[LOG] Akutsu and Niou

[chickens]

Who: Akutsu and Niou
What: Friends hanging out?
When: 4AM Saturday
Where: Akutsu and Kawamura's room


It was early, but Niou was pretty sure that he’d seen Akutsu’s roommate head off for the start of his radio show, and after a solid sleep through the night post-expedition, he was feeling marvelous. And really, there was no better time than the present to have his talk with Akutsu.

He snuck in with a rerouted and off-schedule cleaning bot, sneaking up on the occupied bed. The gifted can of caffeine juice was put on the table and he looked down at the sleeping man. Right. First things first.

Before he could think too hard about it, Niou reached down to touch Akutsu’s hair. Since that had been deemed a forbidden action during one of the long, long talks, and had only made him want to do it more once he got back. And… gross, it had the distinctive feel of hair gel in it.

Niou whacked Akutsu suddenly on the shoulder. “Why are you sleeping with gel in your hair, that’s gross.”

Akutsu had been sound asleep for several hours. A nice, dreamless sleep...at least until he heard the opening of the door to his room. It wasn't truly enough to wake him, but his sleep was instantly lighter. True, he'd only spent a total of 5 years in prison, but it was an instinct that he'd gained in that time. Someone coming near you in your sleep was never a good thing.

It wasn't until he was touched that he actually woke. The touch to his hair was enough, and even as a familiar voice was speaking, with his eyes still closed, Akutsu sat up like a shot, one arm lashing out until it connected with something solid - a person, he could tell by the feel of it - and knocked them back.

It was only after that he opened his eyes and looked...

"Oh for fuck's sake, Niou!"

Okay maybe he had also been very curious about Akutsu daring him to sneak up on him in bed as well. And maybe he should have anticipated the reaction but Niou was still surprised at how fast the reaction was. At least until he got hit and stumbled back with a pained noise. Ow.

“Good morning,” Niou said with a half-hearted wave. “I was actually expecting a worse reaction, you know, from all the talk you did.”

Akutsu scrubbed his eyes with his palms, some of the tension leaving his body now that he knew it was just a dumbass, and not a threat. "You're just lucky I don't sleep with a shank in my hands anymore," he grumbled, trying to wake himself up a bit more. "I don't wanna find out how the cleaning bots deal with blood."

Ugh. What time was it? Glancing at the clock on his headboard, he groaned. "Why the fuck are you in my room at 4am?"

“Efficiently, and with a spray,” Niou said with a bit of a grin, going over to turn the light on. Which temporarily blinded him as it came on. Ow, again. “Which I know because I built them, not because I’ve had experience with blood here. Just by the way.”

He dragged the chair over from Akutsu’s desk space to sit down on. “I slept through the night for the first time in years,” Niou said, waving a hand at his eyebags. “And I promised I’d come see you after I woke up to talk.”

Akutsu just stared blankly at Niou for a few moments before it all sank in. He really was still too tired for this shit… "And it just had to be at four in the fucking morning?" He ran his hands through his hair, breaking up more of what was left of his gel. "...where the fuck did I put my cigarettes…" he muttered, mostly to himself as he started looking around. Ah, there they were, right next to the clock.

Tapping one out of the pack, Akutsu settled it between his lips before grabbing the lighter. " 'm not sure which you is worse. Sleep-deprived or have-actually-slept." He flicked the lighter and brought the flame to the end of the cigarette, lighting it.

“I just absolutely could not wait to see you.” Niou stared for a moment at the disappointing hair being messed up and then did a quick analysis of the rest of Akutsu. He looked… well? And actually on that note… Niou leaned forward and reached out a hand to try and wipe off the remnants of hair gel from his fingers on the blankets.

Maybe instead of hitting Akutsu and trying to touch his hair, Niou should have gotten rid of the packet of cigarettes, he thought, staring at the stupid thing. “Probably sleep-deprived. For you, anyway. I don’t think you want to have to deal with my meltdowns and lapses in sanity.”

Akutsu took a long drag off the cigarette and let it out with a slow breath. The only measure of kindness Niou got this morning was that Akutsu didn't blow the smoke directly at him.

He didn't hide it as he looked Niou over, thinking back to how he'd looked the last time they'd seen each other. Niou looked…well, remarkably the same. Still over-tired, still skinny, same messy white hair complete with rattail. "You know. If you slept a normal amount on a regular basis, those meltdowns might just miraculously go away. Probably a result of you not sleeping enough in general."

“With the number of people who seem overly invested in making me sleep, I’m half tempted to start, just to get them to leave me alone.” It was… strange. But at least he had a comfortable closet to go hide in and maybe that would stop him from sleeping under a desk so often.

Niou sighed loudly and slouched in the chair, stretching out one leg to rest a foot against the edge of the bed. “And before you say whatever rude thing you’re thinking right now, the expedition was shit, yes I know I’ve lost weight and I’d pull up my shirt and show you, but I don’t want you counting ribs. And yes it’s good to see you too.”

Akutsu shrugged. "If that many people are telling you, there must be somethin' to it. Means they care about ya." At the very least, Akutsu didn't think it would hurt anything. Hard to be worse than the hot mess Niou has always been.

"I wasn't gonna say nothin." He shifted himself, leaning against the wall at the side of his bed, and stretched out his legs. "So first thing's first. What's the deal with the Uion shit? You still doin' that?"

“More like they just don’t want me perishing so the chickens are okay.” Especially with his recordings losing potency now.

Right. He had to explain this whole mess. “You’re not allowed to judge me, okay?” Akutsu was totally going to judge. “So I got recruited, right, as Uion. And I was fine with that because I’ve always kept work and personal life separate. But then on the trip over here I just… wanted to be Niou more.” Niou shrugged awkwardly. “And then I had to lie when I got busted by security working at night and… now Uion and Niou are twin brothers. I don’t even know. It’s so stupid.”

