his lip for a moment. "Can I at least tell Senri about you and I? Nothing too detailed, mind you. Just… that my feelings were returned?" He did want his best friend to not worry about him.

Niou blinked. “Oh. Yeah, I assumed you’d already told him?” He hadn’t hesitated at all to tell Akutsu, after all. “Uh. Might want to tell him about Akutsu too I guess, so he doesn’t get pissy at me if he figures that out?”

"If you're okay with that." Tachibana nodded. Senri was a reasonable guy. He could understand polyamory. "I didn't tell him out of respect for your wish to be private…"

Well, it was probably going to come out anyway in the end. And just as long as it all didn’t blow up in his face and ruin things at work, the idea of it being an open secret was fine. “Nah, tell him. It’ll get it off your chest. You’re not good at keeping secrets,” Niou said with a laugh and snuck another kiss.

Tachibana returned the kiss, smiling because there was no way he could argue with that. "The universe's worst actor." He admitted. "Thank you, Masaharu."

“I can definitely think of worse, don’t worry.” Niou suddenly laughed and tried to chase away the anxiety bubbling away in his chest. “Oh my god, Kippei I’m weirdly nervous about you and Jin talking oh my god.” Maybe he should try and eavesdrop. “Don’t share weird facts about me, okay? Or maybe you should, to show that you love and accept all the weird things, I don’t know…”

Tachibana could hear the anxiety in Niou’s laugh and soothed a hand over his hair. "It'll be okay. I think we both need to just make sure we're okay with this. I know I am… but it’s still good to talk. Just in case. And so we can be sure we aren't going to just be jealous of each other all the time."

Okay. That was fair. Niou was still going to be a nervous ball of energy until the talk was finished though. "Don't wait too long to do the talk. I don't think I'll sleep until I know." And he was feeling OK on the tiredness levels now. He sighed and patted at his chest. "I do actually feel better though. Maybe telling you things actually has some benefits."

Tachibana nodded. "It's better not to bottle things in. I promise, I'll talk to him as soon as I can." He really didn't want to leave Niou right now, though. "Tomorrow?"

“Maybe between you and Jin, I’ll become a fountain of honesty and just vomiting out all my feelings on a regular basis,” Niou laughed at the idea. “Yeah, tomorrow works. I actually would have stayed up all night anyway.” He glanced at the time. “I’ve got… work in a few hours. I can come annoy you in the kitchen before that if you want?”

"I would rather just stay like this for a little bit." Tachibana admitted. "If that's okay."

“No, that’s an absolutely unreasonably selfish request,” Niou said, shaking his head. He shifted away from Tachibana and moved to sit properly on the bed, resting his back against the wall and stretching his legs out. And okay, maybe in the future he should at least… have a sheet on the mattress and like one pillow. “Come here.”

Tachibana knew Niou enough by now to know he wasn't being serious, so he wasn't surprised when Niou shifted. He moved closer. "Head on lap or something else?"

“Whatever you want,” Niou said, letting himself rest neutrally. “But maybe not putting your head on your shoulder and falling asleep, that was so uncomfortable for me.” He laughed at that memory. “At least my shoulder is nearly better though.”

Tachibana chuckled and laid his head in Niou’s lap. "I'm glad it's almost better." He was constantly worried about Niou working with that shoulder still hurt.

His hands went immediately to start petting through Tachibana’s hair, combing it back from his face. “Me too. And then I need to fix the door of it so I can actually fit in properly.” Niou checked idly through Tachibana’s hair and poked at a few split ends. “You might need a trim soon, Kippei.”

Tachibana closed his eyes. “Yeah, I don’t want you hurting yourself again to get a chicken or something…” He sighed softly. “I suppose so. I'll talk to Mizuki-san.” The Safety Consultant seemed to know hair pretty well.

“I don’t hurt myself in the same way more than once, don’t worry,” Niou said, trailing his fingers down to Tachibana’s neck. “So, dislocated shoulder from the chicken coop isn’t going to happen again. “Trim only though. No cutting it off.”

“Good.” Tachibana let out a soft, content sigh. “Just a trim, so you’ll still love me.” He teased.

Niou pinched Tachibana’s nose, cutting off his air for a second before flicking him and going back to hair patting. “Exactly. When that last bit of blond hair falls, the love will just vanish completely. Better not risk it.”

Tachibana gasped and wiggled for a moment before his nose was freed and he started laughing. “Yeah, I’m not risking it. Thank goodness none of the men in my family are bald.”

"What good genes for healthy hair, then," Niou said cheerfully, combing Tachibana's hair back away from his face again. "Next time, I'll make sure there's a pillow in here for you, so you're not stuck with just my thighs. And maybe a blanket…"

"I like your thighs just fine." Tachibana chuckled softly. "I'm perfectly comfortable."

Tachibana was so strange. Niou shook his head a bit. "Okay… so I start work at 9… what time would you need to get to the kitchen to start making dinner?"

"Seven will be fine." Tachibana said, growing sleepy. "Mind if I doze until then…?"

"That's fine. I don't have anywhere to be " Niou patted Tachibana's hair some more before setting an alarm (just in case) and sent a message to Hiyoshi as well, to say Tachibana was in the room. "I'll wake you up, Kippei."

Tachibana relaxed. "Thank you, Masaharu. I love you." He smiled, drifting off.

"Yeah… me too, Kippei," Niou said quietly, staring at the wall instead and letting his hand settle. And now time for entertaining himself with his communicator for a couple of hours.