Akutsu just…stared as he listened. Niou was…pretending to be his own twin brother…

There were no words for the level of ridiculousness of that whole scenario.

"You couldn't just…tell the truth?"

There may have been multiple points on the expedition that Niou seriously thought about just coming clean. But also… no.

“I can’t now. Like Uion the engineer was meant to just exist at night, and not interact with anyone. And then I could just be myself normally to everyone.” And he could enjoy the fact that people underestimated him and have that one silly secret extra. “But like… Hiyoshi actually enjoys being with me when I’m Uion, I think? And kinda hates me as Niou. I can’t tell him I’ve been lying to him for the whole time. What kind of messed up person will he think I am?!”

Akutsu sighed and ran his fingers through his hair again, this time in annoyance. Niou was, well and truly, an idiot. "Yeah, you can. You can tell him what you just told me. Only start with an 'I'm really sorry' and end with an 'I hope you can forgive me'. Both sides are really you, so the only thing you're really lyin' about is the whole twin brother bullshit. And you can promise him you'll be less insane when you're around him, because you know he's not fond of all your other crap." Sure, this Hiyoshi guy would probably be mad, at least at first, but if he was a decent guy, he'd get over it.

"An' if he decides he wants nothin' with you after you come clean, he ain't worth the effort in the first place."

Akutsu made the whole thing just sound far too simple and easy to fix, as though Niou hadn’t just spent the last few weeks carefully monitoring everything he said both in person and on the journals, and keeping track of who he was being at the time.

“I’m not insane,” he said finally, giving Akutsu a flat, unfriendly look. And it was definitely just easier to focus in on that point, rather than anything else. “Okay maybe sometimes I am. When I know I need to sleep.”

Akutsu shrugged. "The point is, you know what I mean. You can still be more like your Uion persona around him, even if he knows the truth. Nothin' says you gotta change that." Ultimately, it was all Niou's choice. If he wanted to make himself absolutely nuts for the rest of his time here, that was up to him. "If it were me? I'd be more and more pissed off the longer you kept it secret. Tell me now, sure I'll be mad, but not nearly as mad as I'd be if it comes out a year from now, or two, or three. And…I'd be really fuckin' pissed if I heard it from someone else."

Akutsu wouldn't go and out Niou personally, at least not intentionally. But there was no guarantee that it wouldn't get out eventually, no matter how hard Niou tried.

Niou hunched in on himself as Akutsu spoke and god but sometimes he hated it when Akutsu actually sounded logical. “Except that you for some weird reason actually tolerate me being myself. And the Uion personality is…” He sighed. “... more likeable.”

He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “It’s fine. Just… I’ve told people that Uion is the one that left home and traveled. And Niou… stayed at home with family. So you don’t know Uion. Okay?”

Akutsu just shrugged. Sure, Niou took some getting used to, but he wasn't a bad guy. People would see that if they gave him enough of a chance. …Of course, though, Niou was right - Akutsu was the rare kind of person that gave few enough fucks that he didn't need to get used to him, right from the get-go. "I won't tell ya how to live your life. No matter if I agree with it or not." Even if it would get him in trouble someday.

Taking another hit from the cigarette, Akutsu decided to change the subject. "So how'd the hair washing thing go?"

“I would ignore you anyway, if you tried to tell me how to live my life.”

Niou touched his hair again, still enjoying the clean fluffiness over the itchy greasy feeling that he’d suffered through for two weeks out in the desert. It had been gross for all of them. “It was fine. Just hair washing.” He glanced at the cigarette and then to Akutsu’s face, frowning. “... You’re stressed. Why?”

Akutsu arched an eyebrow. So Niou wasn't going to go into details…Okay fine. Store that away for a later revenge question, just in case.

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe because I got woken up at 4am thinkin' someone was gonna shank me. Then it turns out to be you, touching my hair," he answered, letting the annoyance show through. Even if he had kind of expected Niou to pull some stunt, it didn't make being woken up this early any better.

Oh. Yes, he supposed that would be a fair enough reason to be stressed. “I’m so mad about it, you know. You’re sleeping with hair gel in,” Niou complained, and he pointedly wiped his hand on the blankets again.

He turned away from Akutsu and pulled up his shirt to look down and poke at where he'd been hit. Probably not going to bruise. And then Niou turned back to fall again into his relaxed slouch. "At what point did you actually wake up? Was it during the hair touching itself, the hitting, or something else?"

Akutsu snorted, really hoping he did, in fact, leave a bruise. It would serve Niou right. "I shower in the mornings. So yeah, still gel in my hair." Seemed kinda stupid to wash his hair before bed just to get the gel out, when he was gonna shower in the morning anyway. Course, he could shower at night, but he'd never liked going to bed with wet hair either.

"Probably started to wake when you came in. I don't sleep as heavy when there's noise. But definitely when you touched me. If someone's touching you at night, in prison, they never have good intentions."

“Interesting…” Niou stared at Akutsu’s hair as he thought - messier after sleep, but still definitely gelled and annoying. So there would be a small window of chance straight after the morning shower, then. “Do you gel your hair in the bathroom or in here? Do you need a mirror?”

He glanced away and oh, yes his peace offering. “That’s for you, by the way,” he waved at the can on the side table. “To wake you up properly.”

Akutsu's eyes narrowed. That rat bastard really wasn't gonna let it go, was he? " 'm not tellin'." The guy had a way of getting information out of anybody and anything. Akutsu wasn't gonna let himself be one of them if he could help it.

Looking over to where Niou had indicated, he spotted the can of caffeine juice. "...Those things are only marginally better than that crap they call coffee, you know," he grumped, even as he leaned over to grab it. He set his cigarette in the ashtray on his headboard for now, then popped the can open and took a drink. With Niou here, there was no way he was going back to sleep, so he might as well.

“I don’t drink it for the taste, it’s just for the caffeine to keep me awake when I’m working.” And they were tolerable to drink, which was the important thing.

Niou rubbed at the mole on his chin and glanced down to Akutsu’s face, and then back to up keep considering his hair. “So, you said it was a feely-emotional thing, right? Like with the boundary with fling and actual relationship. How would you deal with it if they want to touch your hair? Would you give up the gel, or would it have to be a pre-planned touching so you can wash it first?”

Akutsu just stared blankly at Niou, regretting the life choice of having told even that much to the guy. Clearly, the best way to handle his questions was not to answer them at all… Well. No, there probably was no best way to handle them. Niou would ask all the questions he wanted, regardless. He could always lie, too, but Akutsu didn't like being lied to, so he really did try not to lie himself. Besides. Lies meant having to put effort into keeping things straight, and that just took way too much effort.

"What if someone wanted to touch your hair? What would you do?"

“I offered you the chance, didn’t I?” Niou raised an eyebrow at Akutsu and then laughed, ruffling up his hair and slouching a bit more.

“I assume that if anyone wanted to touch my hair and asked, I would have cleared a few other physical touch things with them first.” Niou shrugged a bit uncomfortably. “And at that point, I mean, I’d be okay with it? The hair’s dead anyway.”

Akutsu shrugged. He'd never said he wanted to touch it. That was also kind of in the feely-emotional realm of things, although not as strongly or strictly.

"You're so weird about touch." Weird enough that Akutsu was curious. But he wasn't going to pull a Niou and ask it to death. If Niou wanted to tell him, then he'd listen, but it would be on Niou's terms. "Kind of amazing someone hasn't decided to like, touch you to death. It's too tempting…" he smirked. The thought of just…randomly touching Niou any time they crossed paths…was way too amusing. Nothing dirty, just…poking a finger against Niou's arm, or slapping a palm against his shoulder. Little things most people wouldn't think twice of.

“I just don’t like physical contact in general. You know this. There’s nothing weird about it.”

Niou’s cheek twitched at the sort of threat and god but he really hated it when Akutsu said things that just sounded like challenges. He stared flatly at Akutsu for a long moment before he suddenly pushed up the sleeve of his shirt past his elbow and sat forward to hold out his arm in front of him. “Here you go, then, Jin. Try it.”

Akutsu watched the display with a straight face…but he couldn't help laughing at him. Actual, genuine laughter…with maybe a hint of wickedness. "Oh no. It's not fun if you're expecting it," he smirked, very thoroughly amused…

And then he grabbed Niou by the wrist and pulled him further, until Akutsu was able to whisper right into Niou's ear. "The fun is in catching you off-guard."

He let go and leaned back as soon as he said it, because teasing was one thing, but he wasn't actually out to traumatize the guy.

… He probably should have expected that. The hand on his wrist was fine, but the sudden closeness and being pulled closer was not and he tensed up as Akutsu was right there.

“Fuck off.” Niou whacked his freed hand against Akutsu’s chest and withdrew back to his chair with a sulk. “Oh my god my heartrate is so high right now, I hate you so much.”

Akutsu just laughed again. That was a truly priceless reaction. So much better than just freaking him out over the journals. "Oh c'mon. You know I like pushing boundaries. If you're gonna offer to let me touch ya, you gotta be prepared for more than you offer." It wasn't the first time Akutsu had messed with him like that, but it had been a long time since then.

He leaned all the way back against the wall, arms crossed behind his head, but couldn't help the smirk. "Take your time and calm down. I promise I'll behave. …for now."

“And yet you’re so strict with your own boundaries on what I can do,” Niou shot back, still giving Akutsu annoyed looks.

He sat silently for a moment and watched Akutsu closely in case he moved from his spot. Take a few deep breaths and calm down... “Oh my god I’m getting goosebumps just from that,” he complained, raising his arm to show Akutsu accusingly. “I’d probably actually die if you did that again.”

Akutsu chuckled, eyeing the very visible goosebumps. "Don't tempt me, Niou."

To help Niou calm down, Akutsu didn't move, except to bring his arms back down from behind his head when they got tired. He really didn't want to completely destroy the guy's modicum of trust. "Yes. But my boundaries are specific and don't change day to day or who I'm with. Anybody that touches my hair while it's loose gets punched. Period." There were others, of course, but they hadn't been brought up around Niou yet, and Akutsu intended to keep it that way.

“You’d miss me too much.” Niou said back immediately and rubbed his arm. “You’d get bored without someone to horrify every day with your perverted comments.” He pulled down his shirt sleeve and let out one big final sigh, making himself relax again.

He narrowed his eyes as Akutsu spoke. “So it’s the unclear boundaries that’s the problem here.” Niou toed off his shoes and shifted his chair so he could put his feet up on the bed properly. “So if I set really clear boundaries with you, and didn’t change them… you’d actually listen?”

"I'd find someone my comments would bother," Akutsu teased, taking another drink of the caffeine juice. …That real coffee shipment couldn't come soon enough. He would drown in the stuff if he could.

…It was really tempting to say no, or maybe, because he did actually enjoy being an ass… But Niou seemed to actually be serious about it. And Akutsu really didn't like double-standards. So…if he expected Niou to behave about touching his hair, then it was only fair that he adhere to whatever boundaries Niou set…no matter how boring that was. "Yeah. I would."

“It wouldn’t be the same and you know it.” And other people on the base seemed… quite unruffled about the whole thing, it was strange.

Niou fidgeted as he thought, staring at the wall next to Akutsu’s head with a frown. His first instinct was to just ban any physical contact, but… “Anything covered by clothing, you’re not allowed to touch,” he said finally. Which really just left his head, neck and hands to protect from Akutsu’s poking. “So if I do something like… show you my arm, or… get overcome by madness and take off my shirt, you can consider it an open invitation to do whatever.” Niou paused and looked vaguely horrified. “... I won’t be taking off my shirt around you anyway, just by the way. Maybe I’ll roll up pant legs or something.”

Akutsu arched an eyebrow. So…he could touch skin, but not clothing. That actually wasn't a stretch, and he'd had that restriction once before…until the person warmed up to him enough to give him free reign…although the initial regions he was limited to that time were a lot more expansive…

"Alright. Though, for the record, if you're overcome by madness, it's not an open invitation. Madness means you can't consent. So if you start streaking through Yomi in your birthday suit, the only thing I'm gonna do is wrap you in a blanket to cover you up." Because Niou would have to be either completely out of his mind or hallucinating on worm meat (because apparently that was a thing??) if he was running around stark naked.

Niou was disgusted into silence - and maybe a bit surprised at the weird thoughtfulness of Akutsu wrapping him up in a blanket? - at the next words. “The madness was hyperbolic. I meant like… if I decided to actually use the pool or something when it’s completed.”

He shuffled his chair a bit closer again so he could kick Akutsu’s leg. “Why would you go straight to me being naked, oh my god. Why would you even think it?” Niou purposely did a look down and up Akutsu and made a gagging noise after.

"You're the one that brought up going mad. And if you've completely lost your shit, who knows what you might be doing?" Akutsu shrugged.

"...You can use the pool without having all your skin hanging out, yanno. They make bodysuits…long sleeve swim shirts…" Granted, with the length of time it took things to get out there to them, Niou would have to order it like, now, to make sure it arrived by the time the pool was ready. "Won't help with everyone else running around half naked, but at least you won't be."

“I’m not about to strip naked during one of my lapses in sanity,” Niou said. “I just… get cranky. And a bit violent. You know this already, why am I bothering to explain this to you?” He was pretty sure he’d had at least one meltdown from lack of sleep when they’d been on Earth together…?

Niou tugged on his sleeves and shrugged. “I just spent 2 weeks wearing a nanosuit that showed everything, Akutsu.” He’d gotten a bit desensitised to it eventually, but it was still awkward to think about. “Loose clothing only for a while, I think. You probably would’ve liked them though, gross pervert.”

"Yeah, I know. But it's been a while. Things coulda changed," Akutsu shrugged. …and then he couldn't help a smirk at the mention of the nanosuits. "I was up there when everybody got back. Wasn't much to look at, for the most part." Team 1 especially…big, bulky guys..decent packages, if he was into being the bottom, but really Akutsu was an ass guy. Team 2 had been where the views were. But Niou was on team 2, so he wasn't going to say that.

Besides, if he was gonna see that much detail, he'd much prefer an unobstructed view. "Woulda been a lot better if y'all were wearing nothing."

Niou was shocked into horrified silence at the thought that Akutsu was there. Especially with post-helmet greasy hair and… oh my god, he had totally perved on all of them because that was the sort of horrific person he was.

He lifted up the collar of his shirt up to his chin as though that hid him a little better and kicked at Akutsu’s legs again. “Disgusting. Please just lie to me and tell me you did not look at me at all when I was wearing that suit.”

Akutsu just quietly sipped on his caffeine juice. He'd already told Niou he didn't lie…not even if he was told to.

The silence stretched and Niou made a disgusted sound. He kicked Akutsu’s legs again and slumped back, covering his face with his hands. “I hate you so much.”

And he hated his absolute masochistic curiosity that always needed to poke and get more information. “Was I as skinny and boney as you thought I’d be under the clothes? Hiyoshi laughed at my arms.”

Akutsu chuckled a little. Niou really just couldn't help himself. "Well. It's not exactly like you had optimal nutrition and sleep habits for two weeks, so it's hard to say. Maybe a little thinner than I remember, but not terrible." Niou's ass had gotten a bit flatter…but Akutsu already had Niou freaking out enough as it was. He decided to be nice for a change and keep that part to himself.

Niou bit his tongue from mentioning that he’d probably actually slept better on the trip than he normally did, what with the combined boredom and Hiyoshi staring daggers at him and bullying him. Akutsu didn’t need to know that.

“Than you remember? When have you–” Niou lowered his hands to just sigh as he remembered that that’s right, Akutsu apparently had a weird memory catalog of how everyone looked. “The best looking was Mr Oshitari, right?” he said with a grin. “Very handsome, very nice hair. Very smart too.”

Akutsu shrugged. "I can see how people would find him attractive. Doesn't really do it for me, though." He thought back to each of the members of both teams. None of them were necessarily his type, but it's also not like anyone was unattractive. "Best ass was definitely that kinda short, surly guy from your team. But I won't be touchin that." Reminded him too much of himself in younger days.

Short, surly guy… “Hiyoshi?” Niou grinned as he thought about the guy he’d spent far too much time next to over the last two weeks. “He’s a 5th dan in kobujutsu, probably best if you stay far away from him.”

Niou paused and narrowed his eyes at Akutsu. “I see you’re just judging people’s attractiveness on their asses though.” He pulled a face. “Gross as always. It’s so nice to know you don’t change.”

"Is that his name?" Akutsu shrugged. "Martial arts or no, I'm not gonna try to do nothin." Weird how much Hiyoshi looked like Akutsu as a kid. …who knew? Maybe Hiyoshi's dad was Akutsu's sperm donor.

"It's not just that," he replied, giving Niou an annoyed look. "It's not like any of 'em are ugly. I just wouldn't try to fuck 'em," he shrugged. "Too many of 'em look like tops. I prefer bottoms." Switches were okay too, of course, but it was harder to just look at someone and guess they'd be a switch than it was to guess top or bottom.

“Yes, and he’s my… friend? Maybe…?” Question mark? Niou trailed off uncertainly. “I have learned a lot of fun facts about him, anyway. I quite like him, so stay away from him.”

And that was way too much information right there. “Thank you, so much, for making your sexual preferences clear to me,” Niou said flatly. “I continue to be so curious about your hobbies and interests.” He paused and tilted his head as he looked at Akutsu, the monotone in his voice lifting as he spoke again. “Actually, doesn’t that just mean that you like a certain appearance, in the people that you have sex with? Since you were judging on looks alone.”

Akutsu couldn't help an amused snort at how Niou couldn't even tell when to call someone a friend. "Glad you've got somebody whose company you enjoy." Even if Niou was lying to the guy about the whole Uion thing.

"When it comes to casual flings or one-night-stands, yeah. I guess I probably have a type," he replied with a shrug. If it came to a serious relationship, well, that was different…not that he was the relationship type, of course. "If I ever somehow got serious, who knows."

“Yeah, with you and him here, I have two people whose company I enjoy,” Niou said teasingly. “You, sometimes at least.”

He’d probably enjoy Akutsu’s company so much more if their conversations didn’t bring out his masochistic curiosity and have Niou poke for questions that made him pull faces at the answers. “What, just anyone who looks like they might fit your definition of a ‘bottom’ and would let you? God, your standards…”

Niou shook his head and nudged at Akutsu’s leg with his foot. “Jin, give me your hand for a minute.”

Akutsu smirked. It was almost a shame Niou was so fun to mess with. He knew how to press Niou's buttons and get the most amusing reactions…so…why wouldn't he? "...Well, yeah, pretty much," he shrugged. Cute and/or hot, and consenting. That's pretty much all that mattered, for the flings, anyway.

He raised an eyebrow at Niou nudging his leg, and the other eyebrow at Niou asking for his hand. …It seemed highly suspicious… But he stuck out his left hand anyway. Just to see what Niou would do. "What're you up to?"

“Urgh. I hope you run out of people willing to even consider you soon, and you can spend the rest of the time here blue balled and miserable.” Maybe Niou should start a campaign, just to annoy Akutsu. Something to do in his spare time later.

Niou shuffled his chair a bit closer and higher up the bed. He reached out and grabbed onto Akutsu’s hand with his own, grasping tightly. “Exposure therapy. For one minute.” He glanced at the time and started counting the seconds in his head.

Akutsu let out a slightly wicked laugh. "Won't happen. Too many have expressed interest in…repeat performances."

He watched Niou grabbing his hand and holding it, tightly, almost like he was afraid. …And maybe he was. Akutsu didn't know what caused Niou's touch aversion. He didn't even know how long he'd had it - was it something he was born with? Or did something happen and it was a kind of trauma response? Niou had seemed a bit cagey about it the time Akutsu had asked on the journals, so he wasn't going to make matters worse by pestering him. Niou would tell him, if or when he felt safe enough to do so, and not a moment sooner. And that was how it should be - pressing him to talk could traumatize him further, after all. So he simply sat there, Niou's hand in his, and Akutsu on his best behavior. … Well. As close to it as he ever got, anyway.

Too many. … “You’ve been here two weeks. How many people did you manage to have sex with in two weeks?!” And then Niou cut himself off. “Don’t answer that! I don’t want to know!”

Niou’s heart rate accelerated when he first grabbed Akutsu’s hand and maybe part of him almost expected and was bracing for Akutsu to do… his usual thing and be terrible. But… nothing? Niou glanced up from their hands to Akutsu’s face and oh. Okay then. He relaxed a bit and held on a bit looser. “You were full of bullshit, by the way. Your hands are definitely not big enough to hold onto both my wrists with one hand,” he said casually. One minute was up, but he was going to keep doing this relaxed hand holding just a little bit longer.

"I haven't counted, honestly," Akutsu replied with a small shrug. Some were repeats already, but there was a pretty good variety…for some reason, especially among the nurses…and they seemed quite…eager...

Akutsu looked at their hands, the size of his against the diameter of Niou's wrist. He still thought he could do it. Maybe not as effortlessly as he'd initially believed, but it was probably doable. "Wanna find out? I promise to behave." It'd be interesting to see if Niou would take him up on it..

“If you count, do not tell me.” It was gross enough when Akutsu actually told him when he was off to have sex.

If Akutsu hadn’t just sat there and quietly let him hold hands for over a minute - a minute and a half, the counting in the back of his mind said - then Niou would definitely say no. But… Niou stared at his face for a moment to try and detect any lie behind the promise before he shrugged and dropped Akutsu’s hand. “Sure.” He pushed both his sleeves up to show his forearms and held them out to Akutsu. “But I want to hold your hand again after. Maybe.”

Akutsu shifted, moving forwards a bit as he turned his back towards Niou. The grip he had in mind worked better when their arms were coming from the same direction, so without getting too close or doing anything to make it inappropriate, he got as close as he could to that. Then, with one hand, he crossed Niou's wrists, settling them in his grip. It was definitely not as effortless as he'd thought, but he was right. Still totally doable.

"Toldja so."

Niou watched silently as Akutsu moved and his expression soured as it was definitely proven that yes, he was wrong. “Okay, this was when you were threatening to force me to sleep and stay in bed. And–” he cut off as the current position of his wrists in Akutsu’s hand and what he’d said after all of that fell into place. “Oh. Oh my god you are the worst.”

His fingers twitched and he nudged Akutsu with a foot awkwardly. “Go back to how you were sitting before. I want to go back to hand holding.”

"At least now you know I don't threaten anything I can't actually do," Akutsu teased, letting go of Niou's wrists and moving back to his previous spot, with his back to the wall and directly facing Niou. "I'd've been real surprised if I couldn't do it at all…though I'll give ya that it's not as easy as I expected."

He held a hand out to Niou again, biting back the urge to say something inappropriate. It was way past a single minute, but he wasn't gonna call Niou out on it. For one, the other guy probably already knew. For two, any progress is good progress.

“Proving one thing doesn’t automatically make every threat you make possible,” Niou argued back. Of course, there were some things that he definitely wasn’t willing to even test and would have to trust Akutsu on their truthfulness, but for others… “And I’m skinny but not that bad.”

Niou reached out to hold onto Akutsu’s hand again, much easier now. It wasn’t so bad, what with Akutsu moving particularly slowly and carefully about the whole thing. “So what sort of hours are you working? Will I get to see you in engineering, or just with my chickens?”

Akutsu just smirked. "I wouldn't make a threat I wasn't confident I could follow through on." And as long as Niou didn't actually test out some of them, it was all good.

"Right now they got me on day shift. I think they're usin' it to see what I can do as far as the engineering stuff. Sure, I ain't Uion, but I'm not bad at least at the smaller stuff. There's talk about tryin' me out on second or third shift at some point, but they seem to want me supervised til then. There's also a lot of grunt work on days, so the extra hands are needed there more than anything else right now." The thought of having to work third shift made Akutsu cringe, about as much as actually working days. When left completely to his own devices, he was definitely more of a second shift guy. Sleep in late, get off work early enough to still have some fun after…

“I’m fairly sure your dick would just shrivel up and fall off if you ever got me naked in bed with you," Niou shot back. "And no I don't want to test that theory, don't you dare even ask."

Oh that was interesting, that Akutsu was being used in engineering. Which... made sense given that he did actually know things. "I work nights down there, if you ever get stuck on those." He shrugged. "For some reason Uion is an actually trustworthy and decent part of the engineering team. I might even be allowed to supervise you at work."

Akutsu just left alone the comment about his dick falling off. Niou severely underestimated his libido, if he thought that was true.

"I dunno how much I'll be doing with that stuff, honestly. Right now it feels a little…like they don't exactly know what to do with me? So they're lettin' me kinda do whatever, for now, so they can see if I should go anywhere specific or just kinda float where needed." The thought of floating around was fine. The variety would be good for him, keep him from getting too terribly bored anywhere…because bad things happened when he got bored. "Only thing they don't seem to keen on lettin' me do is fly," he chuckled.

Niou watched their hands as he shifted his hold around: resting on top of Akutsu’s, sliding up to curiously circle fingers around his wrist, intertwining their fingers and… this was really fine. He settled back on just loosely holding hands and relaxed a bit more.

“Considering that you’ve been to prison for stealing spacecraft, they’d be stupid to let you fly anything,” Niou said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “Well, I sleep in my office sometimes during the day. So if you’re down there and the door’s shut, you can come in and say ‘hi’, I guess. Try and steal some of my tools, if you must, for old time’s sake.”

Akutsu had no problem with the idea of letting Niou explore touch, or even using him as a guinea pig, so the curious touches were fine…until Niou intertwined their fingers, and his whole body went stiff as the memory of the last time he'd held hands with someone like that came flooding back.

It took a moment, but Akutsu found himself almost involuntarily yanking his hand away and reaching for his long-forgotten cigarette, which had, luckily, not burned itself all the way down to the filter yet. He took a looong inhale off the cig, eyes closing as he held the smoke in as long as he could before letting it out slowly.

Damn. That was unexpected.

Niou blinked in surprise as Akutsu suddenly pulled his hand away and… okay then. He looked down at his hand and then up to Akutsu’s face, frowning as he tried to figure out what had happened.

“That was a very long minute, I guess,” he said finally, in a half-hearted attempt to give Akutsu some kind of out. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

Akutsu stayed quiet until he'd smoked the cigarette down to the filter. When it was done, he stabbed it out in the ashtray…and debated starting another one. For Niou's sake (and his roommate's - even though the guy wasn't here, he'd still have to deal with the smell when he came back), he left the pack alone. For now at least.

"Sorry. Not your fault," Akutsu felt the need to clarify. "But before you can ask, no, I'm not gonna talk about it."

Niou sat in silence as well, fiddling with his sleeves as he waited. After two weeks of a lot of sitting in silence, it wasn’t the worst thing, but his brain was so active now after sleeping the night. Still, it gave him time to mull over what had happened.

He laughed when Akutsu finally spoke. “I wasn’t going to ask.” Maybe. At least not immediately. “I think I mostly figured it out anyway.” He didn’t 100% know which of the things he’d done had caused it, but he had his suspicions.

“Besides the last bit though, it was… okay? Not weird?”

Niou wasn't going to ask? Yeah, right. He'd ask. Eventually. Akutsu was sure of it. Akutsu also might punch him if he did it in person…so Niou would probably end up asking over the journals. Of course…unfortunately for Akutsu, Niou probably had figured it out, at least to some degree. The guy was too damn observant and intuitive for his own good.

"Contrary to your belief, touch is actually a good thing. Supposed to help decrease stress levels or some shit like that. …Well. The right kinds of touch, anyway." There were definitely plenty of bad kinds of touches, too, but even as weirded out as he was currently, he wasn't gonna remind Niou of that.

He could almost hear what he was fairly sure were words Akutsu was thinking. Sure, the ‘right kinds of touch’. Niou just gave him a suspicious look but absolutely refused to react more than that just in case Akutsu got some weird perverted joy in knowing he didn’t even need to say anything.

“So you’d be willing to do it again?” Niou asked. “The exposure therapy, that is, not the…?” he took a gamble on the options and clasped his own hands together, interlocking his fingers with a questioning glance to Akutsu’s face. “Like just the hand holding was fine.”

Yep. Fuck Niou and his observant nature. Maybe he really should have that second cigarette after all… Akutsu glanced towards his pack again, seriously considering it, and annoyed as fuck that he apparently hadn't put that as far behind him as he'd thought. Fuck.

Okay fine. Second cigarette time. Akutsu didn't answer Niou until after he'd taken a puff from the new one. "Eventually. Sure." Undoing his own fucked-up-ness might take some time. UGH.

Oh, another cigarette. Stress, definitely, Niou thought, watching Akutsu’s expression. He looked down at his own hand again and flexed his fingers with a bit of a thoughtful hum.

He grinned at the agreement and went back to the safe zone of nudging Akutsu’s leg with his foot. “Good. I want to build it up, you know. Eventually. Thank you for your cooperation, Akutsu.”

Akutsu took another puff, but he nudged Niou's foot with his leg in return, trying to shake himself out of this funk at least a little bit. It really wasn't Niou's fault, and it was oddly important to him to make sure Niou understood that. "Yeah. No problem. Happy to help you be a little less of a freak," he smirked, hoping to find distraction, at least, in their usual banter.

Okay. Still stressed, but trying apparently. Niou kept poking with his foot.

“So I managed to sit next to people for two weeks without any real problems. And obviously hand holding was nice. Maybe I should try it with other people first though…” Niou trailed off in thought before shaking himself back into the conversation. “So if the end goal is cuddling, what’re the steps in between?”

Akutsu just kind of stared. The end goal was just to cuddle? Yep. Niou is a freak, confirmed. Before he talked, he spent a few moments using his own foot to poke back at Niou's.

"Well. For one, you're gonna have to eventually get rid of the 'only touch what isn't covered by clothing' rule at some point. ….Unless of course you plan on doing your cuddling naked…"

Oh he just couldn't help it. Niou made himself so easy to tease…

Niou stared at Akutsu, speechless for a long moment. "That rule is only for you because otherwise you're the worst. I'm not about to tell other people they can only touch my bare skin, I want to eventually... maybe, cuddle with other people, I'll have you know."

And then his brain caught up to his mouth and Niou abruptly kicked Akutsu in the leg before covering his face with his hands. "And don't you dare interpret that to mean I want to cuddle with you naked, oh my god, just kill me now." Niou thought his ears might actually be going red from that stuff up.

Akutsu couldn't help it and laughed. A good, hearty, from-the-belly laugh. One little remark and Niou goes down the rabbit hole all by himself. It was great.

When he finally managed to get his laughter down to a moderate chuckle, he gave Niou's knee a nudge with his foot. "Aw, so you're saying I'm special. How nice of you."

Niou just kept his face buried while Akutsu laughed at him, thinking through his to do list that he had to eventually face down in engineering to try and get control over his expression again. His leg twitched at the unexpected nudge and he groaned, dragging his hands down his face.

“Just answer my question, Akutsu. Sitting next to each other and handholding down one end, and clothed cuddling down the other. What’s in the middle?”

Akutsu couldn't help being amused by Niou's reactions. So much better seeing them in person than imagining them over the journals. "I'm hardly a therapist. …but given your doctor aversion seems to be worse than your touch aversion, bet there's no way I could convince you to talk to one of them." He wondered just how freaked out Niou would be with a doctor around…

"I dunno, really. Stuff like this, I guess." Akutsu nudged Niou's knee with his foot again. "Not freakin' out if someone pats ya on the back or puts a hand on your shoulder. Eventually work up to stuff that involves more contact. Someone drapin' an arm over your shoulders. Or you over theirs. Arm around the waist is a bit more intimate, but doesn't have to be like, couple-y. I guess like, close buddies-ish. …Hugs." Akutsu shrugged. He was mostly talking out of his ass, but there was at least thought to it. Moving from stuff that could be done at arms' length to stuff that required two bodies being in close proximity in addition to actual contact. Who the hell knew if it would actually work, though.

Niou gave Akutsu a confused and grumpy look - the mention about a doctor was completely uncalled for here. “Not a chance. Don’t even think about it.”

He automatically moved to nudge Akutsu back and frowned at the progression of physical contact. It made sense, sort of, he supposed. “Right.” Niou rubbed at his chin mole and he needed to get the words in order first so he didn’t end up saying horrific things again. “And… how far along that scale would you be willing to help with? With appropriate adjustments to the clothing boundary as we went?”

Under normal circumstances, Akutsu would've simply said 'as far as you'll let me' and left it at that, letting Niou's mind go wherever it damn well wanted. But…this wasn't exactly normal. Not since Akutsu had been put on edge, even if it was definitely not intentional. So, instead of being an ass and blowing it off, he actually gave it consideration.

"Probably the arm around the shoulders thing." For now, at least. Wasn't worth risking another fucking flashback to go further. Ugh. He should probably find a real way to deal with that.

Niou was actually maybe a bit surprised that Akutsu hadn't teased him, and instead seemed to actually answer properly. "I see. I'll have to work up to that with you slowly, then." Well, at the very least, it wouldn't be awkward silences between them, since they seemed to have fallen back into the chatter quite easily.

And then to lighten the mood, Niou nudged again and rolled his eyes. "And don't worry, if I eventually get to the stage of casual naked cuddling with people, I'll ask you first."

"Go at your pace. Most people are probably gonna be okay with way more than you are." There was no need to rush getting over fears. Rushing through it might even do more damage. "Take it as slow as you need."

Akutsu arched an eyebrow. "Casual naked cuddling is not a thing, Niou." Especially not with someone whose mind often went to sex. There might be post-coital cuddling, but…that's a whole other bird.

Yeah, something was definitely off because Akutsu was being way too nice and thoughtful right now. Niou narrowed his eyes at him. “Well I’ve got 5 years. Maybe by the time I leave Izanagi, I’ll be a well adjusted human being for the first time.”

He shrugged. “Casual naked cuddling could be a thing, you clearly just haven’t tried it.” Although, actually it would probably be a bit awkward being completely naked as he thought about it. “... Casual almost-naked cuddling.” Niou amended. “With underwear on at least. We could one day try it, you know. Get you that first time experience.”

Akutsu narrowed his eyes back at Niou. Yeah, he was aware he wasn't being his usual level of asshole, and yeah, he knew Niou knew it. But he'd be damned if he was gonna offer up any more insight into why. He probably wouldn't be totally back to his usual self until after some time to try to put everything out of his mind where it belonged. "You? Well-adjusted? That I'll believe when I see it."

Shaking his head, Akutsu just smirked a little. And then realized he'd been about to say something stupid, so he took a drag from the cigarette to buy a little time before actually answering. "Why would I want to try it? Casual sex is so much better."

“If I manage, you have to pay me back for the things you stole from my shop. And actually admit to my face that you stole things.” Because Niou knew he had, but Akutsu was annoyingly vague about the whole thing.

Niou rolled his eyes and went back to nudging at Akutsu’s leg with his foot. “Because you’ve never tried it and you actually have a smidgen of curiosity in your soul? And you want to prove to me that you’re not as boring as you sometimes come across?” He shrugged. “And it’d be the only chance you’d get in this universe to see me nearly-naked, you know. And I know you’ve been curious ever since you tried to proposition me when we first met.”

Oh. Oh that was funny. The joke was on Niou… Sure, Akutsu had stolen from him. A few bolts here and there, pieces of wire… Little things that unless Niou kept insane records on, most likely wouldn't be noticed. But…well. He had borrowed a few of Niou's tools…but big things like that he always made sure to put back…even if they weren't exactly where Niou had last left them. Well. There was that one thing that he'd lost…but he'd fully intended to return that one too! "Sure, why not," Akutsu grinned, way too amused by it all for his own good.

Since Niou had started nudging him again, Akutsu went ahead and kept nudging back. " 'm not nearly as curious as you think, yanno. And…I really am pretty boring, except in bed…" he shrugged. "For the record, I used to be curious. Once I realized how bony you are, the thrill was gone." …well, maybe not entirely, but Niou really was a little thinner than Akutsu typically went for.

“Good.” Because really, Niou just wanted the actual confession that Akutsu had been a dick and stolen from him when they’d first met and broken into his shop. “I shall keep you updated on my progress of becoming a human.”

And here Akutsu went again, being gross. Niou lifted his shirt collar up to his chin again as though to protect himself and just gave Akutsu an unimpressed look. “I don’t know whether to be relieved you’re not curious, or horrified that you somehow still managed to figure out how boney I am.” He dropped his shirt and exhaled loudly, looking down to where he poked at Akutsu’s leg again. “You know though… thanks for helping with the exposure therapy thing. I know it’s stupid…” Niou glanced up to Akutsu’s face. “I really like you, Jin…”

Niou held it for three seconds before his expression cleared and he laughed, leaning in a bit closer with a grin. “Be honest, Akutsu, did your heart accelerate then?”

Akutsu wasn't sure how he managed to keep a straight face when Niou finally said it. Honestly, he'd started to think Niou had forgotten…when in actuality it was more like he had forgotten that Niou's mind was like a steel trap sometimes.

He let himself stay quiet a moment, like he was checking himself to see. Yep, no reaction. Not the way Niou wanted, anyway. But he had gotten an idea…

He let himself frown slightly, almost apologetically. "No, I'm afraid not… It's a shame, really. Because I really like you too, Masaharu."

Ha. Take that.

That was… not in Niou’s list of expected responses to that. His grin faltered as he searched Akutsu’s face for the follow up laugh and teasing. And now his ears felt like they were burning. “Fuck off.” Niou kicked Akutsu’s leg, one more time, hard, and then brought his feet back in to curl awkwardly on the chair.

He tilted his head back and covered his face with his hand. “You’re completely banned from saying that to me,” Niou said, pointing at Akutsu. “Ever. Gross weirdo. Fuck you.”

Niou's reaction was absolutely priceless, and Akutsu could finally let out the laugh he'd been holding in. He'd only said it to fuck with him, of course, and he was sooo not disappointed.

"That's what you get," Akutsu managed in between hearty chuckles. "And I told you I wouldn't end up blushing about it." Was it embarrassing to hear? Sure. But blush-worthy? Not unless there was a truly different dynamic to their relationship.

Before Akutsu could rub it in any more, though, the obnoxious chirping of his alarm started sounding. He glanced at the clock. "Fuck. It's that time already?" Ugh. He was partially annoyed that he didn't have the day off, but at the same time…focusing on work might help him shove other things out of his head. "Guess it's time to get ready for work."

Niou didn’t know if the laughter was helping or making it worse. And the fact that it was Akutsu’s very familiar laughter… he was glad for the sudden change in topic.

He dug his fingers into his face as he breathed in and pulled on his usual personality, uncurling to stand up. “Yeah I should probably go see the chickens. And then see what sort of horrific job list I have waiting for me at engineering.” Niou’s expression slipped for a second as he looked at Akutsu again and then he grinned. “Sorry for making you smoke two cigarettes this morning. I’ll try keep it to just one per visit in the future.”

"I don't even wanna think about what Engineering looks like," Akutsu remarked, sliding himself off the bed and standing with a stretch. "Good thing I don't expect to be down there today." He walked towards Niou, half seeing him to the door…and half to mess with him one last time. "It should've been more like four…but I held back for your sake," he teased. …Just like he was holding back on being a complete dick and slapping Niou on the ass on his way out. "Now scoot. Unless you wanna watch me strip for the shower."

“Good, you need to stop smoking.” Said Niou, who didn’t sleep or eat properly. He gave one last disgusted look at Akutsu and whacked him on the stomach before leaving. “I hope you drown in the shower.”